Heroes Across Time Abridged
by Kyuubi16
Summary: A shorter and more humorous retelling of my Heroes Across Time fic. Join Naruto and Linika as they as they set forth on there Heroic and Perverted journey to save Hyrule.
1. Enter the Perverted Duo

Heroes Across Time Abridged

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I would like to get a shout out to Adamswestlapdog from Youtube. A lot of the material here is based off his abridged series, so credit goes where credit is due. But of course with a female link it couldn't be all that much.

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Warning

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This will be far more perverted and violent. Meaning random Lemons, some small, swearing and violence. No one under 18 should be reading this.

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Naruto x Harem

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When the sun cast its first rays onto the land of Hyrule, the Great Deku Tree stirred. Having never rested before in its whole life, it was a strange sensation to actually wake up with the rest of the forest. Strange and very troublesome at the same time. But, then again, the Great Deku Tree knew why. The events of last night were still fresh in its mind and the Great Deku Tree knew that the Wheels of Fate had been set into motion.

All it could do now was help them move along more smoothly.

Knowing that its power, and its life, was both very limited, the Great Deku Tree knew it was time to play its part and set into motion the events that would help protect the land of Hyrule from the coming storm.

Using some of its power, the Great Deku tree called out to the forest.

**_''Navi . . . ."_**

The voice was aged and wise, filled with the very vibrating power of wisdom of times beyond memory. The voice resounded through the forest, but was carried along through the roots and between the branches of the tall forest trees, picked up and whisked along by the wind, and reached the one it was addressed to with immediate and urgent clarity: the fairy known as Navi.

The tiny sprite was dancing between the boughs, reveling in life just like every other creature in the Kokiri Forest, when the summons of the guardian spirit of the woods, the Great Deku Tree, reached her. She stopped in mid-flight, and wheeled on his urgent call; all the creatures of the forest sprang from the Deku Tree, and thus they all obeyed his ancient and benevolent will. Her tiny wings pumped as she flew through the woods, wheeling and twisting between branches and trunks, zeroing in on his call and arriving in moments, with only the speed one of her kind could manage.

"Great Deku Tree?' she answered as she flew into his clearing, understanding the urgency in his voice. Rising above the grassy soil by the height of a hundred and more Kokiri, the Great Deku Tree was vast, like a tremendous pillar supporting the entire forest. His branches stretched off into the trees surrounding the clearing, melding with them and providing a solid green and brown canopy above the place he resided.

"I'm here, Great Deku Tree," she said.

"**Thou hast wasted no time, as always, dear Navi," **the Deku Tree spoke, his words resounding across the clearing and into Navi's heart. He did not speak audibly, but his will was carried through the forest that he had protected since time immemorial, and was sent into the hearts and minds of those he chose to speak with.

"I felt . . . When you called me, I could feel something was wrong," the sprite replied, drifting closer to the Deku Tree's front, where the bark was shaped into what vaguely resembled the wizened expression of an ancient man.

"**Thy instincts are correct, Navi,"** he responded. **"I require thy aid, for this is a task I cannot entrust to any fairy but that one I trust the most.** **Do you not sense it? Do you not sense the climate of evil that is descending upon our Realm?"**

Navi nodded. "Yes, Great Deku Tree, I have felt it."

"Then you know what is happening. For so long, the Kokiri Forest has stood as a barrier keeping evil from reaching our land of Hyrule. I believe that the time has come for the girl without a fairy to begin her journey. You must find her and guide her to me. Fly, Navi, fly! The fate of the forest, nay, the world, depends on her."

Navi didn't waist any time. She quickly flew towards Kokiri Village as fast as her wings would carry her. She flew through the entire village but only came across Kokiri children who already had fairy partners. She was getting ready to start her search over again, when she noticed something out of place.

All the homes that she had seen so far were very well kept. But one, however, looked like it had been left to fall apart. Upon closer inspection, she saw that the house had been abused. Pieces of bark were missing and there were words written everywhere on it but Navi couldn't make out what they said.

Deciding that she had come to the right place, Navi flew up to the door and went inside. Though what she wasn't expecting was for two blondes to get it on.

''Naruto!" The one cried out from below, definitely a Feminine voice. Her petite frame writhed under the blonde. His hands and lips nipped at her B-cup breasts.

''Lina!'' He cried out in ecstasy as there bodies kept on slapping together.

Navi fell to the ground and started twitching.

30 Minutes later after Navi recovered from her seizure.

''No way check it out…A light bulb with wings,'' Naruto said poking Navi with a stick.

''Naruto don't be a dumbass. It's obvious she's a pixie.''

''You're both wrong…give me that,'' Snatches stick away from Naruto. ''I'm a fairy you perverted dopes. What the hell do you think you two were doing?''

''Getting it on?'' Naruto asked with a hopeful smile as Navi Groaned. (See Adamwestlapdog abridged series.)

''Nevermind…the Great Deku Tree needs to see you…both of you.'' she noted as the two blondes shared a look.

''Why can't he come here?'' Naruto asked as he scratched the back of his head.

''You're kidding right?''

''Naruto the Great Deku Tree is a giant tree remember?'' Lina asked him as the blonde adorned a thoughtful look. Oh yeah…let's go.''

**3 hours later.**

''Great Deku tree were back,'' Navi announced.

**''What took you guys so long? I sent you out nearly three hours ago.'' **The Sage like and wisdom filled speech was gone.

''Well you see.''

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Flashback number 1

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''Dandahdandun!'' Naruto chimed as Lina opened a box, pulling out the Kokiri sword. ''You got the Kokiri sword.''

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Flashback number 2

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''Dandahdandun!'' Naruto chimed as Lina purchased a shield.

''You have acquired the Kokiri shield.

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Flashback end

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''Yeah he kept on doing that until I pulverized his spleen.'' Navi explained as Naruto rubbed his side.

''Yeah…I can taste my own blood…it doesn't taste like Rasberryaide…not at all.''

A crowd, nearly all the Kokiris had gathered.

''Okay seriously who caused the plague that's killing the forest now?'' Saria asked as she walked forward. This was like the third time this month the forest was dying. Her eyes took sight of Naruto and they softened. ''Hey there Naruto…nice day isn't it?''

''You mean besides the forest dying?'' he dryly remarked.

''Yeah that.''

Lina's eyes twitched as she grabbed Naruto possessively. Saria had Naruto all last week, friendship be damned. They agreed to share him but Saria was being an ass by always being kidnapped and such and taking up the 'blondes have more fun time' as it was called.

**''Hum Hhmn!'' **The Great Deku Tree cleared his throat.

''Right that…''

Enter Parasite Arachnid Gohma whom literally came out of fucking nowhere.

**''Where's my Crack! Who stole my crack! I want my crack!'''**

''I think not! I found it, it's mine.'' Naruto shouted, pulling out a katana and slashing one of Gohma's legs.

'**'Aaaaggggghhhh.'' **The creature roared as it shot out a mass of web which Naruto jumped over.

''Aaaaaaahhhhhh!'' Saria yelled as the creature caught her with one of it's legs.

''Saria!''

''**You have ten minutes to give me back my crack or the girl dies.''**

''Naruto!'' She yelled as the creature pulled her into the Deku Tree using it's webbing.

''Oh hell! Saria's boned…I already smoked it last night..''

''Naruto what are you waiting for. Saria is in danger…always because I wished for this to happen when she cut into our fun time doesn't mean I really wanted for it to happen.

''Oh relax…Saria's in no danger…'' he confidently remarked and folded his arms.

''But how can you…''

''I stuck a bomb note on it's body during my attack. I did that shit with the quickness so no one noticed. ''

''Uum Naruto?''

''Yeah Lina?''

''So…what does that have to do with saving Saria?'' she asked as Naruto's eyes widened.

''Oh hell…I didn't think that far ahead.''

15 minutes later.''It's a good thing I know Necromancy.'' Naruto commented.

**''Well done young ones…But it seems my life won't go back to normal after all.''**

''W-What? No but we killed Gohma you just have to get better Great Deku Tree we need you.'' Linika said.

**''Listen well Linika…As I was being eaten by Gohma I understood her intentions…She was under a spell herself…The one using this frighteningly evil power…Is a Dark King of the desert…His desire is to conquer Hyrule and make the Triforce his.''**

''Triforce?'' She asked in confusion.

Naruto began explaining the thing he logically should have mentioned before. ''It is the sacred treasure forced by the three goddesses… Nayru the Goddess of Wisdom and Element is Water…Blue Exotic Hair, a freak in the seats and best ass of the three…Din the Goddess of Power who values Passion and Element is Fire, a saucy mouth that gives great blow jobs and the heftiest pair or tits and Farore the Goddess of Courage who values diligence and Element is Wind and oh boy…that Ass. Together their power created the Triforce an all powerful artifact that came create a reflection of the wielders desire. A pure hearted person can create a world of wonder while those of evil will create a world filled with unimaginable horrors and evil.''

**''A horrible crisis is drawing near for Hyrule…that person must not touch the Triforce! However, with your courage surely you can kill his ambition…''** The GDK said.

''I…my dreams their of what to come aren't they? I can't do it… I can't fight someone so scary.''

''You aren't alone in this Linika…I came long ago in search of the Kokiri emerald to stop such a man…I'll be by your side every step of the way so you don't have to face such a person on your own…besides think of all the great new places we can screw!''

_Oh Goddesses! Hyrule is Doomed! _**''It is as he said…Never forget your own inner strength…Go out and venture into the world Linika…Now go to Hyrule castle and give the sacred stone of the forest to the Princess…The Kokiri Emerald.**'' He said as the Kokiri emerald appeared in Linika's Hand**. ''I …I believe in you…Please Linika.''**

''Alright…I understand.''

**''It's best that you make a shield out of my remains. It should protect you from very evil in your path…Navi, I ask of you to Assist Linika…Everyone, So Long.''** Insert Tearful goodbye.

At the Lost Woods Bridge none other then Saria was waiting for them.

''Oh, you're both leaving already.'' Saria said sadly.

''I'm afraid so Saria…I'm sorry...I should have told you two what I knew of sooner.'' Naruto guilty admitted.

''It's ok…promise me the both of you will return someday.''

''Of course.''

''It's a promise of a life time Saria.'' He said as he went over and hugged her. ''Take care of your self.'''

''I'' Sniff ''Will but before you guys go…I want you to have this Ocarina... Please take good care of it.'' She said handing to Linika. ''I only had one spare…''

''It's ok I understand…Why don't you teach us that song of yours before we go.''

''Sure,'' she agreed as it took them all but two minutes to go over the song.

''Now I have something else to leave you with Naruto,'' Saria said as she dropped on her knees.

''Helllll Yeaaaaah!"'

Lina scoffed and rolled her eyes…Typical. ''I'll show you how it's done!"' Lina said as she went over to join in.

Naruto felt at that moment he could die a happy man.

Navi only groaned and made comments about idiotic and perverted blonds.

''You'll get used to it,'' A fairy said flying up next to Navi.

''Hey…Aren't you Tatl?''

''Yep…and.''

''Who way to go Naruto! That's how you do it!'' A male fairy cheered from above.

''My Idiotic brother Tael…trust me…this is going to be a long journey.

At Hyrule Castle Princess Zelda stood on her bedroom balcony in her nightgown and watched as the sun set in sky. He though her body called for sleep the young princess didn't want to because of the dreams…the visions that would follow.

The images of dead bodies and a destroyed Hyrule was all too much. She could only hope that Naruto could find the one from her dreams and soon. Speaking of Naruto, her thoughts of him starting to become steamy. Then her hand started to find it's way up her dress.

Mean while- Hyrule Field a soft breeze blew across Hyrule Field. Tree limbs swayed and the grass bent slightly in the wind. To the west the sun began to set behind the mountains. The once blue sky was painted a beautiful multicolor of orange, purple and fiery red. As the sky grew darker the stars started to come out one by one, announcing that night was approaching fast and everyone should prepare themselves for bed.

Lina stood atop a small hill, her eyes wide with wonder at the scenery. Hyrule Castle could be seen in the distance and the smoking crown of Death Mountain slowly vanished into the approaching darkness.

"It's... beautiful," Lina whispered.

Navi nodded in agreement. "It is, isn't it?"

"I've always wondered how the sky would look during a sunset without a canopy of trees in the way. But... I never imagined something like this! I wish I could show this to Saria. She would love it."

"No doubt. It really is a shame she can't see it.''

''Well we could always draw her a picture,'' Naruto said as Tatl and Teal flew around his head. ''It'll take a day or so to get to castle town…we might as well start walking and find a good place to set camp,'' Naruto told them.

''Or we can go to that Ranch.'' Lina pointed out.

''Oh yeah…the farm girl lives there.''

''Farm girl?''

''Yeah…she's a nice girl…let's me Milk all I want.'' he said and didn't go on to explain anything.

''Huh?'' Lina titled her head in confusion. ''So you get free milk.''

''What? Oh no I mean she lets me play with her tits all I want. Those babies will grow into nice sized melons when she's older.''

''Damn is that all you do? Have sex?'' Navi asked in annoyance.

''Yeah pretty much.''

''Trust me dear…as long as it has Ass, Tits, Lips, and Breasts or otherwise a humanoid female creature with curves Naruto'll do it.''

''She ain't lying.''

At Lon Lon Ranch Naruto happily ran in with Lina close behind.

''Hey Malon I'm back and I brought a friend.'' he said as he ushered the blonde over to meet the cute red-haired farm girl.

''Oh hello I'm Malon and this is Epona and you are?''

''Just call me Lina...'' the blonde introduced herself as she sized up the competition.

''So what are you guys doing here?''

''We came to rest…That and see if your father is and to see if he can take us into town.''

''I'm afraid you just missed him he should be back by morning.''

''Aaw crap…Oh well looks like were stuck here for the day…Hey there Epona'' rubs Epona's Mane. ''I was thinking about something…About that song you told me about could you teach us. We currently only know one song and they say music passes the time.''

''Ok…''

A Day Later. ''That Ingo guy needs to remove the stick from his ass…Hard working or not it's no reason to be rude.'' Naruto said wile drinking tea.

''It's been hours since my dad has left…Could I ask you two a favor and go with me into Hyrule. I'm afraid I might not make it in time before nightfall and those strange skull creatures dad talk about might get me.''

''You can count on us Malon.''

''What she said.''

''Thank you…both of you.''

''But before that…I need two hours to um…get my gear ready,'' Shot a look towards Lina.

''I um…me too.''

''We'll be back,'' The two chimed as they went to the barn. The animals all started to panic from the strange albeit familiar noise which resembled there own calls in a way.


	2. The Rump on Castle Ground

Heroes Across Time Abridged

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I would like to get a shout out to Adamswestlapdog from Youtube. A lot of the material here is based off his abridged series, so credit goes where credit is due. But of course with a female link it couldn't be all that much.

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Warning

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This will be far more perverted and violent. Meaning random Lemons, some small, swearing and violence. No one under 18 should be reading this.

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Naruto x Harem

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''Excuse me have any of you seen a man with blue overalls and a red shirt by the name of Talon…He might have went to the castle?'' Naruto asked the guy.

''Wha-ha-ha! No kid but it does remind me of what this crazy guy did. Can you believe this guy was crazy enough to try to sneak into the castle to see Princess Zelda? All because of this idiot, they've tightened security at the -ha-ha!''

'' I wanted to see Princess Zelda! I avoided the guards... Swam through the moat... I was almost there when they caught me! I found a small drain hole on the right side of the castle that I thought I could sneak into, but I got stuck there.''

''What the hell!?'' Lina asked turning her head to Naruto.

''Huh…it appears they already been to the crack dealer. Let's try this alley.''

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Alley

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They walked down the ally. ''You know…you both my have to get a job.''

''Pfft…yeah right Tatl. I'm a homey of the earth. I live off the land. ''

''But she's right…you need rupees for the essential. Like Food, Water, Shelter, and Love.''

''Hhm your right…Love is very important. Nah who am I kidding. I spent most of my time riding Lina to…'' Whap. ''Oow…why'd you hit me Lina?''

''Excuse me sir…which direction is…'''

''Raaugh…aaggh..uggh.'' The Guard groaned reaching out, then passed out.

''He's dead.'' Navi announced.

'W-What! What did he die of?''

''Well over looking the knife wounds those look like some nasty looking dog fights. Oddly enough he smells like he was drinking his urine.''

''His own urine? Talking about gross.''

''I never said it was his.''

''Let's get to the castle now shall we?''

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30 Minutes Later

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Outside the castle Lina and Naruto found Talon.

''Hey…WAKE UP!''

''I rragh haah!"' The man with red shirt and blue overalls shot up. ''Why hello…Its-a-me…Talon.''

''Riiight…sure you are…hey Mario I…''

''What have I told you about-a that. ''

''Sorry…keep forgetting about the witness protection program. Anyway you're daughter Malon is in castle town.''

''Ohwa no…you let her out…I must get to her before the people see she has the devil's orange hair.'' Takes off.

''What…the…fuck…was…that?''

''Well Navi that was Mario…Nintendo's Mascot. I wander if Mario had gotten together with Peach, Malon would have been blonde…hhmm…Blonde,'' He thought, fantasizing about a blonde Malon.

''Uum hello…blonde right here.''

''Oh right…I have the certain urge for some Poon…you guys look away.'' He said to the fairies as he pulled Lina into a passionate kiss.

''Damn…that's 2 hours and 32 minutes. Longest they went without doing something.''

''Oh Din! Don't tell me your keeping time?'' Asked a exacerbated Tatl.

''And keeping course,'' Tael said proudly.

''Of what!? On second thought…I don't want to know.''

(Lemon coming up-This is remade from a lemon I previously had but deleted so I might accidently leave in the other girl's name in one of the passages by mistake. )

Naruto had laid Lina down onto the soft grass. He leaned in and breathed into her ear. ''Don't get too loudly my little nymph…there are guards nearby after all,'' He told her as she turned bright red.

''I know…just whip that big thing of yours out and put it inside me,''She whispered seductively, grabbing him by the neck and bringing his body crashing down upon hers.

Naruto gave her a smirk as his hand slipped up her clothing. Lina groaned as his fingers made his way to her core, stroking it. She bit her bottom lip to hold back a scream as he teased her swollen Labia. He continued teasing her for minutes on end driving her wild. Her body shook and twisting as the sensation poured through her.

Soon she got tired of teasing her and pulled down his pants and boxers as the tip of his swollen organ pressed against her entrance. He pushed inside her, causing them both to moan as he filled her to the brim. Lina locked her legs around him, pulling him in with all her might. She wanted to feel every inch of him feel her.

"Oh… oh god… Naruto…" Lina panted breathlessly, her voice rising.

"Lina…" He grunted in reply.

"F-faster." She gasped through shallow breaths. Naruto began to thrust faster feeling her walls enclose around him. . "Ahh! Unnh!" She screamed, arching against his body and clenching her fists around clumps of his hair.

"Oh… god!" He cried out as her walls constricted around him.

''That's it baby! Harder!'' She cried out as he continued to pound into her tight little body.

''Uum yeah fuck! So tight!''

They continued to move, kissing and rubbing all over the other's body for over an half hour. They cried out the other's name.

''Hey did you hear that!'' One guard said to the other.

''Yeah I think it came from over there.

''Oh shit! They heard us.''

''If…aah…stop I'll…oh Goddesses…kill you.'' She managed out.

''But…hhm shit.'' Whatever thought came to mind as he balls began to tighten.

''What the…'' The guard fell back, unconscious with a nose bleed.

''LINA!''

''NARUTO!''

''OH BROTHER!''-Guess who? Hint-It's not Tatl.

Both Blondes laid there, sweating and satisfied.

"That was amazing," Lina gushed, wrapping her arms around Naruto's neck and planting a smooch on his nose.

''Yeah,'' Naruto said as he pulled out. '''Well times to wasting let's go see the princess.'' He said leading her to the castle.

''Uum Naruto…clothes!'' She pointed out.

''Oh right…I knew that,'' He said sheepishly as the other sweat dropped. Then they continued there way to the castle.


	3. Burning Passion

Heroes Across Time Abridged

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Naruto x Harem

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Story Start

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''You think for palace guards they be more organized.'' Lina commented as they walked from behind the last ledge past the last guards.

''Yeah well weed tends to do that to you.'' Naruto simply responded.

''Weed?'' Lina asked, unsure of what Naruto meant.

''You know…those plants behind your house.'' he reacted.

''But I thought those were herbs…I use that in my cooking all the time.'' Lina exclaimed, wide-eyed.

''Really…that explains why I've been so bloody hungry. '' He said as they walked through the arc into the garden.

''Who…Naruto?'' The princess started to say as she turned around recognizing her friend.

''It's me Zelda I've returned just like I promised I would.'' He said as he walked up to her.

''Naruto…I've missed you.''

''And I you.'' He said as he pulled her into a tight hug. Her head rested against his chest as they stayed there for what seem like a minute.

''Wow looks like those two are pretty close.'' Tael said.

''Aaw it's kind of cute.'' Tatl teased.

''Yeah um'' Lina said clearing her throat. ''We have other things to do.''

''Oh!''

''Right!'' They both said break apart blushing.

_'Someone's Jealous.' _Navi telepathically told Lina.

_''Bite my light bulb with wings.' _

'Is that person from my dreams?'' Zelda asked Naruto who nodded.

''Yeah…I test driven her several times. If only she was a few inches taller.'' Naruto found himself promptly cut off when Zelda smacked his arm.

''Oow…Zelda.'' he whined, rubbing his arm.

''Not that dream…the other one.'' she stated with a faint blush on her face.

''Oh…well then yes…same thing.'' he flippantly remarked.

''I swear… where are my manners…'' she remarked as she was about to adress Lina.

''Not here apparently.''

''Hi-yah,'' Zelda then a spin kick at Naruto who duck and fled.

Throwing her hair back. ''Whoa ok…let's try that again…Hello there…I am Princess Zelda.'' She greeted the other blonde.

_'That bitch is crazy.' _'Yeah I'm Linika…j-just call me Lina.''

''Uum aren't we forgetting someone?'' Tatl asked.

''Right…those are Tatl and Tael my fairies and that's Navi Lina's fairy…there not really that important.''

''Hey!

''Fuck you Naruto!''

''Don't ask for help later on.''

''…Anyway we brought the Spiritual Stone of the Forest. It would be best if you explain to Lina your dream.''

''Very well…I had a dream...In the dream; dark storm clouds were billowing over the land of Hyrule... But suddenly, a ray of light shot out of the forest parted the clouds and lit up the ground... The light turned into a figure holding a green and shining stone, followed by a fairy and along side them was a golden fox with nine tails…I know this is a prophecy that someone would come from the forest...Yes, I thought you might be the one…''

''Uum ok for the most part where would I find a golden fox? I mean kitsune are rare in this world let alone a golden one.''

''That's where I come in.'' Transforms into miniature golden Kyuubi. ''There's a lot I haven't told you but I will in time…Now I think it's time we talk about the sacred realm right Zelda?''

''Right…The legend goes like this...The three goddesses hid the Triforce containing the power of the gods somewhere in Hyrule. The power to grant the wish of the one who holds the Triforce in his hands. If someone with a righteous heart makes a wish, it will lead Hyrule to a golden age of prosperity...If someone with an evil mind has his wish granted, the world will be consumed by evil...That is what has been told... So, the ancient Sages built the Temple of Time to protect the Triforce from evil ones. That's right... The Temple of Time is the entrance through which you can enter the Sacred Realm from our world. But the entrance is sealed with a stone wall called the Door of Time. And, in order to open the door, it is said that you need to collect three Spiritual Stones. And another thing you need...is the treasure that the Royal Family keeps along with this legend... The Ocarina of Time!''

''Yeah that should include anything that wasn't mentioned…You got all that right Lina?''

''Yeah I got the gist of it.''

''That's great! I forgot to tell you... I was spying through this window just now...The other element from my dream...the dark clouds... I believe they symbolize...that man in there! Will you look through the window at him?'' Zelda asked them.

''Yes…''

''Can you see the man with the evil eyes?''

''Yeah…That's the one Naruto…From my dreams.''

_''Aaaw…I wanted the dream where Naruto and I were in the hot tub.''' The draw bridge to the castle comes down. A woman and girl on a horse ride by. ''Damn…I'm having lesbianism tendencies again. Damn Naruto and his Icha Icha Yuri cruise yard manuscript. ''_

_A green ginger man rides up on a black stallion. ''You know…you're kind of cute''_

_''!''_

The others jumped back. ''What the hell are you screaming for Lina!''

''Oh right sorry…I got confuse for a second and thought I was in adamwestlapdog's legend of Zelda abridged series. ''

''So you've been dream cheating on me again…I could never forgive you unless…''

''For the last time I'm not letting you fuck me in the ass. I saw what happened to Fernie after words. She hasn't been able to shit right for a week.''

''Huh-hhm,'' Zelda cleared her throat. The blush evident.

''Oh right….sorry Zelda go on.''

''Right…now as I was saying…That evil man is Ganondorf the leader of the Gerudos and the first born male of their tribe in nearly a century. He doesn't fool us sworn alliance to the king or not…Dark clouds covered the land in Zelda-Hime's dream…That and I can sense the evil within him.'' He finished as the three of them back up.

''The king doesn't believe Zelda about her dream or even my intuition…Some people refuse to believe what could be and is a potential prophecy.''

''Right…What Ganondorf is after must be nothing less than the Triforce of the Sacred Realm. He must have come to Hyrule to obtain it! And, he wants to conquer Hyrule...no, the entire world! Lina…Along with my self and Naruto we are the only ones who can protect Hyrule! Please help us!''

''Of course you expect me to say no.''

''Thank you!''

''The three of us are the only ones that stand in his way…The ocarina of time stay safe in Zelda's hand…We have the Kokiri emerald meaning theirs only four more treasures to go…Fire…Water…Death…and Spirit…We must gather them in order to stop him.'' Naruto said.

''One more thing... Take this letter... I'm sure it will be helpful to you.'' She said handing Lina the letter. ''I wish you well on your journey.''

''We will be back soon Zelda with all the treasures you can count on us.''

''I do…I believe in you…both of you.'' She added quickly as her cheeks held a twinge of pink. ''My attendant Impa will guide you and Naruto out of the castle Lina I wish you well.''

''I wish you well as well Princess Zelda…I won't fail.'' She said as the two of them went over to the court yard entrance.

''It has been some time Naruto of the Kitsune…''

''That it has Impa of the Sheikah.''

''You two youths are courageous…The journey you both will partake is far dangerous then you can imagine…I can only offer my assistance in minuscule ways. My role in the Princess's dream was to teach a melody to the one from the forest. This is an ancient melody passed down by the Royal Family. I have played this songfor Princess Zelda as a lullaby ever since she was a baby...There is mysterious power in these notes. Now listen carefully...

(Insert Zelda's Lullaby)''Every moment of time is important…To make use of time is wise but to rush can only lead to failure…What you make of your time is the difference between success and failure…I will lead you two out of the castle and point you in the direction of your next journey.''

Arriving at Hyrule Field. ''Take a good look at that mountain. That is Death Mountain, home of the Gorons. They hold the Spiritual Stone of Fire. At the foot of Death Mountain you will find my village, Kakariko. That is where I was born and raised. You should talk to some of the villagers there before you go up Death song I just taught you has some mysterious power. Only Royal Family members are allowed to learn this song. Remember, it will help to prove your connection with the Royal Family. The Princess is waiting for you to return to the castle with the stones. All right. We're counting on you!'' She said as she tosses a Deku Nut to the ground. By the time that its light fades, she is no longer present.

''To the west of here is Kakariko village and as you can see it's not that far. We should rest up for the day and plan our strategy. The trail we will walk is called Death Mountain and from my experience places are called by their names for a reason.'' He said as he led her to the village.

''Uum Naruto can I ask you something?''

''Yeah sure why not?''

''How l you ever…you know…with Zelda?''

''You mean had sex?''

''Yeah…''

''Oh hell yeah…Missionary, Cowgirl, Reverse cowgirl, doggy style, against the wall, in the lake, against the wall in a lake, in a tree, hell I even almost tea bagged her once but…''

''Ok, ok that's enough…geeze sorry I asked.''

''Aaw…is my Lina jealoust.''

''What of her…''

''It's not because she has bigger titties is it?'' He asked as he back flipped and dodged Lina's kick. ''Ha you missed me!''

Now if only he saw her fling the Kokiri knife at him. fluent in Japanese. ''

''I see…''

Naruto, being held up by Lina limped to Kakariko village. There they were greeted by one of the villagers.

''Hello there, kids…Zelda's attendant, the great Impa, opened this village to the common people. We have only a small population now, but someday this place will be as lively as Hyrule Castle Town! Oh, yes! It will!'' The guard said rather loudly.

''People love to talk as you can see.'' Naruto told Lina ''I don't know why but they see a person and they spill out their life story but not everyone is like that. It's best to listen to the gist of what they have to say and see if you can learn anything important.''

''You kids must be new to the village I am Sabooru.''

''Names Naruto and this is Lina…''

''Hello…''

''Nice to meet you kids… Have you seen Mr. Dampé, who lives in the graveyard up ahead? It's Sunset right now, so he's probably asleep in his don't you go out onto the field and kill some time?'' He said but felt annoyed as Naruto pulled Lina towards the direction of the death mountain trail.

''Uum ok why did he?''

''Like I said people out here tell you all kinds of non-sensible and unusual things. You'll get used to it after awhile. This village used to be a private village for the Sheikah but Impa opened it to everyone. The Sheikah are scarce in this day and age and their was supposedly be a young woman who took residence here but enough about that…I'll be right back.''

''What was that about? Had a sudden urge to catch the chicken?'' Lina asked as she couldn't help but smirk.

''Yeah laugh it up…I just scored us a fifth bottle. Since all the others are filled you never know when you need an empty bottle…I have a sudden urge to enter that house for some reason.''

''Uum Naruto…Death Mountain…Sacred Stone of Fire ring any bells?''

''Two actually…Side quest Lina often lead to wonderful items trust me I know what I'm talking about. Follow me and you'll see.''

At the House of Skulltula.

''This place is dark and creepy Naruto and theirs nothing here.''

''I sense something here.''

''You know what I sense…Dust lot's of dust and cobwebs.'' She said as a massive spider like figure drops from the sealing. ''Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!''

''Aah Kami tone it down.'' He said holding his ears.

''G-G-G-G-Giant Spider…''

''Righhht…I assumed your cursed because I see a partial human face and a arm and that's just not normal...That and I can see like four more of you on the ceiling''

''We all look like this because of the spider's curse. If every Spider of the Curse in the entire world were destroyed, the curse would be broken. When you destroy a Spider of the Curse, a token of their crystallized spirit will appear. Of course, this is just our dream... You don't have to do it if you don't want to... If you break the curse on my family, we will make you very rich...''See Lina I was right , this man here is going to make us rich…Oh by the way here.'' Shows 15 golden Skulluta emblems. ''I like to collect things who knew they would come in handy.''

And after several grueling hours.

''Here you can have it.'' Gives Lina the Adult's Wallet and 200 rupees.

''Naruto…I…''

''It's nothing really I'm plenty rich and besides were in this together…besides I already got a better wallet anyway.''

''Right…I still think you shouldn't have just killed and robbed the bodies. That was a horrible thing to do.''

''Meh who cares…Now to mow that guy at the gate and to continue our journey.''

''What? No more side quest?''

''For now…unless you want to repeat what happened with the Sun's Song.

Naruto quickly flashbacked to a memory.

_''Get'em off! Get'em off! Get'em off!"' Lina screamed as a Zombie have hopped on her and looked what looked like…humping._

_''Just relax lina…I mean he doesn't seem to have a penis so he can't stick anything in.''_

_''NARUTO GET HIM THE FUCK OFF ME THIS INSTANT!''_

''I just remembered something two things actually.'' - Naruto

One Happy Mask Side quest later.

''I still can't believe you borrowed those strange looking masks. (Keaton and Mask of Truth)''

''Hey they called out to me besides I did everything I wanted to do and it didn't even take that long just a day…Besides we also got a Hylian Shield from one of the graves which is quite a stroke of luck…Aaw crap.''

Sign: No passage without a Royal Decree!''The road is closed beyond this point! Can't you read the sign over there? Eh? Oh, I see. You're just a couple kids, and you can't read ha hah!''

_'Urge to kill…rising.'_

''Excuse me sir but we need to get through to here.''

''Sorry kids no can do I'll loose my job if I let a couple of youngsters through.''

''Lina the note.'' He said as Lina presents Zelda's letter to the guard.

'' Oh, this is... This is surely Princess Zelda's handwriting! Well, let's see... Hmmm... OK…''_"The two you see before you are Naruto and Lina who are under my orders to partake a quest to save Hyrule. ''_

'_'_Wah ha ha ha hah! What kind of funny game has our Princess come up with now?''

''So are you going to let us through or what?''

''OK, OK, all right. You can go now... Just be careful, Mr. Hero! Wah hah ha ha hah!'' He opens the gate. ''By the way, Mr. Hero. And Miss Heroine... If you're going to climb Death Mountain, you should equip a proper shield! It is an active volcano, after all! If you go back to Hyrule Castle Town Market, you should check outthe Bazaar. They sell the shield you need there. Tell 'em I sent you and they should give you a special discount! If you think you're good to go already, don't worry about , I'd like to ask a favor of you. No, I don't expect you to do it just because of the great tip I just gave you! I'm just asking! Have you been to the Happy Mask Shop that just opened in the Hyrule Castle Town Market? Everyone is talking about it! My little boy pesters me for a popular mask, but I don't have time to go there...So, could you go and get the mask for me next time you are in the Market? If you don't feel like it, that's OK, but... Well, I have no choice, this is my job…''

''It wouldn't happen to be this mask would it?'' He said pulling out Keaton Mask.

' That's it that's the mask…Wow you two really are heroes my kid is going to love this thank you both.''

''Yeah your welcome.''

''By the way a talking owl lives at the top of the mountain. You can ask for his aide if you want to get down.''

Back at the castle.

''Naruto…what are you doing here?''

''Zelda there's a talking owl at the top of the mountain…A talking owl…I can't climb up there knowing there's a talking owl…that's far too dangerous…I can't do it.''

''Will you get out of here.''

Back at the Death Mountain Trail.''So what did she say?''

''Damn Zelda and promising not to give me tickle and blow if we didn't go through with it.''

''Dude! What the hell is tickle and blow?''

''Trust me Tael your heart would give out if I told you.''

''Didn't you say you borrowed the keaton and Mask of Truth?''

Hop

Hop

Hop

''What the hell is that suppose to be?'' He asked as Tatl flew over it and flew back.

''It's a Red Tektite a spider monster that attacks by hoping on you. It's on the slow side so you can outrun it but a slash from a bladed weapon should kill it.''

''After you.'' He said extending his arm out.

' 'How gentlemanly of you.'' She said pulling out the Kokiri sword and bringing it down on the creatures eye causing it to shriek as it dissolved into some kind of green gas and fell to pieces.

''Wow anti-climatic at its best.'' He said as he ran forward did a front flip and landed on another one.

''I give it an eight.''

''Aah who asked you anyway.'' He said leaning on what looked to be a rock. ''You…holy crap.'' He said as it got up and revealed to be some rocky brown skinned creature.'' I swear to Kami I didn't know…If your looking for retribution take Lina instead and spare me.'' He said pointing at his companion.

''Hey!'' She cried out indignantly.

''Hello it isn't often we get visitors…I am one of the Gorons, the stone-eating people who live on Death Mountain.''

''Huh that's interesting I heard quite a bit about your people…So why are you out here?''

''Over there…Look at that huge boulder over there! It blocks the entrance to the Dodongo's Cavern, which was once a very important place for us Gorons... But one day, many Dodongos suddenly appeared inside the cavern. It became a very dangerous place! On top of that, a Gerudo man in black armor used his magic to seal the entrance with that boulder! If you want to hear more Goron gossip, head up to our city! Goron City is just a little way up on the trail. It won't take much longer to get there, even on foot.''

''Right thanks, come on Lina.'' The two made their way up the mountain.

''Hey!''

''What is it Navi?''

''I sense the presence of a great fairy at the top of the mountain.''

''The entrance is blocked will have to come back another time.'' He said deactivating his Kekki Gekkai. ''Let's continue on to Goron City.'' He said as they continued to climb the mountain when they got what seemed to be the entrance. They saw a figure their which was similar to goron but it was a sea and for the shocking part she looked almost human but she looked sad. ''Hello I take it this is the entrance to Goron city.''

''Huh?…Yeah it is…It's been awhile since anyone but the royal messenger has come by.''

''Yeah well what were here for is important.''

''The name is Naruto and this is Lina though the thing is why you seem so sad?''

''A number of things really…With the entrance of Dodongo cavern blocked our people are starving.''

''I see'' He said but he could sense by her tone that wasn't all. ''So mind telling us your name?''

''Daria…''

''Well Daria could you take us to your leader.''

''Uum ok.''

_Goron City (All Areas are five times the size they were in the game)_

''Holy hell this place is freaking huge…So I take it since were all the way up here that the room at the bottom in the center is where the head Goron stays?''

''You are correct Naruto…''

''Another outsider just like before…'' One Goron said in a hush tone.

''Go Away outsider we don't need your kind here!'' Another snarled at them.

''Whoa what's the deal?''

''Maybe it's because of Ganondorf.''

Naruto: ''That would make sense.''

''It figures that you would have brought outsiders.''

''They didn't do anything wrong their not the ones that…'' Daria started to say before she was interrupted.

''Quiet half-Goron this doesn't concern you.''

Naruto said Lina tense at this obviously remembering her days as an outsider. ''What's the deal? Why do you treat one of your own as such?''

''Look at her…She doesn't have the build of most Goron and can only lift a couple of tons any real Goron can lift several easy…If your not strong in this society then you die.''

''Is that it? That's the dumbest thing I've heard of…So she can't lift as much so she's not consider one of you…If your so strong let's see you take me on then.''

''Naruto don't…''

''It won't take me long.'' He assured her.

''Human you picked the wrong Goroooooooooooon!'' The Goron yelled as Naruto sent him flying in a matter of seconds.

''That didn't take long anyone else?'' He asked as the crowd dispersed. ''If they give you anymore trouble just send a message.''

''Thank you.''

As Naruto and Lina walked around and asked the other Gorons where their leader was they got a various amount of responses.

''Oh? We don't get many visitors way up here. Where are you from? The forest? What's a "forest"? Eh? It's where a lot of "trees" and "plants" grow? Now I'm even more confused! Nothing grows around here besides the Bomb Flowers... We don't have "seeds" or "nuts" around here either. Even Deku Sticks are very scarce around here!''

Some more time later."Spiritual Stone? That red stone that was lighting up our city? Big Brother Darunia took it away. Then, he shut himself up in his room and won't come out. Since then, it feels like all the lights in the city have gone out... Everyone seems so...depressed.''

''Big Brother has shut himself up in his room saying, "I will waiting here for the Royal Family's messenger!"

After talking to the Gorons.''Ok it's safe to say that we need a message that proves were from the royal family or a messenger I should say.''

''What about the Royal song?''

''You mean Zelda's Lullaby?…Why not it couldn't hurt.''

''Here we go.'' Lina stated as she pulled out the Ocarina and played Zelda's Lullaby.

''What the heck! Who are you? When I heard the song of the Royal Family, I expected their messenger had arrived, but...you're just a bunch of kids! Has Darunia, the big boss of the Gorons, really lost so much status to be treated like this by his Sworn Brother, the King? Now, I'm REALLY angry! Get out of my face, now!''

''Whoa calm down first of all why does everyone refer to kids? You know what screw it the question is why are you so pissed?''

''Ancient creatures have infested the Dodongo's Cavern! We've had a poor harvest of our special crop, Bomb Flowers! Starvation and hunger because of the rock shortage! But... This is a Goron problem! We don't need any help from strangers!''

Naruto and Lina step aside.

''Ok well so far…were boned.''

''Why did I ask you to teach me your language and phrases.'' She said face palming.

''For various reasons…Well if a song got us in maybe another song will help…I don't know why it's just…''

''Well do you think the…''

''Ok not the one we just…Saria's song would be perfect I mean it's fluid and it just gives the vibe of a forest.''

''Ok here we go the…Saria's Song.''

''Oh! Oh-oh! ''Starts Dancing' C'mon! Come on! Come on! Come on! '' Starts shaking arms. ''HOT! What a hot beat! WHOOOOAH! YEEEEAH! YAHOOO!'' Stops dancing after a few more seconds. '' Heeey! What a nice tune! Just like that, my depression is all gone! Something just came over me! I suddenly wanted to dance like crazy! I am Darunia! I'm the big boss of the Gorons! Was there something you wanted to ask me about?''

''Yeah were here for the Spiritual Stone of Fire.'' Naruto stated

''We really need it.'' Lina followed up with.

''What? You want the Spiritual Stone of Fire, too? The Spiritual Stone of Fire, also known as the Goron's Ruby, is our race's hidden treasure... But hold on…I'm not going to give it to you that easily, if you want it so badly... Why don't you go destroy the monsters inside of the Dodongo's Cavern and prove you're a real man?''

Lina Clears throat.

''Ooh and real woman sorry about that… That way, everybody will be happy again! If you do it, I will give you both anything you want, even the Spiritual Stone!''

''Hey monster busting is my game…Or well something like that.'' Naruto corrected. ''Anyway I have something for you but I only have one.''

''Well if it has something to do with increasing strength I would give it to Lina…No offense I believe in equality for the sexes and all that good stuff but I have been working out you know.''

''Yeah I'll keep that in mind.'' She murmured.

''Very well here take this…'' Gives Lina Goron bracelet.'' With this even a young girl or fella can pock up a bomb flower.''

''Goddess forgive me but if those kids hit me with a bomb flower one more time I'm going to mow them over.'' The Big Goron muttered.

''Hahahahah…'' Wheeze ''Oh man'' Let out a breath of air. ''That was great.''

''Did we really have to blow him up five times?'' Lina asked him.

''Really I doubt the princess would improve,'' Spoke Tatl.

''No…No we did not now on to Dodongo tower.''

''You mean cavern.'' Navi corrected him.

''You're going on the list.'' He replied.

After some time they arrived to Dodongo Cavern.

''This wall seems to be in the way maybe we can get through If you guys use a bomb flower.'' Navi sagely stated.

''Alright let's blow some shit up.'' Naruto suggested.

''I really worry about you sometimes.'' Tatl told him.

''Huh this chamber is large…I would say it's an Antechamber and the gaps are quite large and the smell of sulfur indicates lava.'' He said as he picked up Lina bridal style, while copping a feel on her ass.

''W-What are you d-doing?'' She stuttered blushing slightly.

''Hold on!'' He yelled as he ran forward and jumped to the large island in the middle. ''Holy crap!'' He said as he jumped over the light blue beam from the beamos and jumped to the right side of the chamber. ''Dude this is what I'm talking about at this rate …Wait why does seem like an accomplishment?''

''Who cares let's just go.''

Some time later. ''Hey Lina come on drop down I'll catch you!'' He yelled up to the girl who dropped with a yell. ''See it wasn't that bad.'' He said when he caught her.

''**RRRRRRAAAAARGGGGGGHHHHHHH!''**

''I think were going to need a bigger sword.''

''We whose we?''

''Naruto!''

''Ok ok fine here I go!'' Runs up and jumps and slashes at Dodongo only for his Katana to break. ''What the hell!'' He yelled landing on the other side.

''Navi what happened?''

''I've heard legends about how tough ancient lizard's skin are. They can be as tough as diamond meaning were going to have to damage it from the inside.''

''Yeah well which one of you three want to volunteer?'' He asked the Fairies. ''I'll send you in with a bomb.'' He said jokingly much to the fairies annoyance as he jumped over Dodongo's flame breath.

''Oh crap this can't be good.'' Winces ''My Spine!''

''Definitely not good…Wait a minute.'' Sees a bomb flower and picks it up. ''Hey you stupid lizard over here.''

''I see…Were sending in Navi then…We will remember your brave sacrifice.''

''I'm just going to pretend I didn't here that.'' She responded in annoyance.

''Take this!'' She yelled tossing the bomb in Dodongo's mouth as it exploded. The creature roared and started to roll towards her.

''LINA QUICK GET IN A CORNER AND CROUCH!'' He yelled to his fellow blonde who followed his instructions to the letter as Dodongo rolled and missed damaging her. ''I got it…Stay like that Lina…'Explosion.'' He casted on the creature when it stopped rolling and blew it into the pit of Lava. The two blondes moved to each other's side and watched as the creature carcass was melting into the Magma as it quickly cooled. ''Let's Bounce.''

Outside the Cavern Darunia drops down from above. He pats Lina and Naruto on their heads, which…Gorons being rather forceful…knocks them to the ground. 'It's me, Darunia! Well done! Thanks to you, we can once again eat the delicious rocks from the Dodongo's Cavern until our stomachs burst! What a wild adventure! It will make an incredible story... I can't believe that the Dodongos suddenly appeared in such great numbers! And that big rock blocking the cave... All this trouble must have been caused by that Gerudo thief, Ganondorf! He said, "Give me the Spiritual Stone! Only then will I open the cave for you!" You, on the other hand, risked your life for us... Kids, I like you! How's about you and I become Sworn Brothers? No, there's no big ceremony involved! Just take this as a token of our friendship!'' He said much to Lina's annoyance but decided to let it go.

''Sweet that's two and that leaves.'' Sigh ''Three more.'

''Brother! Sister! You'll keep brushing up on your skills as you travel, won't you? You should go see the Great Fairy on top of Death Mountain! She will power you up! Hey, everybody! Let's see off our newest members Two Gorons fall into the area. 'You did great! How 'bout a big Goron hug, Brother? You too as well sister.''

''Let's Bounce!'' Naruto yelled as they ran up the mountain.

At the Great Fairy Fountain.

''Uum Naruto you…Just hold on.'' Lina blew out the fire on his shirt.

:''Thanks.'' He said as his eye twitched. He then punches the barrier opening the fountain. ''Ow!''

''…''

''Your enjoying this aren't you?''

''I be lying if I say no.''

''Just…Just play the song.''

''Alright alright geesh.''

Zelda's Lullaby

Insert also Great fairy appearance.

''Welcome Naruto! Linika! I am the Great Fairy of Power! I'm going to grant you a sword technique…but first I need to borrow this one.'' The Great Fairy grabs Naruto and they disappear.

''SUNAVABITCH!''

Naruto found himself tied up to a bed and stripped naked. He wasn't too concerned at first until the great fairy walked in with a crotch-less dominatrix outfit.

8 hours later. The Great fairy and a half looking dead Naruto returns. The noise of the fairy's laughter woke up Lina.

''Ooh man…what took you guys so long?''

''W-Water.'' Naruto croaked out.

''I have blessed you both with my gift…By channeling your energy into your blade you can use a magic induced spin attack but be wary on how much magical energy you have because if you run out your actions will be replaced by life energy which can have lethal consequences… Next time you're in their neighborhood, you should drop in on friend of mine who lives by Hyrule Castle. She'll surely grant you another new power! When battle has made you weary, please come back to see me.'' With that she disappeared.

''Naruto what's wrong?'' She asked as her compassionate side came out.

''Used…and…Abused.'' He managed out.

''I see…'' her hand shot to his crotch.

''Aahaah whaa.'' He cried out as Lina pulled it out.

''Jesus it feels…raw…''

''Need…relief.''

''Oh lord…will wait outside.''

''But sis I want to watch!'' Tael whined.

Whap. Tatl hit Tael who fell to the ground and dragged him out. Navi just blinked and followed her violent in comparison counter part. While Lina went about healing the only way.

Two days later at Hyrule Castle Town.

''Come on Naruto pleeeeeeeeeeeease.'' Lina said giving him the puppy dog look. ''I gave you a blow job after what that fairy did to you remember? If I didn't you would have been in pain for the rest of the day.''

''Iie…really puts the expressions 'ride someone raw' to full meaning…but since you did help me I'll by you the little bugger if it will make you happy.''

''Yay!''

''After we get the Spirit Stone of Water.''

''Aaw come on.'' She pouted giving him the puppy dog look.

''Look it's a dragon they breathed fire and chances are we might have to go under water or something and well you get what I'm saying…I know the guy I'll pay him to take the dragon off market and take care of him stuff like that.''

''Thanks Naruto!'' She said as she hugged him. A few seconds later she pulled off him leaving them both blushing.

''W-Welcome…Let's go see Zelda and see if she can point us in the next direction.''


	4. The Very Wet Adventure

Heroes Across Time Abridged

0000

Story Start

000000

''Come on let's go get your boob transplants,'' Naruto said as they made their way to Zora's fountain.

''You know what...fuck you Naruto! Oh look a sign.'' Lina pointed out.

Strong currents ahead be careful not to fall in.

''I rather ignore signs unless the word danger is painted in big red Letters… know what I mean?'' He asked her.

''You're a tard!''

''Hoo hoo! Looks like you've gotten bigger and stronger already, Linika! You as well Naruto.''

''_For the love of all that is holy not him again…Why me Jebus what did I do?'' _Naruto inwardly cried.

''Just ahead lies Zora's Domain. The Zoras serve Hyrule's Royal Family by protecting this water source. Their door will not open for anyone except those who have some connection with the Royal them hear the melody of the Royal Family! Hooo hoo hooooot!'' Flies away.

''I never get why he tells us shit we already know along with other things such as up c or down c…What the fuck are those? How the hell…''

''Let's go before you have a stroke or something.''

''I'm going to remember you said that.''

''Remember it, write it down, take a picture, I don't give a fuck.''

A man, is sitting on the ground while eating Bean Man: ''Chomp chomp chomp... How about some Magic Beans? They aren't selling very well... How about... 10 Rupees for one piece?''

''Let me guess another side quest in the making?''-Lina

''Your making fun of me now but trust me in this type of situations side quest help. I used to be like you then I got my ass kicked and Kuiinshi never let me hear the end of it talking about how I was under leveled and shit like that?''

''Under leveled?''

''It's a term my ass-hole of a mentor Kuiinshi and I would only understand but I'll explain it to you someday.''

''If you want to plant beans, go around and look for soft chomp chomp.'' The bean man said.

Several agonizing purchases later. ''Oh, too bad! We're sold out! Chomp chomp...What? Oh, these beans are not for sale!''

''Ok now we can go?'' Lina asked him bored out of her mind.

Seven minutes later.''Ok explain to me again why…''

''Were here.'' He said pointing at the little patch of ground with the Royal Emblem on it. ''Is this all I'm good for playing the royal song.'' Lina asked Naruto in annoyance.

''If I answer truthfully will you hit me?'' Whap ''Oow…Now my left arm is tender and will be a weakness for the next boss thanks a lot Lina.''

''Pssh whatever…you bitch.''

Zora's Domain. ''Who are you? We are the Zoras, the proud aquatic people!''

''I'm Lina this is ass-hole is Naruto we come here as an errand from the Royal Family.''

''So...you say you have some connection with Hyrule's Royal Family...Well, what do you want from us?''

''We need to speak to King Zora it's of up most importance.'' Naruto said in a sagely tone.

''King Zora's throne is up there… If you get lost then ask around.''

''Ok shouldn't be that hard.''

''So what do you think the king will be like?'' Lina asked him curiously.

''50 rupees says he fat.'' Naruto said as he knew the bet was unfair thanks to his knowledge.

'Your on.''

''Excuse me outsiders have you seen the princess.''

''Princess?''

''We haven't found Princess Ruto even though some of us have searched as far as Lake Hylia...All of the water in Hyrule flows from Zora's Fountain. That water flows through Zora's River, which eventually reaches Lake Hylia to the south.''

''I see…Hey Lina I already figured out the obstacle for this gem…For the Kokiri emerald we had to kill Gohma and for Goron's ruby we killed Dodongo so if we find the princess we will without a doubt get the Zora's Sapphire.''

''Wouldn't history suggest we fight another enemy? Maybe an aquatic one?''

''Must you jinx us…Now come on.''

A couple of hours later.''Whoa look at the size of this one 10 lbs. the best yet.

''Well so far we won a silver scale that allows us to breathe under water longer and now we been fishing…Weren't we suppose to be finding the princess.''

''I got that covered…Apparently she's inside the fish lord something or another Jabu Jabu.''

''This is the sort of thing you inform people ahead of time.'' Navi said flying around Naruto's head who was trying to shoo her away.

''Ok seriously all of Hyrule is in danger and instead of saving it YOUR WASTING TIME FISHING.'' Tatl yelled at him.

''Wasting time my ass how do you expect us to get inside? I got several fishes and were going to use those to allow us inside of the fish monster lord thing since without a doubt he eats fish…So tell me Lina, Tatl, Navi. how were we suppose to get inside of her since the note I found said he swallowed her whole?''

''You know what…Let's just go ok.'' The three of them replied annoyed.

''Hey whatever you say...At least your on my side.'' He said to sleeping Tael who was rested on his shoulder. ''Lazy bastard…'' Naruto muttered.

At Hyrule Lake. ''Huh that's odd… my useless character senses are tingling.'' Naruto said as his eyes widen suddenly.

''Oh Goddesses no!'' Lina shouted out.

''Why are you…fuck my life.''

''Hoot Hoot what are you two doing here? You've come a long way to get up here...Linika, this is a beautiful lake full of pure, clear water. At the lake bottom there is a Water Temple used to worship the water spirits. The Zoras are guardians of the temple. Hoo hoo. The Zoras come from Zora's Domain in northeast Hyrule. An aquatic race, they are longtime allies of Hyrule's Royal Family. I heard that only the Royal Family of Hyrule can enter Zora's Domain. Hoo hoo! I'm on my way back to the castle. If you want to come with me, hold on to my talons!'' After about two minutes he leaves.

''Finally I thought he was never going to leave.'' _Note to self…buy sniper rifle._

''Hey check this out… There is writing on this stone.''

Writing : When water fills the lake, shoot for the morning light.

''Huh that's weird…''

''I doubt a seed from a slingshot would work. Let's Go to that fish lord thing now.''

3 days later- Pursued Destination.''Finally that fucking fat bastard got out of the way.'' Naruto picks up a stick. '' I wonder what would happen if I hit it with a stick?'' Naruto pokes Jabu-Jabu.

''You have problems.''

''Shut up Tatl...I didn't ask you. ''

''Naruto stop acting like you have ADD.''

''Fine Lina...next time you,'' Swings bottle of fish around and it crashes on the ground. ''Damnit! Look what you made me do..''

''I didn't do a damn thing...I just thought about...''Fish opened it's mouth and inhales them.

''hooooooooly craaaaap.''

''Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah''

Both get swallowed hole by vacuum of creature's breath.

Inside Jabu Jabu.''Whoa this is weird…Why the hell are their enemies inside of a giant fish? This is bullshit!'' Naruto said throwing a stick at a jelly fish only for it to bounce off.

''Come on let's not spend anymore time then we have to.'' Pulls out slingshot and fire a bullet at jelly ray but it has no effect. ''What the…''

''It's a jelly ray there invulnerable to most melee attacks and your seeds won't work,'' Navi pointed out

''We need some sort of enchanted item or something.'' Tatl told them.

''What about that boomerang King Zora gave you. It has been passed down in their family generation to generation. That brings question...why the hell would Zoras have an enchanted boomerang.'' Shoots jelly monster with Lightning bolt.

''It's worth a try.'' Pulls out boomerang and throw it killing the enemy. ''Wow this is rather convenient,'' Lina said as the boomerang returned to her hand.

''Yeah …but what are the odds will get items like this when we need them later on? Now onward we go.'' Slashes open door. ''I don't know if that was a good idea but he's not my sea god!'' Naruto shouted a she charged forward.

''Ok seriously there's something wrong with him.'' Tatl said again as they went deeper into the fish.

''You! Who are you?'' The young Zora girl asked them.

''The name is Naruto and I am your rescuer for the evening , these are TaelTatl my fairies and Lina and her fairy partner Navi…now once we get you back to your father everything will be all good.''

''I am Ruto, Princess of the Zoras…Wait are you saying my father asked you to come here to save me? I'd never ask anyone to do such a thing!''

''What about the letter in the bottle we found are you saying you didn't send that?'' Naruto asked her.

"Letter in a Bottle?" I have no idea what you're talking about! ''

''Your father is worried about you though,''Lina added.

'' My father is worried about me? I don't care! Anyway, I can't go home right now. And you... Get out of here! Understand?'' She falls down a hole.'' Ooooh Noooooo!''

''You know...maybe I can send a Kagebunshin down there and get the sapphire throw it up here and...''

Lina sent him a disapproving look.''Alright fine...you know what would have been simpler. If I just gave her some drugged milk we would have been out of here already.'' Naruto said with a sigh.

''My god...I can't believe I'm banging you.'' She murmured as they continued down to the lower levels of the fish.

''Hey princess one should be more cautious when doing such things.'' Naruto said walking down the side using chakra.

''Up Yours! I told you to go away!'

''You know when one has been swallowed by a giant monster you think they would be nicer to their rescuers...Also if anyone is getting something up there's it'll mostly be Lina here.''

Naruto was slammed into the ground when Lina leaped through the hole and drop kicked him, using him to break her ground.''Why can I taste blood?''

''You don't understand...I'm in no danger...ever since I was a little Za,I've been going inside Lord Jabu-Jabu's belly since I was little, but... Lord Jabu-Jabu is very strange today... There are electrified jellyfish and strange holes around... On top of that, my precious stone was...but... That's none of your business! Anyway... You! Go home now! Understand?''

''First of all what the hell is a Za? Second were rescuing you despite the fact you don't like it which you clarified pretty well.''

''Hey Naruto...maybe you should mention the drug milk...you're doing such a good job might as well go for the extra push.''

''You know what Tatl...I sure as hell don't want your help in the future.''

''You're that worried about me? Then I will give you the honor of carrying me! However...I won't leave until I find the thing I'm looking for, believe me!''

''Who I said I was...''

''Ok you know what...Naruto you should stop talking...can we just get her and go.''

''Fine!'' He said as he picked her up and groping her.

''Aaah!"' Ruto let out a rather audible moaned and blushed.

''God damnit Naruto!''

''Now Lina...do you really think your going to hurt me with that butter knife?''

One epic battle later.''You know...you only won because my hands were full and I didn't want to hurt you.''

''Uh-huh..at least your blood is leaving us a trail in case we want to back track.'' They walk through another...door?

''That's it! That's what I've been looking for! Throw me up there! Onto the platform!'' She said squirming around in Naruto's hand.

''Whatever you say princes.'' Throws her on platform.

''Oh my goodness! I finally found... My mother's stone... I got very upset when Lord Jabu-Jabu swallowed it... While I was feeding him, he suddenly swallowed me! I was so surprised I dropped it inside... But, now that I've found it, I don't need to be in here anymore! So, take me home, right now!''

''Ok geesh fine,'' _Bossy little bitch. _''Well you heard the...whatever she is Lina let's…What the hell?'' The platform lifts up.

''Keeeyaaaah! What is this? An octopus?'' Moments later a platform brings a Bigocto to their location

''What the hell is that?''

''A bigocto…Their invulnerable to blades but vulnerable to stunning items such as deku nuts.''-Navi

''Riiiiight…I see food...stand back Lina...Grand Fire ball!''

''Hit the deeeeeec...''

Some time later.''Naruto...if you ever want me to do that thing I do with my fingers that you like you will never do something that stupid again.''

''No promises...''

''You know what...Fuck you.''

''Don't you do that already.''

''Ok that's it,'' whip out Kokiri knife.

''What the hell is your deal.''

Scream.

''Damnit! It's Princess Ruto. We'll settle this later.''

'_Goddess if your up there. Please let Lina forget!'_ he mentally pleaded as they went to confront Barinade.

''Aaaaaaaah Heeeelp!'' Ruto screamed as she cornered by the creature in Jabu-Jabu

''**Give me the spiritual stone of water!'' **Barinade demanded.

''Never! I'll never let you have my mother's stone.''

''**Then suffer the consequences.'' **It said as lightning was charged on it's tentacles.''

''Please…someone…anyone help me.'' As tears fell out of her eyes.

''Ruto!'' She heard someone shouted as she opened her eyes. A cry of pain was heard as Naruto appeared before her but one of his hands exhumed smoke where Barinade's attacked connected with his hand which he used to stop it from hitting Ruto. ''Are you alright?'' He asked her as she could only nod.

''**You will pay for you interference.''**

''Sorry to disappoint but… The only one who will pay is you and you will be paying with your life…Now Lina!'' He shouted as the Boomerang soar through the air shredding Barinade's limbs that was attached the ceiling of fleshy wall of the room they were in. The creature shrieked as pain coursed through it's body and the noise intensify when it was hit from a blast of fire from Naruto…The attacks intensified up to the point where Lina gathered magic and spin letting loose a flurry or orange magic tearing open Barinade's body as Naruto repeatedly shot fire into the creature burning it's body inside out until it was defeated. ''Hey you ok?'' He asked her with much concern.

''You...You're late! What took you so long! You're useless! I was just lonely, that's all... Just a little!'' She said dismissing the fact she was almost fried by Barinade but Naruto let it go and just shrug. He was an expert better yet an master when it came to masks created by people.

''This water fills nice and fresh you know.'' He said as he swam on his back. They were outside of Jabu Jabu and Naruto never felt happier.

''Yeah I'm beat my arms are sore from throwing that boomerang so much. I think I'm going to need to rest before we continue.'' Lina said from the tree.

''Yeah casting that many fire spells took more mana then I realized I'm tired too.'' He finished as Ruto swam up to him.

''You! You looked cool...cooler than I thought you would, anyway... Just a little! Well, anyway, you saved me, so I guess I'll reward you. What do you wish? Just tell me…''

''We need that stone you retrieved… '' He told her decided to get straight to the point.

''You mean the Spiritual Stone of Water, Zora's Sapphire, don't you? My mother gave it to me and said I should give it only to the man who will be my husband. You might call it the Zora's Engagement Ring!''

''You mention being inside Jabu-Jabu before…I could sense their was more to what you said…what's the real truth behind this incident.''

Princess Ruto sighed.''I was never swallowed by Lord Jabu-Jabu…I was hiding there?''

''W-Why!'' Lina suddenly blurted out.

''My father…Went ahead and arranged a marriage for me without consulting me…That geezer didn't even consult my feelings on the matter.''

''I think I get it…That stone hold importance to the women in your line. The stone is a symbol of your vows between you and your beloved which is why you were given to it. Your at the age where your blossoming into your own woman so to speak but you feel lonely and lost without your mother to consult on what to do.''

''I…yes.'' sniff sniff

''It's tough to be a princess and not have anyone listen to you. Most princesses

are spoiled brats, who though they may be beautiful aren't so noble on the inside. Zelda the princess of the Royal family knows and share your pain to an extent princess, I know being her friend. You have to be strong and strive no matter what anyone tells you. Hold your head high and be proud for who you are and what you wish to make of your life.''

''Thank you…I have decided to give you my most precious possession: Zora'sSapphire!'' She said as the Spiritual stone of water appeared and she gave it to Naruto.

''Another one down with two more to go…Ruto if it was anyone else or even Lina as a male.''

''HEY!''

''They probably had no idea what the meaning of your tale is. I'm not most guys and I'm not a dunce (Point canon Naruto, Ranma, Tenchi, maybe even that guy from Love Hina) so I'm not just going to shun off your feelings. It might be difficult seeing as were two different species all together but I promise you I'll find away.'' He said as he kissed her on the lips after a couple of seconds pulled back leaving them both blushing. The two then started kissing passionately.

''Naruto we don't have time for this!" She shouted out to the blonde who was getting on with the fish girl. ''You

know what...I'm getting out of here,'' Lina grumbled not wanting to see Naruto get it on with the fish girl.


	5. Riding Forest & being ridden by darkness

Heroes Across Time Abridged

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I would like to get a shout out to Adamswestlapdog from Youtube. A lot of the material here is based off his abridged series, so credit goes where credit is due. But of course with a female link it couldn't be all that much.

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Warning

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This will be far more perverted and violent. Meaning random Lemons, some small, swearing and violence. No one under 18 should be reading this.

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Naruto x Harem

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Story Start

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''So how's your ass?'' Naruto asked the awakening girl.

''uugh fine...why was I unconscious?''

''You took the wrong potion...anyway...since you were such a trooper I got you something...Volvagia come here boy.'' He said to Lina's confusion as a small red dragon appeared and jumped on the bed and nuzzled again Lina. ''I bought him an told him he had a person who wanted his freedom…I'm not sure if he fully comprehended but he's a smart fellow.''

''Thank'' sniff ''you.'' She said as a loan tear fell down her left eye.

''You rest up I'm going to go do some more of those side quests you can't stand…Also once you get up you will feel if your stronger it's because I found a way to purify our defeated enemies essence to empower us in the form of hearts. I don't need it because of my regeneration factor but every bit helps right?''

''Yeah it does…don't be gone long ok.''

''Don't worry I won't.''

Several Hours Later. ''It's been awhile since I been here…'' He said as he walked through the entrance of the sacred meadow.

''Aroo'' A wolfo said as it tried to attack him.

''Respect my gangster!'' Backhands white Wolfo into wall. ''Damn better not take too long kagebunshin no jutsu.'' Ten clones appear. ''Ok your mission is to find a place to spot these seeds. Go all over Hyrule if you have too but plant those seed.''

KBS: ''Yes Sir!''

Naruto runs forward and pulls out his broken sword. ''Shit I knew I forgot something oh well at least I got a Hylian shield.'' He said pulling out a shield reflecting the nuts shot at him by the enemies back at them and beheading them once they come out of the ground by throwing the shield(This would kick ass if they put this in an Legend of Zelda Game). Naruto eventually made it to where Saria was on her stomp playing.

''Naruto!'' She yelled as she ran over to him and pulled him into a hug. ''It's been so long I've missed you.''

''I missed you too.''

''Where's Lina?''

''She ran away…the second she got enough distance from me she bolted.''

''Naruto…'' She said trying to hold in her laughter. She gave him a look of disbelief wandering if he was going to tell her where the other girl was.

He sighed and relented. ''She's in a village called Kakariko…it's a town composed of Hylians and some Sheikah survivors. She got sick during our travels by drinking the wrong potion so I decided to put our quest on hold for a few days so she could recuperate.''

''That's good.'' She replied touched by how thoughtful the blonde was. Though she began to worry about Lina but she was sure the blonde wouldn't let anyone or anything harm her.

''Well Geesh Saria she's suppose to be our friend and here I thought…'''

''You know what I mean I'm glad she's ok…So how has your quest been going?'' She asked curious about all the things the two experienced.

''Great and I can honestly say you helped us out a lot giving us that ocarina.''

''I did…that's great I just wish I could help more.''

''Even so the little amount of help that you did was great…Anyway I'm going to go check back on Lina I'll come by and see you again.''

''Ok…Next time maybe Lina can come too.''

''I'm sure she will enjoy that…Then we can tell you about all of our adventures.''

''Before you go...I was hoping for a quickee...''

''Sure...why the hell not. ''

After that no words were said as Naruto wrapped his hands around her waist and bit into her neck. A low moan rose from her throat as she felt his hand massage her stomach. He cupped and massaged her breasts through the material. The little minx in her began to awaken. She pushed him on the ground and straddled him and grind against his member. She looked down on him with her emerald green eyes.

''Enough foreplay,'' He said as his hands slipped up her skirt. He squeezed her cheeks causing her to mew and grin against him even more. After rolling around a bit they took off their clothing.

Naruto positioned himself so that his cock rested at Saria's entrance then slowly brought his hips forward, causing his cock to enter her. Saria gasped again as she was taken by Naruto.

He slowly eased himself in and out of her, her tight pussy gripping his cock like velvet glove. She moaned into Naruto's neck as he started to speed up. Naruto wasn't the only one that gave gifts when he mated. He inherited the ability to give women the best sex of their lives from some bird like chicks called Veelas every time he had sex. That and the fact that being partially demon allowed the bodies of their mates to adjust to Naruto's size. Not as well as full-blooded demons or other beings like that.

Naruto picked up the pace as he quickly and masterfully rubbing against her clit with every stroke. Saria screamed out as she quickly came to climax and dug her nails into his back.

He flipped her on her stomach and inserted a tail into her pussy. Saria pressed her face into her pillow to smoother her screams. Naruto raised his hand to her ass and made a miniature sphere of water that he leaked into her Ass. He controlled the liquid and resorted to it's purest form to clean out her ass then sent in some wind to carefully scrape then cleanse and finally bring out the water. This was all too much for Saria as her head jerked up and she screamed cumming on his newly revealed tail.

He brought the tail to her mouth as she sucked on it and he placed another one back inside of her. Naruto then brought her on top of him in a sixty-nine position removing his tail and slightly moving his member to show Saria what he wanted. Seeing this she brought it to her lips and kiss it. She then proceeded to lick the tip several times before she took some of it in her mouth. She then went about bobbing her head up and down on him.

Naruto brought his tongue up and began to lick her pussy. He snaked his tongue out and brushed the tip against her clit several times. It didn't take long until he came into her mouth and switched positions she was in front of him now and he was behind her. He enter her ass this time and with every stroke a moan uttered from her lips. Soon enough Saria was moaning loudly again as a few minutes both came.

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Next Day

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''Zelda we have returned.'' Naruto said semi-dramatically said as he walked into the garden with Lina right behind him.

''I have prayed to the goddesses everyday for your safe travels and I am glad to see my prayers have been answered…How many stone of spirits do you have now?''

''Three… The Emerald, Ruby, and Sapphire but that is the thing that puzzles me is where would the next stone be found?''

''I can help you with that one.'' Impa said appearing in the garden…(Like a Ninja) ''The Amethyst of the shadow is the Spirit stone of Darkness which the Sheikah hold as our alliance with the Royal family. It has been our duties for generation. The Sacred Stone of death is kept in an dungeon in the Shadow forest located between Lake Hylia and Gerudo's valley and only one of the Sheikah would know of it's location.''

''Sweet so you can take us there,'' Lina said hopefully. Maybe for once things wouldn't be so damn difficult.

''I'm afraid not…My duty keeps me by Zelda. Ever since she was kidnapped all those months ago security has tightened.'' She said as the two none royal blondes deflated and thought. _'_Damn'

''Great that sucks how are we suppose to find this place? I mean you gave us the general location but I take it that to find this place we need something more.''

''That is correct young Lina…My apprentice however knows the location. Her name is Shishou and she grew up in Kakariko village amongst my people. Her parents were killed by a plague that struck Hyrule. I raised her as my own when I found her. If you are looking for her the best place would be Lake Hylia that or Death mountain those are the two places she likes to spend her time. She can show you the way.''

''Well I guess our next destination is Death Mountain seeing as it's the closet.''

Hyrule Field after a long and sexy adventure.''Great…it's gotten Dark quickly…we shouldn't have stopped to smash all those vases huh?''

''Yeah'' Nods head. ''Let's go back and wait till morning.'' She said but the sound of a draw bridge going up ended such an idea. ''Oh h-''

Gricraacraack

''Damnit it not you creatures again.'' Stabs in head with broken blade. ''I really need to get this fixed…Cura.''

''Really…Let's see how they like my Spin Attack.'' She said spinning letting loose a powerful circular shockwave beheading all the undead creatures.

''I still think it needs a better name…'' He said as one of the creatures lunged at him but Vovalgia head buts it and…kills it.. ''Ok you just moved up ranking on my list of friends,'' Naruto told the dragon.

''We can't keep this up all night…'' Lina said and Naruto knew she was right. She had just recently gotten over the flu and wanted to wait a few more days but she was so damn stubborn he could only relent. Their was a chance she could have a relapse if she didn't get a substantial amount of sleep.

''Your right.'' He said as he transformed into his fox form and grew the fifty feet smashing them under his claws. He then shrunk down to ten feet and put Vovalgia and Lina on his back. ''Hang on!'' He yelled as he rapidly dashed forward dodging the creatures as they came up. He leaped over the bridge and ran into Kakariko village and made way to Death Mountain.

''Thanks for housing us Darunia.''

''Are you kidding me brother after what you've and sister Lina did you can stay as long as you like.''

''That's good since we need to explore death mountain because were in search of an acquaintance of Impa by the name of Shisou.'

''I know no one of that name.''

''That sucks…''

Some time later. ''Hey Daria what's up?''

''Oh hello Naruto.''

''Nothing just in the search of someone…So what's been going on?'' He asked her.

The gorons were happy that their food supply was now available and everyone was happier now along with other stuff.

''How long are you staying?''

Naruto then answered, ''Not that long I'm afraid but I'll be sure to come back soon that I promise.''

At Lake Hylia. ''Hey you here that?'' Naruto asked her.

''Here what?''

''It's the sound of a musical instrument along the lines of a flute.'' He said as he walked over to the origin of a noise. ''Hello?'' He asked as the music suddenly stopped.

''Whose there?'' Asked the woman as a crew landed on her shoulder. She had long blonde hair with light red hew to it and it was tied back. She wore bracers on her arms and knee armor her knee-high boots. She also wore a leather corset-style top which left her belly admittedly unprotected also wears leather pants.

''We come in search of the one name Shishou…I am Naruto.''

''And I am Lina we have been sent by Impa.''

''I am Shisou…What is it that Lady Impa needed so badly she sent young ones such as your selves?''

''I'm really started to get annoyed by the whole were young cracks and stuff…We have been sent by Zelda to gather the spirit stones and we need a guide to the spirit stone of Death.''

''You seek the Amethyst of Sheikah…One most be intelligent and skill to hope to survive retrieving the stone. I'm afraid I can't help you unless you prove your self worthy.''

''Very well…I been a bit groggy lately maybe a good fight will wake me up.''

''Don't be so confident that you will win.''

Naruto gauged the woman before him. She was tall and definitely had an athletic figure and bore the eye of the Sheikah race. He watched as the fight lasted for several minutes with Lina pulling every trick she knew. Shisou proved far to quick to hit with a deku nut and Lina couldn't attack her with the Kokiri sword quick enough after she would duck to block Shisou's throwing needles and daggers with the Hylian shield. After a few more seconds Lina dropped to the ground in exhaustion.

''Your quite strong you know that.''

Shisou: ''….''

''Now it's my turn.'' He said appearing in front of her in an instant. He could tell he caught her off guard because there was a flicker of surprise in her eyes. She vanished just as quick but using his nose Naruto blocked her kick He pulls out a dagger that he brought from the market and charged towards Shisou who blocked it with her daggers. He jump into the air threw several shruikens at her but Shisou teleported out of the way. He was about to sweep kick her but she jumped over. He then was about to strike her left side but she instantly guarded it and landed a kick to his chin sending him flying back. ''Damn!'' _Ok then I'll just hit her from long range. _He thought but Shisou started throwing needles at him. _Ok then maybe a lightning attack will work.' _But just then when he was about to hit her with a lightning spell a slab of earth appeared blocking his attack. _What the hell? Is as if she can read my mind…She does have a nice rack.' _He thought as he saw her scowl. _Holy shit she can…Well Shishou if you like that then how about… _He used the fact that she was stun to teleport in front of her and belt her in the stomach then press the pressure points in her necks knocking her unconscious. ''Hhm I can tell she's stronger then what've seen.''

''Let's rest up.''

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Next Day

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''Uugh my head…Where am I?''

''Your in a forest…We made a hut since well , we didn't want to stay with that old guy in the laboratory out of fear he would try to form an experiment on us.''

''I see.''

''So are you going to take us to the dungeon of what?''

''Very well…I will take…Naruto but you have to remain here.''

''WHAT! No way! You can't be serious.'' Lina yelled outraged.

''Only a warrior may enter the dungeon…You failed to defeat me.''

''Oh come on Shisou she's my partner. We conquered every dungeon we came across with each other's help. We both have our strengths and…''

''No that's ok…If she doesn't think I'm fit then go ahead. Hyrule is in danger and well we need those stones.'' Lina replied though you could tell by her tone she wasn't happy.

''Are you sure your going to be ok?''

''I will be.'' Takes out scroll and unseals Slingshot, Boomerang, Slingshot bag , Kokiri Dagger, and Deku sticks (They got second to most upgrades). ''Take these with you and come back to me in one piece to me ok.'' She said as she kissed his cheek.

''I will that's a promise.''

''But before we go I need to see if you are truly worthy. So leave your items here...we'll come back in 3, maybe 4 hours.''

''I think I love this test already.''

''You know what Naruto...if you spent more time collecting the stones instead of screwing everything with a Vagina we'd be done by now.''

''You have no proof.''

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Six hours later-Spirit Stone Location

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''This is where the Amethyst of the Sheikah is kept.''

''How come you guys don't keep your sacred stone like the other races?''

''I don't know…''

''Oh…So anyway do you know the exact location?''

''I know it's in the basement which is suppose to be two levels below…''

''Son-of-a-Bitch.''

''Those stairs should take us down to the next level.''

''Ok lead the way.'' He said as he lit a deku stick to use for light. ''So Shisou that was an interesting instrument a bone flute right?''

''Yes''

''Where did you get it?''

''A gift from my grandfather.''

''Hhm I see.'' _That reminds me where the hell is my grandfather? _''Did Lina really have to stay behind.''

''Our traditions are very specific on what's allowed and what's not.''

''So your allowed to tie a guy up and fuck him for five hours straight.''

''Do you want my help or not.''

''I'm sorry...but...besides the whole using my body to please you thing. Don't you ever get lonely?''

''No…My falcon Heru is all that I need for companionship…I live in the shadows and it is my duty to ensure the safety of Hyrule…If I found out that you didn't come here on behalf of the royal family I will end your life.''

''Well that's interesting…I have no need to seek destruction…I only want to help. I also wish to seek a balance.''

''Balance?''

''Power…Courage…Wisdom…A perfect balance of three principals…Those of power are often cowards who use big displays to bring others to their need to do their dirty work and lack the temperate of someone whose wise to see the damage they have caused.

Those of Wisdom hide behind their words and often expect those to blindly follow without often lifting a finger them selves.

Those of Courage are often hot-headed and lack the foresight or the actual strength to do anything about a situation.

If at least two members of the three come together then the negative aspects of said influence can be softened and the two can borrow a bit of the other's aspects. Someone who is wise and courageous even though lack power can come up with a solution and follow through with it for the better. It seems to be the best out of the combination as without the will to try and do something then theirs no point of being smart or powerful.''

''Your words hold powerful meaning.''

''I think of the situation at hand…Hey looks like that door will opened if we hit that weird looking switch above it.'' He said as he took out the slingshot and shot a seed but the door just stirred. He repeated this five more times then tried with the boomerang with no results. ''Damn maybe I should have brought Tatl or Tael…You know how to get passed this switch?''

''I know of a riddle for this specific dungeon…Transcend earthly boundary and trust yourself in the Goddess of Power Din.''

''Riiiiight…That certainly will without a doubt help.''

''Raarggh.''

''Hey where'd you come from Vol? Did Lina send you here to help?'' He asked the wrymling which nodded. ''Hey do me a favor fly up there and blast that sphere looking thing with fire will you.'' He said to the dragon as it did just that and the door opened. The room lit up to reveal several platforms with odd switches on it. ''Huh, so that's what the deal was…I think we just skipped a portion of the dungeon.''

''It seems the goddesses have blessed our journey.''

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Time Skip

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''Ok I'm going to give this one more try.'' He said as he took a breath and got ready to run the path using the Pegasus boots. He had fallen off the path three times and had to travel across to crevices , climb up the side of a cliff, flip three switches with a deku seed and make it to other side of the room in three minutes, collect four keys by putting together several smashed statues as well as kill a wolfos. Naruto took off at stallion like speed as he ran across the quickly dissipated blocks to the other side hit the switch. ''FINALLY!''

''What took you so long?'' She questioned from the other side of the door.

''Hey what can I say stuff happens…Is that what I think it is?'' He said pointing to the stone at the top of a statue in the room.

''It is indeed…We must make haste before the guardian awakens.''

''Of course…why didn't I even suspect things were going to be different?'' He said as he stepped on platform a roar echoed throughout the room as Naruto sunk some and a click was heard as the bars on the right side of the room opened and a black dragon crawled out. ''Fuck my life.''

''A dragon…a rare creature perfect to protect one of the spirit stones.''

''Admire later let's just grab the stone and bounce.'' He said as he made a grab for the stone only for the dragon to bring it's tails down blocking Naruto's path. ''Of course it's never that easy.'' He said as he hit it with a Deku nut but the creature seemed unaffected. ''Oh come on you got to be shitting me?''

''The creatures hide seem nigh invulnerable conventional weapons won't work.''

''Then I can try this…Open wide you hungry looking bastard.'' He said lighting a bomb and throwing it into the creatures mouth as it tried to bite him.''Hah how do you like…'' He didn't get to finish at the creature regurgitated the bomb and spat it at him exploding only a few inches from Naruto sending him flying back into a wall.

''Naruto!'' She yelled letting her clam demeanor slipped for a moment. The creature roared then let out a stream of black toxic from it's mouth which Shisou teleported to get out of the way. ''Damnit…I don't have anything that would work.''

''Nayah..Nyya..gragggh.'' Volvagia nodged Naruto.

''My head…uugh….Kuso! The dragon.'' He said as he jumped up. ''What the hell can I use to…Shisou!'' He yelled as he saw the creature send her flying into a wall with a thud form a swing of it's tail. ''Kuso…'' He thought as he ran over to her. ''Come on get up the dragon is making it's way.''

''I'' groan ''I can't move my leg.''

''Kuso…Wait I got an idea can you blind it?''

''I know a particular spell but what good…?''

''Just do it.'' He said as he picked her up bridal style. ''No time to argue just do it.'' He said as he ran over to the creature. Shisou cast a spell that caused the creature to roar out and flail as Naruto pulled out the Kokiri dagger and stabbed it in the stomach where it was vulnerable. ''Hah I knew this damn thing had to have a weakness he said as he jumped back the dagger this lodged in it's belly. He brought Shisou to the top of the statue out of the creature's reach. ''Can you cast that spell form long range?''

''Yes but at such a distant can be tiring meaning I can cast it only a few more times.''

''Let's just hope it's enough.'' He said as he jumped back to the ground as he shot the creature with deku seeds to catch it's attention. He waited until Shisou was blinded then he channeled lighting and shot it at the creature using the Kokiri dagger as a focus point frying it inside out until it killed over in pain. He went to retrieve the Spirit Stone of Death and made his way back to an exhausted Shisou.

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Hyrule Field

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''Oh man I can't believe it…Our quest is almost done just one more spirit stone.''

''You are…quite the unusual one.'' She told him. She didn't know why she was starting to feel this way around Naruto. It was taboo to be in any type of relationship with a man that wasn't of Sheikah. Out of every ten Sheikah born one would be male meaning that she didn't have too much experience and to add in he was almost half her age didn't help either.

''Oh trust me I am used to hearing that. Anyway what will you do once we leave?''

''Heal my injuries and continue my duty.''

''Lina and I have it covered Shisou…why not take a brake you earned it.''

''My duty can not wait I must be ready at all times.''

''Your only human Shisou…If you don't take better care of your self you'll be no help to anyone. ''

''Some rest…I suppose it couldn't hurt.''

A week later at Hyrule Castle.''What took you guys so long?''

''Sorry Zelfa...Lina here was...'' Boot to gut.

''Ignore him...whatever he says are lies,'' Lina said a Naruto cradled his stomach.

''Wait a minute…Something…It's at the back of my head but I have a feeling bad news is about to be released upon us. Can it wait until tomorrow...when my stomach heals.''

''No it can't...you must go to the desert and get the last sacred stone.''

''Wait but that means...aaww...Sunavabi...''


	6. Last Stone on the rocks

Heroes Across Time Abridged

0

I would like to get a shout out to Adamswestlapdog from Youtube. A lot of the material here is based off his abridged series, so credit goes where credit is due. But of course with a female link it couldn't be all that much.

0

Warning

0

This will be far more perverted and violent. Meaning random Lemons, some small, swearing and violence. No one under 18 should be reading this.

0

Naruto x Harem

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STORY START

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''Come on let's go before the guards notice were here.'' Lina said as they made their way through the hole at the end below the castle.

''Yeah I'm sure the explosion from that bomb didn't alert them.'' Naruto said in a sarcastic manner.

''I don't like you right now.''

At Din's Fountain. ''So you guys are sure there is…Never mind.'' He stopped as he saw and surveyed the area. Apparently the fairies could sense the presence of others. ''Wow this place is fancy.''

''I know…Who do you think will meet.'' She said as the two torches in front of them lit ablaze as a portal opened.

''Welcome to my fountain Linika…Naruto...'' Din reached forward and pulled Naruto into a passionate lip-lock.

''You have got to be shitting me! I mean come on.''

Naruto and Din broke the kiss. Oh come on Lina don't be like that.''

''Hey lover...remember when we first met?''

''No...but I can remember the first time we had foreplay.''

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Flash Back-Undisclosed time

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A beautiful young woman came in wearing doctors clothing. She was unusual for several reasons. One, everyone referred to her as her first name Din which in itself sounded unusual. The second thing was with her looks she could have been a model or movie actress easily. She had a tan complexion that was quite exotic. Her eyes were golden, intoxicating and held much passion and power behind them. Her hair was that of a fiery red, done in the style of a pony-tail. Her curves, absolutely mouth-watering; with her hourglass figure and tone body it was obvious she worked out.

Naruto had come in for a check-up but while he was there he was doing checking of another kind. The first thing she done was check his height and weight. After that she checked his blood pressure and what followed next was his pulse. ''This won't take long,'' she said in a surprisingly sensual tone. She held his arm up and press two fingers against the wrist trying to feel for his pulse. His arm was lightly pressed against her torso, which he could feel her D-cups through. ''Now in order for me to complete my exam you'll have to strip naked.''

''Hai miss Din,'' Naruto complied as he stripped naked. He was practically oozing confidence despite the fact his hardness was being displayed.

The doctor was put off by both the size and the young man's confidence. Though in her line of work she had seen plenty so it wasn't that shocking. It was perfectly natural for him to be aroused. She slowly moved forward to check his balls. As she tried to perform the exam she found herself distracted. ''We'll wait until your Penis become soft to continue the rest of the exam.'' She said as she got up from the exam table and went to her computer. Ten minutes of work and Naruto was still hard.

She sighed and asked him had he ever masturbated before? He answered yes, the latest before the exam actually.

''Damn! Well maybe I can help take care of it,'' Din got out of her chair and slowly walked towards Naruto looking back between his eyes and his tool. She took her hand and gently grasp the stiff cock. She started to stroked it for a minute or so before spending up. After a couple of minutes and no climax Din decided more drastic measures needed to be taken. She placed some lube on her hand continued only to find that it wasn't working. ''Are you holding back on me?''

''Doctor I'm receiving a hand job by the most attractive woman I've ever laid eyes on. As a teenage boy do you think I really have control of that magnitude?''

''Smart-ass...well it looks like I'll have to try something else.'' Din moved her face just above the cock head and stuck her tongue out. She licked the tip a few times causing Naruto to moan. She then took the entirety of his tool into her mouth and began bobbing up and down. A few minutes passed by as Din sped up the rate of her ministrations. Even after this he still hadn't cum. ''Damn...I think I'm going to have to give you my number and have you call me in a few years. Looks like there's only one thing let to do,'' She said as she took off her clothing. She then climbed on to the table and pushed Naruto onto his back. She positioned her pussy lips right above his cock and she slowly lowered her self as he slid inside her.

Both of them moan at the sensations. Din then began by bouncing up and down on the thick tool that felt so hard and delicious inside her pussy. As her arousal and desire coursed through her she increased the intensity of her movements. Her breasts started to bounce and slap together because of how fast she was going.

''D-Din!'' Naruto cried out as his body shuddered in pleasure.

''Don't cum yet baby! The fun is just beginning,'' She said giving him a seductive grin. Placing her hands on his chest she hoisted her self up off his tool. She then turned around and slid herself down again riding him reverse cow girl style.

Naruto gripped her hips and thrust into her erratically. The sight of her fine round as almost made him cum. Not to mention her moans that escaped her lips each back. A half hour past and Naruto still hadn't come. ''W-Wow! Maybe if you set the p-pace you'll finally get off,'' She said as she dismounted the blond. She got off the table and took his hand leading him off the table. She then leaned over it and pushed her ass into the air. ''Why don't you fill my other whole you stud you!''

Naruto not wanting to miss a chance to fuck the smooth firm ass before him complied. He used his thumbs to spread her cheeks and pushed his tip against the hole. Din grunted and groan a bit as the mushroom shaped head fought to gain entrance through the tight ring. Eventually after a few thrusts and a bit of struggling the length made it's way into her ass. Naruto started to pound away into that tight Ass causing Din to cry out in ecstasy. Naruto reached forward and cupped her breasts as he continued thrusting into her. He went faster and faster feeling himself finally coming to climax. With a cry he shot his sticky load inside her gorgeous body.

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Flash back end

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''Yeah that was great...anyway I will now bestow upon the two of you the power of fire.'' She said as two orbs of fire appeared and brushed up against the two blondes as they alit of fire but no pain came upon them. ''My sister Farore isn't too far from here. She is located near Zora's fountain visit her to receive her gifts.'' She said as she moved forward as her hand brushed Naruto's cheek. ''Come back if your ever weary from your travels.'' She said as she vanished.

''Lina so...'' Naruto waves his hand in front of her eyes. ''Huh...that can't be good...a catatonic heroine of time.''

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Farore's Fountain

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''Hey Farore it's-a-me Naruto…Hello?''

Lina: ''So what is Farore like?''

''It's hard to describe her as anything but a goddess in both beauty and intellect. You'll see.'' He said as a column of wind erupted from the ground and a figure appeared.(I assume I don't have to tell anyone to check my profile for links to the pics.)

''Naruto? Oh I missed you.'' She said scooping him up into a tight hug. ''Though it's a shame you went chibi on me.''

''Note to self don't tell people certain words and phrases from my language…How are you?''

''Good…You know Nayru misses you terribly, but it's not the say I haven't missed you too…Her fountain sadly is located on the other side of Hyrule in the desert region so be sure to visit her.''

''I'll be sure to do so…So got any unique ability you can bless us with to aid our travels.''

''I will bless you with the powers of my wind allowing you to travel from danger.'' She said as two balls of wind appeared and merged with the two blondes. ''Now I believe a little thank you is in order.''

''Right Lina you'll have to...''

''3 or 4 hours I know...''

Some time later. ''You know I figured things were going to smoothly.'' Naruto said as it had been quiet the past few hours.

''We can only hope that the stone was place in some kind of dungeon and that he doesn't have it.''

''Nah that would make things far to easy if that was so.''

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Gerudo Fortress

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''I don't know about this Naruto?''

''Oh come on this will work…The Gerudo will accept you since you're a woman and you have some skill.''

''Some?'' She asked him annoyed that he carted off her ability as average.

''You could use some more training but all and all this will work. You add in the fact I sent a clone with a fake message from the king the dark tosser will be gone anywhere from three to fives day max meaning your going to have to impress them big time.''

''Ok but what happens if we get caught?''

''You would probably be executed and I would be used as breeding stock.''

''You said that a little to happily.''

''I'm sad about the execution part but to be used by several hungry and needing women as their toy to sate their desires doesn't sound too bad…Hell it doesn't sound bad at all.''

''Your such a damn pervert I swear.''

''I'm only a guy.'' He said as he transformed into his fox form. ''I think I need my belly rubbed.''

''Then rub it your self.''

''Freeze!'' some Gerudo shouted.

The two blondes leapt slightly.

''Who are you girl and why are you trespassing in Gerudo land?''

''I came to join…I got tired of my old life and the stupidity of man and wish to become a true warrior.''

''Stupidity of Man? Damn that was kind of harsh.'

''Wise choice my sister…I will take you to our second in command since our leader has left on important mission.

At the Gerudo Castle. ''So you wish to become one of us?'' the leader of the Gerudos inquired of the young girl.

''Yes lady Nabooru.'' Lina remarked,doing her best.

''You do realize this is going to be a long and agonizing trial.''

''Whatever you throw at me I can take it.''

8 hours later.''Kill…Me.'' Lina said dramatically.

''Wuss…'' Pokes her. ''Get up.''

''No…Go…Away.''

''Oh come on so you had to carry several packs of rocks and had to run around the training ground several dozen times as well as climb up several boulders.''

''Go…To…Blech.'' Falls unconscious.

''Aaw this isn't any fun…'' Cuddles up next to her. ''Well might as well get some sleep.''

5 days later. ''Man it's peaceful here.''

''Tch whatever you weren't saying so three days ago.''

''Bite me!''

''Where at?'' He asked looking her up and down suggestively.

''Pervert.'' She muttered looking away while blushing.

''Of course…Time for us to put our plan in action.''

''Whatever.''

30 Seconds Later. ''Why do you wish to know about the Sacred Stone of the Desert?'' Nabooru asked, if nothing more then to sate her own curiosity.

''Just curious I heard each race had a treasure.''

''Damn that's right Sacred…Damn have I been calling it Spirit this whole time?

''The Sacred Stone of the Desert is the treasure of our people passed down generation from generation. The current holder of it is Dina one of the last remaining descendants of our ancestors who descended from the western part of Hyrule from over the ocean.''

''I see…'' Lina replied.

That Night. ''Ok here's the plan…I learned where this girl stayed and I know she wears it around her neck so I'm going to steal it and were going to run for it.''

''You couldn't do that earlier because?''

''It was funnier to see you suffer.''

''Oh you can go to hell.''

''Already there Mindy…Be back in a second.''

30 Minutes later Naruto and Lina ran from the flying eagle like creature sent after them. Apparently the Gerudo had this one captured and trained. ''Man maybe we should have brought Vovlagia with us we could have used him for bait or something.''

''What? You ass there's no way we were going to use my dragon for bait.''

''Hey TaelTatl any info on this thing?''

''I don't know…''

''Same

''Damnit ok how about you Navi?''

''I don't know! I never seen this type of creature before.''

''Ok screw this I want to try something…Farore's Wind.'' He said as he was engulfed in green light and disappeared. He appeared on top of the creature and stabbed it in the head with his broken sword. The creature roared as it fell down to the ground. ''Quick Lina stab it while it's down!'' He shouted as she did that stabbing it three times before it threw Naruto off it's back. It was about to bring it's claws to attack Lina but she used Din's fire to burn it's left claw. Naruto jumped up and hit it with Deku nut blinding it while Lina attacked the creature with the Kokiri blade again. The creature took off into the sky again as Lina pulled out the fairy slingshot and started shooting seeds again. Naruto used Farore's wind to get on top of it again and instead of attacking it's head went about cutting up it's wings so it couldn't take flight eventually defeating the creature.''

''Man..''Pant ''Ok'' Pant ''Got to'' Pant ''Rest since ''Pant ''Mana Reserves'' Pant ''Are Low.''

''I '' Pant ''Know'' Pant ''Night''

Both of them passed out in the desert unaware that a certain figure saw the whole thing.

''Quite impressive though they won't last long if their left out here.'' The figure said as the figure went about picking them up heading to an undisclosed location.

Three Hours later Naruto came too. ''Aaw man my head is killing me…Where am I?''

He got his answer from none other then Shisou. ''You put up quite the performance you should take better care of your self.''

''Hey there beautiful I take it you saved us.''

''Yes…I am nearly twice your age you realize that?'' She asked though her face felt flush. She was glad she was still wearing a garb that covered the lower portion of her face.

''Age doesn't matter…Though twelve is as young as I'll go unless the girl ages dramatically and well I just love sexy older women especially if they used swords and or quite capable fighters.''

''You should go back to sleep.''

''I heal quickly…Where's Lina?''

''In the next room…I am going to go report to the royal family as there are rumors of an attack.''

''Very well then… I'll go back to sleep for now but I can't guarantee we'll be here when you get back.''

The Next Day. ''So Shisou saved us?''

''That's the story…I don't know the full details but apparently that is what happened that and it seems like Ganondorf is suppose to make his move soon. If we leave now we can make it to Hyrule castle just before nightfall.''

''Ok…come on Vovalgia let's go boy.''

After what seemed like weeks they finally returned to Hyrule Field.

''No…It can't be…ZELDA! Hold on I'm coming!'' He shouted as he made his way in the direction of burning Hyrule castle town.

''Naruto hold on!'' She shouted as she ran after him.

"Princess," called Impa, as the Shiekah stepped into Princess Zelda's lavish, well-appointed chambers. She looked around, and saw the girl standing at her window, looking out into the sky as mayhem was brought down on the city.

''It was more then just a dream,'' Impa heard Zelda whisper.

"Princess?" Impa asked as she started across the chamber. Zelda pulled her gaze away from the sky, but her eyes were distant.

''Naruto! Where is he and his friend? Are they back yet?'' She asked fear, confusion, and dread evident in her voice.

''I have not seen them," Impa replied, shaking her head. "What is the matter?"

''It's…We've run out of time! Ganondorf-"

Zelda's words were cut off as they heard the ringing of bells outside, and shouts of soldiers and guards over the roaring thunder.

"Arm thy selves. We have been betrayed! An army has invaded Hyrule! To Arms!" The captain of the Soldiers voice reverberated. _To arms! To arms! We are invaded! Hylians, to arms!"_

The door behind Impa burst open, and they could both hear shouting beyond. The Shiekah spun, a short, slender sword appearing in her hands, and found herself facing soldiers clad in the Hylian Royal Guard armor. Swords were in hand and shields were on their left arms, helmets donned.

"Princess Zelda!" the lead guard of the defense position Maro said quickly. ''We've have been betrayed. Ganondorf has broken the seal of the Dark Realm from within the pits of Hyrule. Quickly we must make haste and get you to safety.''

Zelda ran across the room, to her chest to secure the Ocarina.

Outside of Hyrule castle town.''Rasenshuriken,'' Naruto shouted as he launched the powerful Wind attack against the army of monsters at the entrance of the Town. ''Damnit…Why now!'' He shouted as Lina fought off Stalechild after Stalechild.

''Naruto!"'

''I know,'' He shouted back to her. He could smell it…blood and death. That and the screams of men and women filled his ears. The howls and screeches of creatures and the sound of clashing steel.

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''IT'S A COUP D-ETAT!''Some random Hylian scream as Naruto and Lina ran in the opposite direction of the fleeing people.

''DAMNIT! That bastard instigated a revolt earlier then we thought we would.'' Casts Cura on a skeleton.

''We have to find Zelda quickly.'' Lina said as more creatures ran towards them.

''I know.

Castle Town after about an hour of time. ''Grab on I'll run up on top of one of these walls.'' He said as the two made their way up quickly. ''Zelda!'' He yelled out as he saw her and Impa cornered by Ganondorf on top of one of the structures. ''Hang on.'' He told Lina as he stepped back and few steps and jumped from the building they were on to the next.

Ganondorf: ''The King is now resting peacefully…Forever.''

Impa: ''Curse you Ganondorf.''

''I will obtain the power of the triforce and become the king of Hyrule…No, I believe I'll become emperor of the world!''

''No, you won't…The ''Hero Of Time'' will appear to save Hyrule no doubt about that…TO KILL YOU.''

''What a laugh…Little girl!'' He said as he got ready to attack the spot where they were.

''Your mine!'' He shouted as he sent his fist into Desert King's gut sending him flying back.

''NARUTO!''

''At your service your highness…We got the Sacred stones all of them but that doesn't matter now you two need to get out of here. ''

''I'm not leaving without you Naruto.''

''Hyrule needs you Zelda you're the people's hope and confidence now. ''

''Your going to regret that boy.'' He said as his eyes flashed red.

''Hey next time give me a warning when your going to do one of your crash landings.'' She said as appeared out of a column of wind. ''And try to remember Farore's wind next time.''

''How did mere children learn the power of the Goddesses?''

''How about you go slip and stab your self through the throat with a rusty sword. Your going to pay for killing the king you bastard.'' He said as a horse loud nay permuted through the air down below. ''You guys got to get out of here now.''

''I don't think so brat.'' A skeleton appeared blocking the path to the horse down below. ''Surrender and I promise your deaths will be painless.''

''Enough games I don't care what you do to them just retrieve the Ocarina of Time.''

''Yes my lord.''

''Lina you take of bones the dark stain is mine to fight.''

''HAHAHAHAH…Do you think you stand a chance against me boy?''

''Well see.'' He said as he dashed forward using the Pegasus shoes.

Lina constantly strafe and dodged to avoid the skeletons large and powerful swings. She didn't have that much upper body strength but she was quick and the thing she tried to figure out was how the hell do you kill a skeleton? Out of the corner of her eye she saw another skeleton climb up from the side of the wall as it ran towards Naruto who was completely unaware. ''Din's Fire!'' She shouted as Din's hot scorching flame burned the creature to ash. ''Go why you have the chance!'' She yelled as she dashed towards Naruto hoping to stop the inevitable.

''Impa we can't leave them!''

''If we don't leave now princess we will be killed.'' She said as jumped down on the horse and cut the rope freeing it as they left Hyrule castle town. But not before Zelda through the Ocarina.

A few minutes later.''What are you grinning at ugly?'' He snarled until he got a whiff of…''Kuso!'' He said as he turned around to see one of Ganondorf's Skeleton warrior about to cut him until a column of green light appeared and he was pushed out of the way. He spun and saw it was Lina who narrowly missed the blade and was knocked towards the edge.

''LINA!''

I say (I say)

Lina falls over the edge.

Feel your breeze

Anytime anywhere in my heart (my heart)

The Symbol of the Triforce appears on her head and in her mind the image of a spinning circle appear.

Feel your breeze never stop walking now , oh

Lina: ''Hiiyaaaah!'' She shouted as she propelled her self back up spinning rapidly. She lands and spin sending out a burst of magic sending the skeleton warrior flying back before she collapses to her knees. Naruto quickly sped for the Ocarina of Time. ''Hey this is what you want he said as she silently performed the substitution jutsu. ''Well here!'' He said as he threw the Ocarina. He turned just in time to get blasted with a ball of energy sending him over the edge.

''Your going to pay for that. Go find his carcass and if he's still alive through him in the dungeon.''He commanded the skeleton warrior.

As Naruto fell from the distance he smirked or more like his clone smirked as it puffed into smoke. The real Naruto unhinged from a rock and help Lina up.

''That arrogant bastard…He didn't even acknowledge I existed.''

''For that I'm glad…makes it more ironic when we beat him.''

''When we beat him? Naruto what can we do? What can I do? With this body I'm no where near strong enough yet you want to fight?''

''The key to opening the sacred realm is within the temple of time. Zelda left us the Ocarina of Time for a reason.

''Play the song of time exactly how I taught you Lina…With all the sacred stones in their pedestals the door will open.''

Insert Song of time and door opening.

Navi: ''Lina that's…The Legendary sword…The Master sword.''

Naruto: ''Go ahead try to pull it out.'' He told her as Lina moved forward shakily. She placed her hands on the legendary blade trembling slightly until she felt Naruto place his hands on hers. He gave them a squeeze as Lina took a deep breath and pulled the sword out of the pedestal as blue light encompassed them and a portal from above opened. The two appeared in a large chamber with some sort of blue substance surrounding them. Some sort of sphere encompasses around Lina and she fell asleep. Naruto would have panicked if he didn't knew this was bound to happen. He moved forward along the stretch and made his way to a temple similar to the temple of time and opened the doors. Their on a pedestal was the Triforce.

''I knew if I followed you kids you would lead me to my desire.'' He said as he shot Naruto in the ball with a ball of energy.

Naruto fell to the ground as the Gerudo king made his way over to the Triforce and picked it up from the Pedestal. ''At long last ultimate power is finally mine…I thank you brat now that I have the Triforce I'll just end your life quickly as a thanks.''

''As long as there is breath in this body you won't succeed.'' He said as he appeared in front of Ganondorf in a flash and grabbed the Triforce. A blinding light erupted as the sound of the Triforce breaking in three filled the sacred realm.

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A week later

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''Naruto…you finally awakened.'' Said the red haired girl.

''Huh?''

''It's me Malon are you ok? What happened and where is your friend Lina?''

''Lina?''

''Naruto what's wrong?''

''Whose Naruto?''


	7. In the Temple of Time

Heroes Across Time Abridged

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I would like to get a shout out to Adamswestlapdog from Youtube. A lot of the material here is based off his abridged series, so credit goes where credit is due. But of course with a female link it couldn't be all that much.

0

Warning

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This will be far more perverted and violent. Meaning random Lemons, some small, swearing and violence. No one under 18 should be reading this.

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Naruto xHarem

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A reunion was all that the scene that be-fold could be described as. Both members were entranced by the changes each went through. The attraction was both obvious and there but now was not the time since others were present.

''I am Rauru, one of the ancient Sages...Ages ago, we ancient Sages built the Temple of Time to protect the entrance to the Sacred Realm... This is the Chamber of Sages, inside the Temple of Light... The Temple of Light, situated in the very center of the Sacred Realm, is the last stronghold against Ganondorf's evil forces. The Master Sword-the evil-destroying sword that you pulled out of the Pedestal of Time- was the final key to the Sacred Realm…The Master Sword is a sacred blade which evil ones may never touch... Only one worthy of the title of "Hero of Time" can pull it from the Pedestal of Time... However, you were too young to be the Hero of Time... Therefore, your spirit was sealed here for seven years. And now that you are old enough, the time has come for you to awaken as the Hero of Time!''

''I think so.''

''But, remember... Though you opened the Door of Time in the name of peace... Ganondorf, the Gerudo King of Thieves, used it to enter this forbidden Sacred Realm! He obtained the Triforce of Power from the Temple of Light, and with its power, he became the King of Evil...His evil power radiated from the temples of Hyrule, and in seven short years, it transformed Hyrule into a world of monsters. My power now has only little influence, even in this Sacred Realm...Namely, this Chamber of there is still hope... The power of the Sages remains. When the power of all the Sages is awakened... The Sages' Seals will contain all the evil power in the void of the Realm...I, Rauru, am one of the Sages... And... Your power to fight together with the Sages makes you the Hero of Time! The Hero of Time, chosen by the Master Sword!Keep my spirit with you... And, find the power of the other Sages, and add their might to your own! Together with our power along with the help of Naruto the Golden fox the guardian of the Hero of time will vanquish the evil that has descended upon this land will be driven back. Find the other Sages and save Hyrule!''A golden medallion descends from the air into Lina's hand.

Navi then carefully spoke. ''Lina...we're back in the Temple of Time... But have seven years really passed?''

''Trust me...Though I can't remember what the hell has been going on I know a lot of time has passed.''

''Psst...there's someone right behind us,'' Navi warned.

Lina spun and threw the Master Sword narrowly missing the figure.

''What the fuck is wrong with you?'' The masked person saying taking the master sword and throwing it towards them, for Lina to catch.

''Wow Lina...after all these years your aim still sucks.''

''Fuck you Naruto.''

''You did...twice before we left. Though I'm pretty sure our noises caused that old man to have a heart attack.''

''Hello...over here,'' The person said in annoyance.

''Oh right...the fake shinobi.''

The elderly sage groaned. ''I've been waiting for you, Hero of Time...Golden Fox.''

''Holy shit...I told you we had a stalker.''

''I'm not a stalker!''

''You were waiting for us, you knew our names. I'm going with stalker.'' Naruto impishly remarked.

''Naruto can you let the person talk.'' Lina conveyed her annoyance.

''Fine...but it better be damned important.''

''Now as I was about to say before. I came to give aid to the only ones that can save this world…''

''Abbot and Costello?'' He was promptly elbow in the ribs by Lina.

''Continue please.''

''...When evil rules all, an awakening voice from the Sacred Realm will call those destined to be Sages, who dwell in the five temples.''

''Like the five sacred stones?''

''That is correct…One in a deep forest...One on a high mountain...One under a vast lake...One within the house of the dead...One inside a goddess of the sand...Together with the Hero of Time and Golden Fox, the awakened ones will bind the evil and return the light of peace to the world...This is the legend of the temples passed down by my people,the Sheikah. I am Sheik. A Survivor of the Sheikahs…As I see you standing there holding the mythical Master Sword. You really do look like the legendary Hero of Time... If you believe the legend, you have no choice. You must look for the five temples and awaken the five Sages…'''

''You mentioned that the first sage was in the forest…Do you know the identity of this Sage? Is it a she? Is she hot?''

''I'm afraid I can't help you there…The forest sage is one who lives among the forest...''

''Yeah no shit!''

Sheik's eye twitched and she had to stop herself from going for her kunai pouch. 'Goddesses give me strength,' She mumbled. ''...The sage awaits for you by the promised place.''

'Saria' Both Naruto and Lina thought simultaneously .

''Because of the evil power in the temple, the safe cannot hear the awakening call from the Sacred Realm...Unfortunately, equipped as you currently are, you cannot even enter the temple... But, if you believe what I'm saying, you should head to Kakariko Village…''

''So the item we seek must be in Kakariko village then.''

''Uum I could probably just use some tree-walking like chakra climbing tactics or a clone kagebunshin ladder combo or something. I think I saw the entrance of the tem...''

''No...you must go to Kakariko and get the item. Before you go I have a song to teach you. It's power will add you in the quest. It goes by the name Prelude of Light.''


	8. Rump in the Forest

Heroes Across Time Abridged

0

I would like to get a shout out to Adamswestlapdog from Youtube. A lot of the material here is based off his abridged series, so credit goes where credit is due. But of course with a female link it couldn't be all that much.

0

Warning

0

This will be far more perverted and violent. Meaning random Lemons, some small, swearing and violence. No one under 18 should be reading this.

0

Naruto xHarem

0

Story Start

0

You would figure a duo on the quest to save Hyrule would be making haste to save Hyrule. They weren't in fact they were screwing like rabbits. Naruto had Lina pinned up against a tree.

''Harder!'' She cried out as her legs locked firmly around Naruto. He continued to thrust inside of her causing her to whimper.

''Damn Lina! Your pussy is so wet,'' He said as he continued to slam into her.

''That's it baby! Fuck me harder!''

At Ganondorf's castle. ''God damnit! And to think it took me seven years to figure out this wasn't the Ocarina of time.'' Crushes Saria's Ocarina. ''It looks like it but another…The song of the Hyrule Royal family that dates back to Antiquity. The echo of the Ocarina which times play upon…You did it brats…Do you think it's true that one of those kids is the hero of time Stalfos.''

''The girl was that one who held the Master sword…yes L-Lord Ganondorf.''

Young tan woman in blue: ''You should have killed them then heheheh.''

Young Tan woman in red: ''So, one of them has the Ocarina.''

''Dispose of them before the girl masters the sword and strip them of the Ocarina…Come out my shadow…Phantom Ganon.'' A figure in armor and a skull for a head emerges from darkness.''Get their before they awaken the sage and kill them.''

''Uuh sire...we could kill them right now...look!'' A minion said pointing to the cauldron.

It showed Hyrule field and sure enough there were the two blonds. ''I prefer my way better...now leave me be!'' Ganondorf said slamming his hand. 'Fuck! I think I injured my alone time hand.'

''What was that sire!''

''You heard me now leave...go get some prostitutes and bring them here while you're at it.''

The next day.''You're going to be fine right?'' Naruto asked Malon with much concern for the tenth time.

''Yes…my father... will be here to... look after me ...but you have much to do... She needs you more then I do right now.''

''I know…just don't push your self to hard ok.'' He told her.

''I won't…now get out of here whiskers the sooner you leave... the sooner you'll come back.''

''Maybe we should...finish up first,'' He said with a groan as Malon continued to bounce up and down on him.

''Yeah,'' she moaned. ''Good idea

0000

During Naruto and Linika's Absence. Abridged version.

0

All the Kokiri pretty much acted like bitches when the monsters came. They hid in their houses and pretty much complained all day. When the Deku Tree died all the monsters held back came. Some of the Kokiri like the rock humper was eaten by Deku Babas. Saria being the kick ass person that she was took Naruto's training to heart and started whooping some ass. It was safe to say that the insane laughter and the hacking of monsters meant no one was going to spar with her again. Also the cry of a thousand years of pain and shoving a wooden stick up a monster's ass gave her a reputation among friends and monsters alike.

Saria went to the sacred meadow and see if Naruto would returned...seven years... since she had some...after the mistake of using a wooden sword she decided she could wait. An afternoon of piling out splinters thought her a very painful lesson.

Each day hoping he had the answer to what was going on. She was glad for one thing that her favorite spot seemed to be a safe spot. None of the monsters or the Moblins ever seem to invade the area despite how loud she played her Ocarina. She looked at the it and sighed. It was as pretty as the one she had given Naruto and Lina but it played just as well. Her thoughts was interrupted as she heard the noise of bushes rustling causing her to jump. Why did she have to be so careless when she came here?

Just because no monsters came in the past didn't mean that they couldn't come now. Saria slowly backed away from the moving leaves as she feared more and more that it was something hostile. It moved really quickly, and was aimed directly toward her. If it didn't have her as a target, it was going to run right into her anyway. She began to move to the right a little bit, only to find out that the thing had shifted its course the second she relocated herself.

Now there was no denying it: something was coming for her. She didn't know what it wanted, and now she was beginning to think that it was probably not a Mad Scrub, since they didn't have the determination to run from that far away just to harm a lone Kokiri. It wasn't a Moblin either, since she would've seen it by now with its large physique and height. Was this some kind of new monster? She was too terrified to form a plan of attack. Then the figure burst out of the bushes as she screamed and shield herself She expected to be either pelted with rocks and nuts, or maybe even eaten alive at this very moment, but all there was just silence. She opened her eyes, and she saw it. Not a fraction of her eyelids covered her eyes, and her jaw dropped from the roof of her mouth. She couldn't believe who was in front of her, brushing some of the dirt off of his clothes. It was…

"…Naruto?_" Saria whispered to the figure in front of her._

"Ah, hello, erm…Saria," he replied. He looked at her with a smile. "It's been a long time, hasn't it?"

He looked just like when she last saw him. The same gleam was in his handsome, blue eyes, and his familiar grin was still there, greeting her warmly. But there was something…wrong…he looked to be about the same age as before. Exactly how she last saw him but she knew from his stories that Naruto aged or at least shifted ages…Also he didn't feel like him but it had been several years sense she last saw him so maybe she was being paranoid.

''Sorry I scared you…though I'm happy to see you again.

She then dropped down to her knees. ''You have no idea how long I've been waiting for this.'' She pawed at him only for him to back up.

''Whoa hold on there...aren't you curious as to why the other one isn't here? Lina?''

''Lina? Screw Lina she's had you to herself for seven years...I want some now,'' She tackled him to the ground. Naruto pushed her off.

''Hey...oh playing hard to get eh?'' She said with a predatory smile. ''I'm a big bad Lioness and I plan on eating you up,''

The Naruto in front of her backed up. ''N-N-Now listen Saria...can't we just talk?''

''What's wrong with you Naruto? You're acting as if you were...''

''What?''

''Oh Goddesses all the signs were there...how could I haven't seen it.''

'Alright fine I'll admit it...the truth is...I'm...''

''You're not Naruto!''

''Wait what? Oh yeeeah...right...I'm not Naruto...''

''Wait...what were you about to...dude are you?...''

''I'm not gay...I'll prove it..You're coming with me…" he whispered as he smiled, revealing nasty, razor-sharp teeth. He abruptly ran forward in Saria's direction, snarling like a wild animal. Saria screamed as loud as she could as he lunged at her, her cries echoing off of every tree in the Lost Woods…

Current Time in the Kokiri Forest.''It's hard to imagine it being seven years.''

''You'll get over that soon enough trust me...Besides we got the hookshot so were supposedly able to get in now.''

''Couldn't we just have used your clone ladder thing with the clones just as well?''

Naruto looked at Navi. ''Ass...you could have brought that up sooner. ''

''Well mister I've been doing this stuff for years excuse the hell out of me.''

''Uugh guys...''

''Hello...only friends of Saria may get through.'' Said a brown haired Kokiri.

''Fuck you guy...whose going to stop us? You?''

Shot gun loaded sound. ''Perhaps I wasn't clear?''

''Riiiiight...Lina...Navi...on my signal...''

''I can still...''

Naruto threw his shield at the Kokiri knocking him out. ''RUN!''

At the Forest Temple. ''Sheiks a bastard! First of all the ass-hole is copying me. I'm the original Ninja kami damnit! Then he teaches us a song that he could have earlier to save us time in getting here...but does he do it...noooooooo...ass-hole.''

''Are you going to continue to bitch about Sheik or are you going to help me save the forest sage?''

''Hey Lina...want to...''

''I'm not having sex with you in a danagerous temple filled with monsters that's trying to kill us...remember last time?'' she asked as she recall what happened last ime.

_Naruto and Lina were moaning in ecstasy as she rid him. ''Almost there...I'm almost there.'' She moaned bouncing on him._

_''That's right...Lina...I'm about to...''_

_''AAAGHHHHHHH!''_

_''Holy shit!'' he screamed as she was hoisted off by a wall master._

''Yeah...that really sucked...I haven't been right sense then...''

''YOU! YOU HAVEN'T BEEN RIGHT! YOU'RE NOT THE ONE THAT FUCKING THING TRIED TO FINGER!''

Everyone enemy in the Temple came rushing into the room.

''Wow...way to go Lina.''

''Suck my dick!''

One epic battle later.**''At last...you fools have,'' **Phantom Ganon was interrupted as Naruto ran over and dropped kick him off the horse.

''Sweet...hey Lina want to do it on this horse?''

**''How dare you...aggh...my eye!'' **He was shot in the left eye by Lina, courtesy of fairy bow.

''Huh...what you mean like Reverse Cow girl?''

''Yeah...that would be great.''

**''I shall make you...aYHAAA! Again with the fucking eye!''**

****He was shot in his other eye. ''What's with the monster phantom thing screaming like a chick?''

**''I'm not gay..''**

****''Right...hey dude want to join us?''

**''You blinded me you bastard...why should I help you?''**

****''I'll give you Ganondorfs eyes so you can see again.''

**''He did sent me here to this shit-hole...deal.''**

0

Some Time Later

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The forest sage turned out to be none other then that Fado girl. As for thanks for saving her Saria gave Naruto a hell of a blow-job.

Phantom Ganon unfortunately didn't make it as the Kokiri finally grew fed up and decided to fight back. How did a Phantasm get beaten to death with sticks? One would never know...

A Day Later. ''I…I'm sorry.'' He told a teary eyed Saria when he told her in twenty four hours he and Lina would leave again soon to save the rest of Hyrule. Seven years had nearly broken her spirit and she didn't know if she could bear losing her best friends for longer. He didn't bother to stop her from running out of the door and knew it was going to be hard he just wished that things would be simpler

With Saria later that night. "Oh Din, Nayru, Farore, please, hear me. Upon my birth, you let me be a Kokiri, a girl of the forest, immortal, to live a happy, carefree life. But then, you put Naruto in my life, and I fell in love with him. He is not from this world and is not bound by the forest. I don't think I can bare being apart from him any longer so I beg of you, please take away my immortality. I do not care the penalties of death, I want to be with Naruto for as long as he lives. ! PLEASE! TAKE MY IMMORTALITY! MAKE ME A MORTAL!" Saria screamed it to the goddesses in the heavens. After she had no response, she fell down crying terribly, realizing how selfish and spoiled this made her.

"Why does it have to be like this?" She cried herself to sleep.

Elsewhere Farore stepped out in front of them peering over the sleeping Kokirian.''She loves him so much. To think she would give up immortality to be with the person that she loves.''

Nayru: ''Well it is Naruto…It's easy to see why even the lady sisters speak so highly of him. ''

Din: ''Let's just go ahead and get this over with. '' said hotly with a tone of jealousy.

Farore: ''Settle down sister this won't take too long.''She said as she placed her hand on Saria's chest as a glowing green light radiated around her. ''Their she is now a Hylian but the price she gives is the connection with this forest.''

The sisters them left as Saria turned around. Her chests gaining two cup sizes in the process.


	9. Fiery Madness

Heroes Across Time Abridged

0

I would like to get a shout out to Adamswestlapdog from Youtube. A lot of the material here is based off his abridged series, so credit goes where credit is due. But of course with a female link it couldn't be all that much.

0

Warning

0

This will be far more perverted and violent. Meaning random Lemons, some small, swearing and violence. No one under 18 should be reading this.

0

Naruto xHarem

0

Story Start

0

Death Mountain lived up to its name tonight.

The rocky trails of the mighty crags rose up before them, but the air was different. It was cold, with biting winds that were uninviting. An emptiness hung in the air and permeated the stones, draping over his shoulders, putting them ill at ease. Those swirling clouds around the peak cast everything in a harsh reddish glow, and faint drifts of ash descended from the volcano's crown, even at this low altitude.

The one good part about being on edge was that it meant they wasn't surprised when the ground sprouted teeth and started trying to eat them.

Navi's warning came a half-second before her hand was rising, the Master Sword leaping from its sheath as legs and teeth snarled and skittered out of the dirt on all sides. She whirled, striking at the first body he saw - four long, insect legs, surrounding a wide, flat body of red chitin and caked in dirt. The divine blade slit the little beast in half, and as its parts scattered, the thing burst into black flames.

No surprise. Ganondorf's creations.

The sword struck two more times, slaying a beast with each cut, before Lina had to break off and fall back. There were a dozen of the monsters slithering out of the ground, and as soon as they burst free of the dirt, they were leaping at her in long, vicious bounds.

''Go on ahead…I'll take care of them,'' Naruto said as he pulled out the Katana and sliced the insect in half. Lina nodded as she continued up the mountain hacking and slashing her way through. The creatures seemed rather simple minded as they attack head first always meeting with her shield.

It took them mere minutes to finish off the insect invaders.

''Well…we better hurry and go,'' Naruto said as they continued up the mountain to face Volvagia. Naruto could only hope that Lina would have the heart to fight her former pet.

0

Time Skip (Skipping the part where we meet Darunia's Son)

0

''It's a good thing that kid had those heat tonics,'' Naruto said as he and Lina looked

"You see the Temple anywhere?" Lina asked, walking along the cliff, but keeping a respectful distance from it. The last thing she wanted was to tumble into that mass of liquid heat beneath her.

''Nope,'' Naruto answered.

''Why don't you try using your eyes?'' She asked as her eye twitched.

''Yeah I could but where would be the fun in that,'' He said as Lina took a deep breath and tried not to hit the blond with the blunt end of her sword.

''Hey Navi, can one of you go fly out and find the temple.''

''I got a better idea…how about I don't.'' She answered.

''Lazy bastard,'' Naruto muttered as he whirled around and threw several kunai. A girlish scream was heard.

''What the hell! What is wrong with you!'' Shiek asked/yelled as the mysterious walked forward.

''Hey Lina check it out it's the pile of muscle and testosterone Shiek,'' He said.

Lina could have sworn he saw Shiek's eye twitched.

''Well one, we have Ganondorf trying to kill us and two you were trying to sneak up on us…plus I'm a fucking Shinobi enough said.''

''Could have been a Gerudo,'' Lina added. ''I see the way they train…don't want to fight any of them any time soon.''

"They are Ganondorf's kin," Sheik appearing beside her.

''Shit!'' Lina yelled as she jerked. ''Don't do that…anyway we need to reach the Fire Temple,'' She said peering through the expense. ''Can't see anything through the heat and Naruto's being an ass right now so can't count on him.''

''Oh up yours...''

''I'm afraid the bridge was destroyed by Volvagia after Darunia entered.''

''Huh…guess we can't ask him then…ok you know what…I think I can summon a flying summon…that could work,'' He said as Lina face palmed.

''Damnit,'' Groan ''that's…the…type…of…thing…you…point…out…earlier,'' Lina said gritting her teeth. ''So Sheik could you just teach me the song before I kill Naruto?''

"This song is called the Bolero of Fire," Sheik explained. "It is devoted to the passion and fury of the heart." Fingers continued playing streams of music, and Linika closed his eyes, listening intently.

The Ocarina rose to her lips, and she started echoing the melody. The song poured into her and she saw the fires burning outside, even with her eyes firmly shut. They burned, savage and intense, unquenchable and hungry. The song itself seemed to light up as he drew closer to properly synchronizing with Sheik's own fingers.

Somehow, through the two instruments and the anger bubbling in his heart, Lina could still hear Sheik speaking.

"Passion is both a powerful tool and a dangerous cancer," Sheik was saying, voice hopping between the notes and dancing inside Lina's mind. Tingles ran up and down her spine as she felt the music, now flowing out of her, almost of its own accord.

"It can drive you to acts of impossible bravery and selflessness," the voice continued, "...or it can damn you if you let it run unchecked. You have to be careful, tempering your passion with all other feelings and emotions. Rational thought must balance your fury. Otherwise, this war is over before it begins."

The music stopped, and Lina opened her eyes.

She stood on a wide platform, made of solid marble, with the Triforce emblem marked on it. In the center of the triangles was the Goron sigil.

Before her, looming out of the cliff face, was a structure, carved of the fiery rock of the crater. It was large but nondescript, blank stone walls surrounding an unassuming black tunnel entrance.

Sheik was nowhere to be found.

''Ok let's head out,'' Naruto said as he walked forward.

'_Now I know he's doing this on purpose.'_

The heat had lowered as the temple expanse shield them but it wasn't that match.

The light at the end of this passage was brighter, and wind gusted past him as he hurried up the corridor, toward the orange glow. Lina found himself emerging into a wide, open chamber with a set of stairs leading up to a platform before an enormous altar covered with blazing candles and surrounded by torches. Leering dragon heads were cut into the walls amidst what looked like stylized Goron faces.

"Which way do you think Darunia went?" Lina asked, and Navi muttered something under her breath.

''I would assume north but through some crazy ass and unexplainable reason were not going to be able to fight Volvagia directly and will have to solve several puzzles for some unexplained reason,'' He said turning to her. He saw the sadness in her eyes when he mentioned Volvagia. He figured that the Volvagia he bought for her was being used as an Avatar for it's ancestor.

They moved to the next room as the stench of sulfur and brimstone stunned their senses.

There was a huge chamber beyond, with a platform in the middle of a crimson lake of simmering magma. The bubbling, molten rock clawed at the massive carved platform, and leering stone stalactites hung from the ceiling like the teeth of the malevolent fire spirit they had driven off. There was a stink lurking in the room, beyond the simple nastiness of the lava - something foul and unnatural, just like what they'd felt in the Forest Temple.

"Darunia?" they asked entering another room. The massive Goron frowned. He seemed to have grown even taller since they had last seen him, though now the Hylian and Hybrid could see past his chest instead of just his navel.

"Huh?" the Goron chieftain asked, confused. "Do I know you, humans?"

"You should.''

''Yeah really,'' They answered removing the cloaks that were wrapped around their faces to protect them from the Heat.

''Brother Naruto! Sister Linika!"

Next thing they knew they were pulled into a bone crushing hug by the Goron.

"Seven years!" he yelled, releasing them, as they staggered to the floor. "Seven years! Where have you been hiding, huh?"

"Napping," Lina replied, and the Goron boomed another cheerful laugh.

"I hope it was a good rest, because we're in for an adventure up here!" he rumbled.

"Ganondorf planning to feed the rest of my brethren to Volvagia, to appease the dragon and send a warning to the rest of the remaining Gorons."

"He will only earn our hammers to his skull for this!" Darunia replied firmly. "But first we must deal with that fire dragon."

''Wait…I heard of a legend during my travels…of how a Hammer was used to kill the dragon in the past.'' Naruto added.

"The Megaton Hammer," he said. "Forged by our ancestors and wielded by a mighty hero of our people. It was specially enchanted with runes of vengeance upon Volvagia itself." He peered into the chamber Lina had opened, and shook his head.

"But I fear we do not have the time to find it, and save my people all the same," he added. "The hour of Ganondorf's ultimatum for our surrender is upon us."

"He wanted you to surrender?" Lina asked, and Darunia grunted.

"He does not understand the Goron people," he growled, his voice like scraping boulders. "We shall fight to the last breathe escape our bodies! But we cannot abandon our kin either,''

''But you don't have the hammer,'' Naruto pointed out. ''And your on your own.''

"You're going to take on Volvagia yourself," Links put together knowing what he was going to do. "Ganondorf hoped you would send your army after the prisoners and let them get slaughtered by the fire dragon."

"I will not let Gorons who may live die after Gorons who are doomed," Darunia said, and "But I will not accept this fate for my people, not while I can do what I can to avert it!"

They understood. Darunia was being crushed between his honor and his duty as the Goron leader, being forced to choose between abandoning the prisoners to their fates or risking his entire army against Volvagia. Instead, he had chosen to fight both eventualities, but that meant . . . .

"You really think you can defeat Volvagia on your own?" Lina asked, and Darunia was silent for several moments.

"No," he admitted after a while. "Not without the Megaton Hammer. But there is no time to scour the Temple for it. I must face Volvagia now or doom my captured Brothers. The dragon hungers, and if it is not delayed, it will soon feed."

"Not alone," Naruto said stepping forward and slapping Darunia's shoulder he looked back down at Link, and smiled.

"You've gotten a lot tougher since I last saw you, Brother," he said. "I will not ask you to help me with this, though," Darunia added. They could hear the fatalism in his voice. "Instead, I would ask you a final favor, Siblings.''

"What?" Lina asked, not liking his tone. Darunia didn't expect to live through this, he could tell.

"Find and free the other prisoners while I delay Volvagia," the huge Goron said, pounding his fists together. "Free them from this cursed Temple." He gestured to the other door. "I know some of this Temple's layout from the old maps. There should be a lift beyond the room that way that leads to the level where they are holding my kin. But I am not sure; I haven't had time to explore much."

"You can't defeat Volvagia on your on," Naruto said, shaking his head.

"I don't need to," Darunia replied with a grim smile.

"You won't survive facing it without the Hammer," Lina added, and the Goron nodded.

"I've already accepted that," he replied.

''Lina let him go,'' Naruto said realizing it was futile. ''We have to save the others first,'' He said knowing that they were wasting valuable time.''

"Good luck," Lina offered, and Darunia nodded. He gestured to the door Naruto and Lina stood at.

"Volvagia lurks beyond," he rumbled. "That chamber is where it makes its lair. Should you save my kin and find the Hammer, you'll know where to find me."

With that, the Goron chieftain gave them one final look, and grinned, before moving through the doorway and into the chamber beyond. he clenched his fists, and Lina heard his knuckles cracking like stone chipping off a granite wall.

"Good luck," Lina said again, as she turned to Naruto.

A couple of hours later. 'MC Hammer?'' Lina asked as her eye twitched. They had managed to free the Gorons.

"Strangers!" called one of the Gorons, laughing and waving his hands at Link. "The people of Death Mountain owe you a mighty debt!" They nodded.

'''Let's go,'' Naruto said holding the Megaton Hammer which he dubbed MC Hammer. ''This should be easy.'' he said as they got ready to take on Volvagia.

''Lina shoot now,'' Naruto yelled as he used his strength to hold down the struggling Volvagia. The serpent was quick and it's claw and fangs were deadly not to mention in conjunction with it's flame breath. Lina aimed the arrow at Volvagia as her arms shook. Her memories of Volvagia kept her from taking the shot.

''Damnit!'' The blond swore as the dragon swatted him off using his tail.

''**Fools! You missed your chance now parish,'' **Volvagia screeched as she shot forward. Before it could reach her it was punched in the side and launched across the rock platform from a severely weakened Darunia.

_'_'Beast,'' pant ''did you,'' pant ''really think,'' pant ''I wo…'' Darunia fell down from the injuries he had received from fighting Volvagia.

''Can't you do anything right?'' A voice asked from above.

Naruto looked up to see it was Kuinishi.

''Kuiinshi…well I'll be…your actually going to help?''

''No not really…I came for my own selfish purposes…hit Volvagia with this…I need evil intentions of a dragon soul to power my new I-phone…don't ask,'' He said dropping the sphere into Naruto's hand.

''A little help here!'' Lina shouted.

Naruto turned to see Lina crouching behind her shield as Volvagia launched fireball after fireball sending her towards the edge.

''Ok MC Hammer…It's time,'' The blond said as he pulled out the hammer and threw it only for it to drop after going three feet. ''Oops!''

''God damnit Naruto!"' Lina shouted.

''Oh! Right! Got to use super strength!'' He stated as he picked it up and threw it with actual force this time. The hammer collided with Volvagia's skull. He then ran over and drove the sphere into his skull. Volvagia screeched as dark energy drifted out of him into the sphere.

''Ok…no,'' He was blasted by a stream of fire from Volvagia's mouth. ''Oow,'' Naruto said as he fell over smoking. ''Fuck my life,'' The blond groaned as he passed out.

A week later. ''Aah!'' Naruto groaned as he woke up. ''Damn…water is next…I hope Ruto isn't too angry with me,'' Naruto muttered as he thought about the past week. How the time was used to recuperate and morn for those who had died. The journey from here on then would only be harder.

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Chapter End

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I'll try to make the next chapter funnier. Unfortunately I already took a comedic route in the previous version. Though I plan on doing a Remake of this Heroes Across Time with more information.


	10. Tumble in the Water

Heroes Across Time Abridged

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Strongest Naruto in Fan fiction History

0

Narutox Female Link x GanonDorva(The sister)x Nabooru x Kotake(Young), Kotume(Youn) x Zelda x Malon x Saria x Daria x Ruto x Shisou x Midna and others.

0

0000000000

STORY START

0000000000000000

''Zora's domain. It's been frozen solid. I should have known something this would have happened after seeing the havoc the other areas went through.''

''No time to ponder about things. We have to go and free the next Sage.''

Lina and Naruto soon found themselves facing the frozen Zora king. ''I can't believe this…Naruto…''

''We saved the Gorons and Daria in time right.'' He turns towards her with a half-hearted smile. ''I'm sure we can do the same here.''

''Hey Naruto didn't you buy some blue fire? Doesn't that have magical properties?''

''Of Course! Navil you're a genius.'' He said unsealing the blue ember as it melted away the ice.

** ''Oh I've come back to life! Was it you who saved me? Don't be nervous!''**

''W…''

**''It looks like you have a hard time breathing an expression of my gratitude, I grant you this tunic. With this, you won't choke underwater.''**

''Huh..'' Holds up Zora Tunic. ''Isn't it convenient that…''

''Human shape tunics fit royal messengers and stuff like that anyw…''

**''Oh, I remember you…you're the lad that rescued my daughter…in fact I got special Zora armor she made for you, '' The King said giving him the Zora armor.**

''So I….''

**''Oh dear, my dear Princess Ruto…where are you?''**

Naruto turns to Lina and pull her to side. ''Ok seriously the insults of age and now being interrupted. It's official the people of Hyrule piss me off.''

''Stuff it we have to find the water temple…Now my instincts tell me it might be in the fountain area in the back.''

''Really? I think Lake Hylia is more likely.''

''You been referring to it as Lake Hyrule for several days before you learned the name…And you think the temple is there because?''

''You know what…were not discussing this anymore let's just go.''

Ice Cavern Entrance. ''AACHOOOO!'' Blows nose in handkerchief and tosses it in air so Naruto can burn it to ashes. She then receives another one from him.

''Well what do we have to say for our self.''

'Tuk Yu…AACOOOO!''

''Did you…did you just swear… ah never mind here just drink this.''

''Gllllaaagggh.'' She gurgled as Naruto force a potion down her throat making her feel better in no time. ''Wait…if you had a potion that cured colds why didn't you give it to me sooner?''

''It was funnier this way and two…''Ducks under the arrow shot at him. ''Ok someone has anger problems…Now let's go explore this cavern.''

One Mini Dungeon Later. ''Huh…no temple just a bunch of monsters and a metal boot no wait a pair of Iron Boots my mistake.''

''Your seriously becoming a pain in the…'' Sheik appears from the entrance/exit interrupting Lina.

''Seriously…I'm a shinobi… I can help you brush up on your stealth skills.''

''Ignore him…so let me guess your going to teach us a song to return to here… if you say yes I refuse to learn the song.''

''Actually no… If you came here to meet the Zoras, you wasted your time... This is all there is... With one exception, the Zoras are now sealed under this thick ice sheet... I managed to rescue the Zora princess from under the ice, but...she left to head for the Water Temple... This ice is created by an evil curse... The monster in the Water Temple is the source of the curse. Unless you shut off the source, this ice will never melt... If you have courage enough to confront the danger and save the Zoras, I will teach you the melody that leads to the temple. Time passes, people move... Like a river's flow, it never ends...A childish mind will turn to noble ambition... Young love will become deep affection... The clear water's surface reflects growth... Now listen to the Serenade of Water to reflect upon yourself.…'' Sheik said readying a Harp. ''Play the Serenade of Water.''

Serenade of Water (Play Wave Ocean from Sonic Next Gen) 'See you later Heroes.'' A flash from the deku nut radiated throughout the room and Sheik was gone.

''Well you heard the boss let's go.''

At Lake Hylia. ''Ok ok so the ice cavern wasn't a total bust because if we didn't have the Iron Shoes we wouldn't have been able to get into the temple.'' Naruto said as Lina pointing them to the cavern did help.

''Now was that so hard?''

''No…not as hard as converting your lungs to gills…hell learning to switch between the two in seconds took me over a bloody year.''

''Geesh don't you guys ever stop arguing?'' Navi asked in annoyance.

Tat: ''It's kinda cute their like an old married couple.''

''No were not!'' They both shouted then blushed and looked away.

''Right you guys keep…water clams 12 o'clock try hitting them with the hook shot to stun them…''

Tael then added. ''Then crush them with the Megaton Hammer.''

'Can do…I've been waiting to test out Mc Hammer.''

Lina and Navi: ''Stop calling it that!''

''No!'' He shouted out with child like exuberance.

Unknown to Naruto the moment he uttered that Ruto came into view but luckily for him she didn't here him.

''Lina is that you and you must be…'' Gasp ''Naruto?''

''Ruto?'' He said cocking his head taking in her changes…She was taller and more shapely…she had breasts…aaah breasts. '' You've grown…you've changed.''

''Indeed I have. I'm surprise you remember me.'' She said as her face softened.

''Of course you're my fiance, Ruto! Princess of the Zoras!''

''Oh really!'' She said with a tone that meant _'Your in the dog house'_.''I never forgot the vows we made to each other seven years ago! You're a terrible man to have kept me waiting for these seven long years...But now is not the time to talk about love... I'm sure you've already seen it! Zora's Domain-totally frozen! A young man named Sheik saved me from under the ice... But my father and the other Zoras have not...yet... I want to save them all! I want to save Zora's Domain! You! You have to help me! This is a request from me, the woman who is going to be your wife! Naruto , you have to help me destroy the evil monster in the Temple, OK?''

''Alright come down I'll do it…''

'' Inside the Water Temple, there are three places where you can change the water level. I'll lead the way. Follow me, quickly!'' She said as she swam forward.

''Wait so does this mean you've forgiven me?'' He asked getting no answer. They swam to the top and hit the switch changing the water level. They then dropped back down to the bottom as they went about switching the water levels gaining keys and clearing out the monsters. This temple by far was the hardest dungeon the travelers had ever encounter and they actually had to stop and take a break

'' This place is a freaking maze…where is that damn room where the enemy is at? I mean we got the key for the boss room.''

''That reminds me…did each race build their respective temple if so what the fuck were they on? I mean if the sacred stones were in there sure I understand but damn I mean what are the real points in temples anyway?''

''It isn't enough you left me waiting, that you gave my wedding present to you to another 'woman?'' Both Naruto and Lina looked confuse for a couple of seconds and looked at the Zora armor she was wearing above the blue tonic that allowed her to breath.

'_Oh hell' _Both the blondes thought.

''And now you insult me people! You are a dreaded person Naruto Namikaze humph!'' Gets up and leave.

''Wait Ruto I'm sorry I didn't mean…shit…I really stuck my fist in my mouth this time.''

''Don't you mean foot in your mouth.''

''That's a stupid saying…you can't put your foot in your mouth.'' (Why are we considered one of the smartest species but overall 1/3 of the things we do and say are among the stupidest fucking things ever conceivable.)

Outside the room Naruto heard Ruto's shout and saw her on the ground and one of those metal balls from before floating through the air with blood mixing with the air. He lunged at the creature with the Biggoron sword poised as he stabbed it killing it. ''Ruto are you ok? Where does it hurt?'' He asked as she pointed to her left which was punctured badly. He lifted it up causing her to whimper slightly. He then proceeded to heal it. ''I didn't mean to insult you or your people.''

''I know…''

''Then why did you leave?''

''I've been waiting…for you all this time. I thought you forgot about me…that you didn't care…that I wasn't good enough for you.'' She whispered the last part. If it wasn't for his sense of smell he wouldn't have been able to tell she was crying since they were currently in the water.

''Don't ever think that my princess… but there is something you should know.''

0

Insert Explanation

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''Are you willingly to give it a try?''

''I might have to convince my father but I'm willingly. After all you are the one I gave my most precious possession too.'' She said massaging his thigh.

''Ruto? Here? Now?''

''I've waited seven long years for you! You have no idea how much I want you right now.'' She said as she pushed him onto his back.

''You know if we're gone too long Lina will coming looking for us.''

''Then we'll have to make this quick now won't we?'' She said as her cold hand freed Naruto's erection from his confinement.

Decided to return the favor he inserted one of his fingers inside Ruto's opening and the result caused her to arch her back. Naruto inserted two more as her walls opened up adjusting to the intrusion and Ruto arched her back as she spasmed several times. Naruto then rolled them over so he was on top as his member rubbed against her soft and fleshy walls. "Take me, Naruto!, "she screamed. "Take me, now!" Naruto needed no further invitation slowly slid him self inside her as Ruto moaned. Naruto filled her completely as she groaned. He then slowly started to thrust in and pull out creating a set motion. He then pulled them into a sitting position which Ruto writhed excitedly as started to bounce up and down on him. ''Oh Nayru, so big!'' she moaned out as Naruto's member stretched her walls

''Oh fuck Ruto-chan your so tight.''' Naruto groaned out squeezing her ass and thrusting in her matching the rate of her ministrations. They both gave out a cry of pleasure at the new friction created. As Naruto continued plunging with each thrust hurling him into a new wave of pleasure. Ruto rode on, moaning and gasping in absolute pleasure. "Yes, yes, oh, yes…." Naruto didn't think the bliss could get anymore intense, but it did. Naruto thought his penis was going to burst when at last, an orgasm so powerful racked both their bodies that it made them both cry out in pain and elation.

''Come on let's get back.''

In the Morning.''Ugh I hey stop shaking me Lina.'' Naruto groaned.

''Naruto it's Ruto she's gone!''

''What!'' He shot up and looked around and sure enough she was gone. ''Damnit…shit the water guardian most have done this? We have to find her come on.''

Some time later. ''This place…It's feeling is odd yet familiar.'' He said as he slipped and landed on his hands doing a horizontal hand stand. ''The hell was that?'' He back flipped on his hands and step forward only to be stopped by a column of fire. ''LINA! It's a TRAP!'' He shouted catching her attention.

''Naruto!''

''Behind you look out!''

''Wh-crap!'' She yelled as she back flipped the strike. Sure enough it was a dark carbon copy of her with crimson eyes. ''What the hell! What kind of trick is this!''

''Lina fight it…you can beat it…this is what we trained for remember!''

''Right…'' She said drawing the Master Sword and slashed at Dark Lina who let out a pain screamed then exploded. ''Huh...that was anti-climatic.''

''Well she was a copy of you so...'''

'You know what. Shut the hell up Naruto. Just...shut up.''

They then arrived where the creature known as Morpha was. ''You guys! Watch out! That water isn't normal!''

''Ruto!'' He shouted to the unconscious Zora princess on the other side of the room.

''Wait…there's another Zora.'' She pointed and sure enough their was.

"Giant Aquatic Amoeba: Morpha" He said as the creature took the form of a giant tentacle. ''It's core…that sphere is it's weakness. It isn't safe just to approach it…you have to stun it.''

''I don't think it'll stand around and let us hit it with a Deku Nut.'' He said as he took out several and threw them only for the creature to sink back into the water. ''Shit this is going to be a pain in the ass.'' He said just then the tentacle grabbed Lina.

''Aaaaah Narutooooooo!''

''Hold On! Haste! Slow! Death…damnit it that doesn't work.'' (Some enemies and monsters are immune to certain spells like undead are unaffected by doom and death) He said as he sped up and slashed the tentacle catching Lina in one arm and dropping on the other side. ''Lina think you can draw out the core with the hook shot.''

''I can if you draw it's attention.''

''Can do…Blizzara.'' He said hitting the creature with an ice spell causing it to jerk up. Lina hit the core with the hook shot draw it out and Naruto slashed at it a couple times with the Biggoron sword killing it. ( I watched a video on you tube and yeah the guy beat him in 30 secs…the ass) ''No…No god damnit…THERE IS NO FUCKING WAY WE SPENT ALL THAT TORTUROUS ASS TIME IN THIS FUCKING TEMPLE GOING FROM SINKING TO FLOATING AND SWITCHING EQUIPMENT JUST FOR IT TO FUCKING DIE NOW!''

One pissed off Naruto later. ''Uum Naruto.''

''FU…Huh…Oh were at the chamber of Sages…Uum who are you?'' He asked who could obviously only be the Water Sage.

''I am Laris the Water Sage…I thank you both for saving my cousin and my people.''

''Whoa hold on Ruto's your cousin?''

''Ruto had a cousin? The sage is someone we actually didn't meet seven years ago?'' Lina asked.

''Indeed…in well Naruto has met me…something about hiding from a crazy blonde,''

She said as he winced practically feeling the evil eye Lina was giving him. ''Now I trust you will no longer step on her heart?'' She asked Naruto

''I never meant too…I lost my memory you know…''

''Even so please take care of her…I can tell that nothing will stop you in your quest for justice and peace... You must take this Medallion... Take it respectfully!'' She said giving them the Water Medallion. ''Take care of her ok'' She said as the two blondes were sent back to Hyrule.


	11. Dark Adventures and Cheating!

Heroes Across Time Abridged

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NarutoxHarem**  
**

0000000000

STORY START

0000000000000000

_A terrible thing has happened! The evil shadow spirit has-been released! Impa, the leader of Kakariko Village, had sealed the evil shadow spirit in the bottom of the well.... But the force of the evil spirit got so strong, the seal of the well broke, and it escaped into the world! I believe Impa has gone to the Shadow Temple to seal it again, but...she will be in danger without any help! Impa is one of the six Sages. Destroy the evil shadow spirit and save Impa! There is an entrance to the Shadow Temple beneath the graveyard behind this village. The only thing I can do for you is teach you the melody that will lead you to the Shadow Temple... This is the melody that will draw you into the infinite darkness that absorb seven time... Listen to this, the Nocturne of Shadow!!_

That was the message Sheik had given them. So now they were on their way to the Shadow Temple.

''Now with the Eye of Truth we'll be able to venture the temple.''

''Wait what...''

Naruto held up the purple wand thing with an eye. ''The Eye of Truth.''

''Where did you get that?''

''Well...''

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Flash back

0

''Aah yes thank you loop holes,'' Naruto said as he bought the Eye Truth from a much older of Lina.

''Seriously...how come I don't remember this when we were younger?''

''You know how time Travel is. How did we save Hyrule by defeating Ganondorf in the future. Never ask...get's way too confusing,'' He said sipping a cup of tea. ''Thanks by the way future Lina-chan. It would have been way too much of a pain in the ass to travel back into the past and get the item only after just arriving at the Shadow Temple which where we would have found out we needed it. I mean the only purpose in that would be to piss people off.''

''Is there some kind of rule against this? I mean Time travel wise...if I don't remember this then how did we initially get the item since you would have to buy it from a future version of me back then when I was the past version of well...me.''

''You know your quite coming dangerously close to 'Bob and George' type of Plot Holes observations and stuff. ''

''Hey she's right,'' Said the dark skinned teen next to him.''The bet was that you would 'fairly' aid the Hero of Time in her quest. Time traveling in the future and buying items is against the rules isn't it?''

''Screw the rules I have money.''

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Flash Back

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''Aah yes and not too long after I was sued by LittleKuriboh. Now wasn't that about a bitch.''

Lina was already going on ahead.

''What the hell! Hey get back here.''

The two of them entered the Shadow Temple and it was quite dark. ''Oh Farore, I hope there isn't any ReDeads in here.''

''Why? You don't like ReDeads?''

''.............''

''What?''

''..............''

''Why are you giving me that look?''

* * *

''You forgot didn't you?''

''Forget what? What did I forget Navi?''

-------

''Naruto!"' Was Lina's shrill shrieked form the other room.

Naruto rushed in, blade draw ready to whoop ass as he saw the sight. His blade dropped as his mouth dropped open in shock. Two Redeads were sandwhicing Lina. They didn't have any peniuses so techically they weren't sticking anything in. Were they...humping?''

''N-NARUTO!''

He cocked his head to the side. ''I'm shocked and disgusting...yet I can't look away.''

''SO HELP ME GODDESS IF YOU DON'T HELP ME RIGHT NOW I'LL F#$% KILL YOU.''

''Well I know someone who is going to need a shit load of therapy after this.

--------

''Oh yeah...'' He said then adorned a mischevious smirk. He silently crept up on Lina then gave a ReDead shriek. Lina not only screamed, but jumped an untold amount of height into the air, followed by a crash.

Naruto looked up and could have sworn he saw her outline through a roof peaking into another roof.

''Naruto...''

''Yeah Navi?''

''You know you're so going to hell right?''

''I know Navi, I know.''

After getting a most heinous beating by Lina they continued on.

Lina activated the Lens as they transversed through the temple.

They kept on going until they walked into a room and the door shut behind them with dungeon bars covering it. ''Why the hell does that…why is it.''

''R-Redeads!'' She screamed as the air filled with a grim chill and they shrieked causing her to freeze in place.

''Oh kami damnit more of you bastards.'' He said as he leapt into the air and smashed it to pieces with the Megaton Hammer. ''Now aww crap I'm stuck.'' He said as they turned their attention towards him. ''Uum Lina a little help here.''

Lina just blinked and finally shook her self free of the Paralysis. There was no way and hell she would allow herself to be 'violated' again. She had spent damn neary ten thousand Ruppies in therapy and several months worth of time to finally stop the nightmares. She would be damn if she let it happened again.

''Yeah I think it's going to take more then that.''

''Damnit it just give me…''

Navi from under Lina's hat: ''Why not try using those fire arrows.'' She said suggested as these were acquired when Lina tried to shoot one of those raven monsters out of the air but shot into the son, the result was these arrows. She pulled out one of the arrows and focused her magic on it as the tip lit a flame and she shot out several arrows into the ReDeads.

Now there was a walking flaming ReDeads.

''Way to go genius!''

''Up yours! It was Navi's idea.''

''I blame you!''

-----------

''Man I'm glad we somehow got out of there,'' naruto commented.

''Anyway…'' Opens the chest to find a map.'' Holy crap theirs actually maps in places like these? Damn that would have saved us a lot of time.''

------

''Seriously I could have sworn we killed him in that well.'' He said as he sealed Lina's boots as she placed on the Hover Boots.

''Ok ok I was there I believe you.''

''Ok but seriously…who the hell leaves items like these around or better yet how the hell did they set up these trails or whatever then managed to get out of the temple? Did they have the Lens of truth first if so how the hell were we expected to find it when the well was filled with water and another thing how the hell did we learn the Song of Storms, but yet didn't know it. I mean sure the windmill guy thought us.'' Throws kunai and kills another Skulluta. ''It's just doesn't make any damn sense you knoooowwwwww!'' Falls down into pit while Lina hovers over to the other side. ''You know what I'm talking about.'' Naruto said shushin right back to her location. They went through the door and shot and smashed the mummy to death. ''You know what instead of going through all the bullshit that you would had gone through without my help why don't I just send kage bunshin all over the area killing all the enemies and gathering items and when they find the boss room I'll just shushin us there.''

''Wait…your telling me you could have been doing this, this the whole time and your just now bringing it up! So help me goddesses if this is another one of your jokes.''

Naruto snorted indignantly ''The hell it is! I wouldn't want to go through this area or any other of those damn temples especially water when I could have just done this in the first place…Tajuu Kagebunshin no jutsu.'' 5000 clones created. ''Search out, kill, gather items, and find the boss.''

''Hai Boss!'' The clones said as they went out over the area.

''I love being me…'' After gaining their information Naruto yelled for a good three minutes then passed out muttering about the horror , sick twisted shit, and almost as bad as anything yaoi related images. (I really don't like Yaoi) They traveled the area killing Stalfos and a Like Like( Sheild/Tunic Eater) as they made it to the Yacht. The clones had then gone about the area until they finally found the boss key and killed some more skulltulla.

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Boss Chamber

0

Naruto and Lina landed to see two giant hands on the platform. The hands kept slamming onto the ground causing the two to be sent up into the air slightly. Then a giant red eye with an body attached to the darkness appears. ''Phantom Shadow Beast: Bongo Bongo''Navi stated, listing off weaknesses and strengths. The creatured slammed its fist into the grounds sending shockwaves.

''Shit those damn hands are throwing me off.'' He said as he saw Lina shoot them with one of the arrows.

''I'm not affected due to the Hover Boots , I'll stun the hands you take care of the eye.''

''Can do!'' As he rushed forward and threw a Deku nut into the creature's eye. He then pulled out the Biggoron sword and made several slashes until the creature shook it off. He back flipped a punch as Lina proceeded to stun the hands again. Naruto tried to throw a Deku nut but Bongo Bongo swayed to the side. ''What the fuck! The guardians get smarter now!''

''Try to catch it's attention. I can't use both my sword and the lens along with the bow to stun it.''

''Alright here we go…'' He said creating two clones both of them created a Rasengan and hit the hands sending them flying. ''Why the hell am I just now doing shit like this? Their must be something off about this particular world.'' He mused as Bongo Bongo rushed at him only for Lina to stun it. ''Ok screw this, this ends now Rasenshuriken!'' He yelled as he shredded the monster with the cellular destruction jutsu. A ring of light appeared.

''Wow that was…pretty damn easy.''

---  
After meeting yet another sage the two was on there way. ''Man...one last medallion...Ganondorf you dark bastard were coming for you.''  
''Do you have the feeling that the next temple is going to be a pain in the ass?''  
''When isn't a temple a pain in the ass.''  
''Touche Lina, Touche.'  
''You realized...''  
''Yes Lina...want to go get some pie before we go to the next temple?''  
''Sure why not...''


	12. Spiritual Delights!

Heroes Across Time Abridged

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I would like to get a shout out to Adamswestlapdog from Youtube. A lot of the material here is based off his abridged series, so credit goes where credit is due. But of course with a female link it couldn't be all that much.

0

Warning

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This will be far more perverted and violent. Meaning random Lemons, some small, swearing and violence. No one under 18 should be reading this.

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Naruto xHarem

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''Great the bridge is broken.'' Naruto murmured as they finally reached their destination. They would have flown with Volvagia but he was left behind to protect the Ranch.

''Maybe that guy over there is a bridge builder or something,'' Lina pointed out the mustached man.

''I got a better idea...do you trust me?'' He asked as Lina's eye twitched.

''HELL NO!'' She cried out.

''Too bad...'' He said scooping her up.

''PUT ME DOWN! DON'T YOU DAAAAAAAREEE!"' She cried out as Naruto launched her over the gap like a missle.

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Some Time Later

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''Damn Lina acting like she didn't know me…'' He grumbled as he was thrown in jail. Okay so maybe he shouldn't have thrown her which would piss her off enough to the point she would rat him out to the Gerudo, but still...thinking about the Geruto the Gerudo were like Amazonian women and were cold blooded. They would kidnap men to sate their pleasures and to have babies of course then once the men could no longer breed they would kill them. If the child was a boy they would raise him for breeding stock then kill him when he was useless. In other words he would be the object of lust and pleasure of a bunch of horny big breasted barely clad women…wait a minute._' Why am I complaining again?'' _He asked him self. ''Stay here and be ravaged by horny women or complete the quest , save Zelda , then come back and sate the lusts of the Gerudo women…Option 2 it is.'' He said as he leapt up to the ceiling on to the roof. He leapt across the ledge in went inside the door. He quickly decapitated two Gerudo's with a chop to the neck and went outside the window and climbed on top of the building.

He then swung inside another window and went to the cell room to see one of the carpenters. A Gerudo drops from the ceiling but he casts a stop on her and kneed her in the gut effectively knocking her out.

''Now to steel her panti-eer I mean her armor to disguise myself amongst the women.''

''But she's not wearing any armor.'' The effiminate carpenter said from his cage. ''Did you come here to save me? Oh, that's just swell! We were really interested in joining their all-female group, but they locked us up like this just because we're men! We don't care about the Gerudo anymore! They're so rude!'' The Carpenter said.

''Dumbass!'' Naruto muttered as he continued.

''HEY WAIT! What about me!''

''Don't care !'' He said turning the corner only to bump into Lina.

''Oh hey Naruto I was going to go see you just now, really.'' She said chuckling in a nervous matter.

'Screw off ass...'' He said then taking notice of the busty red-head. ''Why hello there...do I know you?''

''Quite impressive Naruto, I see your just as formidable with your memories.''

''Do I know you?'' He asked, his eyes focusing on her chests. ''Your breasts are familiar...so familiar.''

''My name is Nabooru leader of the Gerudo tribe.''

''Oh that's right...so since Ganondorf was a doucebag and all and left you all to die. You think you can like guide us to the temple or something.''

3 Days of anguished traveling later.

''It was nice of them to induct me into the tribe.'' Naruto said looking at the membership card.

''Right….You do realize it's just because you're a guy right? You know what they use guys for?''

''Your just jealous that Nabooru and…Aveli…Naveli or what ever her name is was fawning over me…and have bigger breasts.''

Whap!

''Ooow!'' Naruto whined as Lina sheathed her weapon. ''Damnit the Master Weapon is used for killing evil not abusing spouses.''

''Same difference...'' She said as they came across temple finally, only to find they were too big to get in.

_Writing 01: If you want to proceed to the past, you should return here with the pure heart of a_

_02: If you want to travel to the future, you should return here with the power of silver from the past._

''The first part I get…the second part I'm lost.'''

Nabooru: ''It obviously speaks of the Silver Gauntlets give the user great strength or so the legend goes.''

''Wait were suppose to make it back here 'in that state' how the hell are we suppose to do that?''

''Looks like the shoe is on the other foot.'' Drops down from above.

''Hey Naruto look it's the sixth Hokage Shiek,'' Pointed out as the other two blondes glared at her. ''What? He can crack jokes but I can't.''

''How dare you speak something so…blasphemous,'' Naruto said with a look hurt. 'I'm the sixth hokage damnit.' Naruto muttered.

''Moving on…Past, present, future…'' Kaepora Gaebora flies overhead. ''The Master Sword is a ship with which you can sail upstream and downstream through time's river... The port for that ship is in the Temple of Time...To restore the Desert Colossus and enter the Spirit Temple, you must travel back through time's flow... Listen to this Requiem of Spirit... This melody will lead a child back to the desert.'' Sheik readies a harp. '' Play the Requiem of Spirit!''

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2 songs and bastardizing of time travel later

0

''I haven't seen you kids around... What do you want?'' Nabooru of the past questioned.

''Nothing really…'' He answered as he just got a curious look from Lina whom me mouthed _'just watch.' _

''You have nothing to do? What good timing! Can you do me a favor? Wait a second, I want to ask you first-you wouldn't happen to be one of Ganondorf's...followers...would you?''

''If we could right now…we would kill him.''

''I would feed him to the first dragon I could find.'' _Wait a minute…aaw shit why didn't we take Volvagia to get here?_

''Uh-huh! You've two are a bit unusual but I think I like you. .First of all, let me introduce myself. I'm Nabooru of the Gerudos. I'm a lone wolf thief. But don't get me wrong! Though we're both thieves, I'm completely different from Ganondorf. With his followers, he stole from women and children, and he even killed people! A kid like you may not know this, but the Gerudo race consists only of women. Only one man is born every hundred years... Even though our laws say that the lone male Gerudo born must become King of the Gerudos, I'll never bow to such an evil man!''

''Good to know…the name is Naruto.''

''Linika…call me Lina though.''

''Nice too meet you two…Well...anyway...I want to ask you a favor... Will you go through this tiny hole and get a treasure that's inside? The treasure is the Silver Gauntlets. If you equip them, you can easily push and pull very heavy things!''

''Huh so that legend we heard about is true.''

''No, no, no, kid! Don't even think about taking this treasure for yourself! The Silver Gauntlets won't fit a little kids like you two, if you try to equip them! ''

''Ok fine relax you can have them…'' _Damnit it…now I can't use MC Hammer as a kid._

Ganondorf and his minions are using the Spirit Temple as a the Silver Gauntlets will allow me to sneak deep into the temple. Once there, I'm going to steal all the treasure inside and mess up their plans! How about it? Will you do it?''

''Screw it why not.'' _We need to get into the Spirit Temple anyway. Though it's probably going to take freaking forever to beat the damn boss not to mention…wait if we do the temple now that means…no wait crap that means that evil will be spread meaning that were going to have to do this temple twice…Son of a bi…_''Thanks, kid! You and I, let's give Ganondorf and his followers a big surprise, shall we? If you can successfully get the Silver Gauntlets... I'll do something great for you!''

0

Inside the Spirit Temple

0

It didn't take long for them to dodge the shield eaters, kill the wall masters and pushed the mirrors into their correct positions opening the path to the Silver Gauntlets. ''I still mad you didn't think of clones in the first place Naruto.''

Tatl: ''Wow she's never going to let you forget about this?''

''Not for a long, long time apparently.''

''Uum I can hear you guys,'' Lina said annoyed.

''Yeah and, your point?''

''Rrrraaaaghhhh'' A giant armor cloaked monster with a sphere roared as it appeared.

''What the hell! No way that damn monster looks like shredder…Now was he Super or Uber in Movie 2?''He side stepped the creatures attack.

''Damnit it stop pondering and help,'' Lina said dodging the creatures attacks.

''Lina Just freeze it with an ice arrow and I'll smash it to pieces with MC Hammer.''

''Whatever…'' She said shooting an arrow and freezing it's legs. It didn't take long for Naruto to smash it to pieces. ''The Silver Gauntlets…''

''Yep now let's go outside.''

''Huh…that was…Anti-Climatic.''

0

Outside the Temple

0

''Wow who know we were actually going to use the Sun's Song for something…Oh shi…''

'Hey what's up you two surprised to see me? It's been a long time in this world is almost nothing to you, is it? How mysterious! Even I thought that the tales of a boy who could travel back and forth through time was merely a legend. Lina , you have fully matured as an adult. From now on, the future of all the people in Hyrule is on your shoulders. Maybe it's not my time anymore. Here is my last advice. Two witches inhabit this temple. In order to destroy them, turn their own magic power against them. Hoo hoot! '' He said as he flew away.

''Hhm sounds like a perfect job for my reflect spell but for the interests of keeping things Canon I suppose the item we need is in the future?''

''Wait canon? What the hell are you talking about?''

''Hey! Where are you taking me? Yeearggh! Let me go!'' The two blondes look down to the temple's entrance. You, you fiends! Ganondorf's minions! Kids! Get out of here! Now! These witches! They're using black magic on me! ''

Nabooru was sucked into some kind of purple vortex. Two twins about in their twenties were on broom sticks cackling evilly. It didn't help in Naruto's case that they were attractive and he was having a flashback to a kinky session with one of his girls who was at the time being a 'bad witch.'' They removed the block then went in and sealed the entrance behind them.

''Damnit! Looks like we met the Spirit Guardians before hand which is a change of pace for once…let's go back to the future.''

0

Spirit Temple Future

0

''How the hell is a Mirror shield going to help us?'' Lina asked observing the new item we stole.

''Come on…with this our enemies won't attack us risking seven years bad luck. I mean theirs magic and demons and stuff why not bad luck.''

''Your not even trying anymore are you?''

''What are you talking abooouuut.'' Falls throw hole.

Lina waits there for about a minute and figured it must have been the boss room.

The witch named "Kotake" has a blue jewel on her forehead, while Koume's forehead bears an orange jewel.

''Ho ho ho! Looks like someone is here, Koume.''

'He hee hee! Looks like it, Kotake!'

'' To intrude so boldly into our temple... Ho ho ho!''

''We should teach them a lesson! ''

Twins: ''Oh, loyal minion... Destroy this intruder on our behalf!'' The Iron Knuckle stands from the throne on which it had sat, and raises its hands. It snaps its fingers, causing a giant double- sided axe to materialize from thin air.''Freeze and smash…''

''Right'' She said poising her arrow.

''WAIT!'' Sniff Sniff ''I know that scent…'' He said as his hand glowed white and he punched the iron knuckle to the other side of the room. It stood up and then collapse.

''Unnnh... Where am I...?'' Nabooru asked from the wreckage of the Iron Knuckle

Koume and Kotake reappear. ''Well, well... Looks like she's back to normal... Koume…''

'' She's but she commands a lot of respect among the Gerudo, Kotake…''

'' Maybe we should make we should place her under mind control…that way the Gerudos will surely follow Ganondorf again!' ' They launch magic at Nabooru only for Naruto to jump in front and block it with the reflect spell .

''Hhm this one can seem to be a problem.''

''If you want to beat us come to the lowest chamber.'' They disappear.

''You saved me…thank you.''

''Your welcome…Now it's time we beat those two witches.''

_Koume : With my flame, I will burn him to the bone!_

_Kotake : With my frost, I will freeze him to his soul!_

''Did you guys here that?'' He asked the girls.

''Here what?''

''Nevermind.''

0

Boss Room

0

?''Looks the fools have come to offer them selves as sacrifices to the great Ganondorf…'' Circles of fire and ice appear, from which Koume and Kotake respectively materialize.

''Lina use the mirror shield to reflect their magic at each other.'' He said but to his surprise they both jumped out and pulled out swords. ''Whoa hold…'' _Now that I think about it aren't they suppose to be old? Aaw shit they were smart enough to ask for eternal youth as well….were boned. _

Kotake: ''So brat think you can handle a woman like my self.''

Koume: ''Whoa hold up sister it's my turn to have fun you can have the two girls.''

''What! I don't think so.''

''As the older sister I should fight him.''

''Were twins quit lying about your age.''

''Their not seriously fighting about who gets to fight him are they?''

''When Naruto is concerned you learned not to be surprised.'' Lina deadpanned as she shot an arrow of ice at Koume.

''Rarragh you bitch I'll kill you.'' She said sending a blast of fire at Lina only for her to redirect it with the mirror shield at Kotake. This process went on for about a minute.

''Enough games!''

''OK, let's get serious now, Kotake!''

''Oh, OK, Koume.''

They fuse into a single entity Twinrova with hair made of fire and ice, holding two staves that correspond to an element. Twinrova winks at Naruto.

''Must…not….sucumb…to…**Aaw fuck it.**'' He said as his eyes turned red.

Everyone else looked at him like ''what the fuck.''

''**Ca**n**'t **hold **it any l**o**nger.'' **He said as his hair became feral and his nails grew long.

''**The Hell!''**

''Wait…is that. Damnit Naruto I told you to say some of that for tonight!"' Lina cried out upon seeing his erection.

''My my…'' Mouths water. ''Quite the catch.''

Naruto leapt into the air and pinned Twinrova to the ground crashing his lips upon hers.

''Naruto what the hell are you doing!'' She yelled blushing furiously not believing her companion was about to do 'that.'

''I think he's about to get laid.'' Nabooru stated as it was the most simple thing in the world.

''Your not helping!''

''DAMN! Look at that tongue?'' Nabooru said as she licked her lips.

Twinrova's moaning could be heard. Lina and Nabooru turned their heads to the side.

''How in the hell...legs aren't supposed to bend that way!'' Lina cried out.

''What is he doing with his pinky? That's just wrong!''

''Damnit Naruto I thought you said you didn't doing 'that' you lying bastard!''

''Damn...in a few years I'm definitely making him my sex slave!''

0

Time Skip

0

After awakening the sage of the spirit the group returned to the ranch. Obviously some things had to be explained and with that things seemed to be on track.

''We did it Lina…All the Sacred Stones…The Ocarina of Time…The Master Sword…Resurrecting the Sages…Now theirs only one think left to due.''

''I know…we have to kill Ganondorf.''

''Tomorrow is the beginning of the end…I'm going to round up the soldiers of Hyrule…Daria we need you to round up the Gorons…Ruto you the Zoras….Nabooru the Gerudos…Now the time has come for the races of Hyrule to unite and banished the darkness that threatens all of Hyrule.


	13. What we call a Showdown

Heroes Across Time Abridged

0

I would like to get a shout out to Adamswestlapdog from Youtube. A lot of the material here is based off his abridged series, so credit goes where credit is due. But of course with a female link it couldn't be all that much.

0

Warning

0

This will be far more perverted and violent. Meaning random Lemons, some small, swearing and violence. No one under 18 should be reading this.

0

Naruto xHarem

0

Story Start

0

''Hey! Where'd did Shiek go!'' Naruto called out in shock.

Both Zelda and Lina looked at Naruto in shock. ''Your joking right?'' The latter asked as Naruto looked up and peeked behind Zelda.

''Huh...well I had been drinking heavily before I arise here so maybe.''

''So can I continue?''

''Right...sorry about that.''

''I apologize for meeting you in disguise, but it was necessary to hide from the King of Evil. Please forgive me...I thought I should entrust the Ocarina to you... I thought that would be our best chance...As long as you had the Ocarina in your possession, I thought Ganondorf could never enter the Sacred Realm, but...something I could never expect happened...After you opened the door of time, the Master Sword sealed you away in the Sacred Realm...

Your spirit remained in the Sacred Realm...and then the Triforce fell into Ganondorf's hands. he went on to invade the Sacred Realm... Ganondorf had become the Evil King, and the Sacred Realm became a world of evil. All of this is an unfortunate coincidence. I passed myself off as a Sheikah and hoped that you both would return. I waited for seven years... And...now you are back. The dark age ruled by Ganondorf the Evil King will end! The six Sages will open the sealed door and lure Ganondorf backinto the Sacred Realm. I will then seal the door to the Sacred Realm from this world. Thus, Ganondorf the Evil King will vanish from Hyrule. Lina... In order to do this, I need your courage again. Please protect me while I do my part. And here is a weapon that can penetrate the Evil King's defenses... The power given to the chosen ones... The sacred Arrow of Light!'' She presented the arrows of Light and gave them to Lina.

The temple begins to tremble. ''That rumbling...It can't be!'' A crystal surrounds Zelda. ''Naruto!''

''Zelda!''

''Princess!''

**''Princess Zelda...you foolish traitor!I commend you for avoiding my pursuit for seven long you let your guard down... I knew you would appear if Ilet this kid wander around! My only mistake was to slightly underestimate the power of these kids…''No... It was not their power I misjudged, it was the power ofthe Triforce of Courage! But, with the Triforce of Wisdom that Zelda has... When I obtain these two Triforces... Then, I will become the true ruler of the world! If you want to rescue Zelda, come to my castle!''**

''No! BOOBS!'' Naruto cried out in distress. ''That bastard...no one keeps me from my hot elf chick with boobs now! No one!''

''What about me!'' Lina asked out in distress.

''Well hers is 'slightly' bigger.''

Lina's eye twitched as she punched Naruto out.

0

Outside Ganon's Castle

0

''So how the hell are we suppose to get into the castle?'' Naruto wondered as they were still bridgeless. ''I just thought of something. Why the hell didn't we hire that bridge builder by the Gerudo's valley? That would have made so much sense and saved time.''

''Why the hell do you always come up with smart and logical ideas before the situation past?''

''Probably the same reason why Ganondorf didn't trap us in the crystal thing like Zelda. Genre blindness is a bitch.

_Lina...can you hear me? It's Rauru, the Sage. We six will gather our power to create a bridge to the castle where Ganondorf dwells... The castle's keep, which is known a Ganon's Tower, is protected by six evil barriers. Bring down the six barriers and save Princess Zelda!_

_A bridge appears, formed by light of the colors associated with each sage._

''Naruto it's the sages…they've taken the care of the outside barrier but that still leaves the one inside.''

''Right…'' He said as several of the troops gathered. ''From this point on the two of us are going alone.''

''What!''

''You can't be serious.''

''We have to save the Princess!''

''ENOUGH!…'' It got quiet. ''Too many lives have been lost but no more…Naruto and I will save the princess , all I ask that you all wait here.''

''Well said…Saria, Malon, Ruto, Daria, Kotake, Koume, Nabooru,… Shisou'' He added the newly freed Sheikah as well. ''All I ask is that all of you wait for me…for us will be back.'' He said as he dashed forward.

0

Ganon's Castle

0

After hours of Hell and confusing traps and mazes they finally dispelled the barriers.

''Naruto…if we don't make it.'' She started to say but Naruto stopped and turned around.

''Well make it.''

''How do you know?''

''I just know we are. Were like Main characters Lina. Main characters never die and if they do they're always resurrected.''

''You live in your own happy little world don't you?''

''Why yes...yes I do.''

0

Throne Room

0

The room they entered did not look like much of a throne room, there was a door out one side, a throne at the opposite end and an organ on the right wall. At first Ganondorf, who was playing the organ, took no notice of them, then he paused and said.

"Just give me a moment I've nearly got this right!"

"Must think you're the guard," Navi whispered, Ganondorf continued to play the organ until finally he stopped a few moments later and turned to look at Naruto and Lin, his eyes narrowed.

"I thought you were one of the guards! Never mind this could be a lot more interesting." He looked at his hand and smiled. "The Triforce parts are resonating. They are combining into one again the two Triforce parts that I could not capture on that day seven years ago. I didn't expect one of the pieces to be with you brats! You might not have noticed but Zelda gave you the last part when I captured her, clever girl… or should I say foolish, it is not the first time she has done something to my advantage. I knew you would come and now, finally, all the Triforce parts have gathered here!"

He raised them as Naruto and Lina drew their swords and shields.

"These toys are too much for you!" Ganondorf snarled, on his fist they could see the triforce of power glowing a bright yellowy-red," I command you to return them to me!"

"Never," Growled Lina.

''You'll get them over my dead body,'' Naruto added.

Very well then," Suddenly a strange power grabbed hold of Lina, it felt as though her arm was being pulled forward by an invisible force,she struggled against it in vain, groaning as

she tried to get his free arm of the invisible grasp that had hold of it.

'_Lina; give the triforce of courage to us! Quickly before he gets it!' _Lina heard Raru's voice sound in her head.

'_Now Lina!_ Raru's voice came again,' more urgent.

''Guys his power is too great….''

''Sorry''

''We can't help you,'' The fairies told them.

''Since when do you guys ever!"' Naruto cried out.

The Triforce mark on Lina's hand disappeared but it did not go to Ganondorf, instead it went to the hands of the sages.

''You damn brats! Enough games I'll kill you for this!'' Ganondorf yelled as he checked his hand, "You'll pay for that!"

Ganondorf raised his hand and shot a blast of energy, like balls of electricity, at Lina who rose the mirror shield, it did not bounce off it this time, it just hit it with no effect.

"Very well if that's how you want to play!" Ganondorf rose his hands into the air, the room started to go very dark as Ganondorf summoned all the energy he could to release the magic on them. The shockwaves caused the initial ground around the center to follow apart only leaving the outside of rim of the floor in the room in attack.

''Lina use the sword I'll draw his attention,'' Naruto said as he shot out a stream of fire from his mouth lightning the evil king on fire. Ganondorf gave a shout as tore off his cape and thrown it to the ground.

''You call that power boy! I'll show you real power,'' Ganondorf said as he started creating a massive ball of black energy.

_'Lina the Light arrows…use the light arrows…'' _She heard Mido tell her.

She grabbed the bow from the waist bag, it returned to normal size. She aimed an arrow at Ganondorf, concentrating on the magic he wished to unleash and focusing all her strength on it. Before Ganondorf unleashed his attack Lina shouted, ''Light'' as she said it the tip of her arrow flashed with a dazzling light and Link released it, the arrow flew straight into its target.

Ganondorf fell groaning, Naruto leapt over the gap. He then started slashing away at Ganondorf who gave several gurgles cries as the Biggoron sword tore away at what flesh he could while the other slashes damaged the armor. Naruto leapt back as Ganondorf released a burst of energy,

"You're asking for it!" Ganondorf growled pulling out his huge sword; dashing at the blonde. Naruto brought up the sword to block it as Lina leapt over both gaps to join. To dark king found himself in a predicament as trying to fight off both fighters proved more then he could handle. Trying to harm one would lead him open to the other's attack and when they did either Lina would bring up the mirror shield or Naruto would dodge the attack.

''Lina now,'' Naruto said as he tossed the Megaton Hammer into the ground. Naruto hand was engulfed in lightning as he punched Ganondorf's arm sending electricity throughout it causing temporarily paralysis. It took only moments for the Triforce of power to overcome it but not quick enough as Lina caught the Megaton hammer, which was light thanks to the golden gauntles and smashed Ganondorf who flew into the opposite wall.

''Hand me the bow and arrow,'' He told her as he poised the arrow where at Ganondorf's chest while Lina closed the distance between her and Ganondorf. Naruto fired a Light Arrow further stunning Ganondorf as Lina tear into him with the Master Sword a couple of times before he blasted her back with a ball of light. Sounds of creatures echoed throughout the stairway. ''Shit!'' Naruto swore as Stalfos and Moblins began entering the room.

''Din's Fire!'' Lina shouted as she released the powerful magic attack burning the initial wave of creatures. More came as Iron Knuckles pour into the room as well.

''My turn,'' Naruto said as he opened his eyes revealing the Omnigan. ''Amatreasu,'' The blonde casted as the black fire erupted from his left eye colliding with the creatures burning them to ash and blocking off the exit to keep anymore from coming in.  
''Naruto look out!'' He heard Lina shouted as Ganondorf charged him with the intent to kill. Naruto brought up his hand as it glowed hot red. ''FALCON PUNNNCH!"' He cried out as his hand broke the blade in two. ''Holy shit I did not think that would work!''

''You damn brat! This is all your fault! I should have killed you when I had the chance! I'll kill you now!" The man said crazed as he was possess. The Triforce in his hand started to glow black as more and more of the Triforce of Power's Power flew through him giving him monstrous strength that was slowly over powering the blonde.

''As long as I'm alive you'll never achieve your ambitions,'' Naruto spat.

''Then you Di-aagh,'' Ganondorf said as he dropped his blade. He looked down to see the Master Sword sticking out of his body. On the other side was a nearly out of breath Lina.

''I wasn't the one you should have been worried out,'' Naruto said as he sheathed his blade. ''I was just merely the side kick nothing more,'' He smirked as Ganondorf fell to his knees and groaned.

"The great evil king Ganondorf," he gasped, "Beaten by children.''

He coughed up blood and chocked.

"Damn," he whispered before falling to the ground.

0

Outside the Castle

0

The redeads and creatures alike were being roasted by Volvagia's flame as the massive dragon flew over head attacking every enemy in sight. The Zora's used their power over water to extinguish the flame enemies as the Goron's used their mighty strength to crush the skeleton shoulders. Those who were not suited for battle healed those with injuries.

''**Traitors!'' **The creatures snarled as they ran towards Nabooru and the Twinrova sisters only to be crushed by several large rocks.

''Thanks''

Daria: ''No problem… is it me or is this becoming easier.'' She asked noticing the evil creatures numbers were dwindling.

''Darkness of the Embrace…The falling of the Eternal.'' A voice said as dark tendrils impacted from the ground crushing several large numbers of the enemy then disappearing into nothing. ''The name… is Kuiinshi.'' The man said as he continued to destroy the creatures.

The crystal containing Zelda disappears. ''Ganondorf...pitiful man... Without a strong, righteous mind,h e could not control the power of the gods...and…'' The castle begins to tremble violently. ''This tower will collapse soon! With his last breath, Ganondorf is trying to crush us in the ruins of the tower! We need to hurry and escape!''

''I got that covered…Just come close to me,'' Naruto said as the girls did so. ''Farore's Wind,'' Naruto said as he teleported the three of them out of there.

0

Outside the Castle

0

Ganondorf's army had been crushed by the combine might of the citizens of Hyrule. They had all gather outside of the castle waiting for the return of the three blondes who appeared outside the magical bridge as they exited Farore's Wind.

''Princess!''

''They saved the Princess!''

''Way to go!''

''Naruto!'' His girls yelled as they all surrounded him and hugged him…A rumble is heard.

''What is that sound?''

'You don't…shit I'll be right back.'' Naruto said as he went over to check the wreckage. A column of fire appeared separating Naruto from the others. Ganondorf emerges from the Rubble with the Triforce in his hand shining as he transforms into a large Animorphic pig.

''Naruto!'' They shouted.

''Shit!'' Naruto swore.

''Heads up…ever the hero aren't you Naruto.''

''Tatl''

''You didn't think we would let you fight alone did you?''

''Tael…let's kick some ass.'' He said drawing out the Biggoron sword and swung his blade down at Ganon only for the creature to swing it's huge blade severing the Biggoron blade in half.

''Aaw shi…''

0000000000

The next chapter will be the last of Ocarina of Time…then some filler at the end and the next will be Majora's Mask…also I will be


	14. Why Naruto Hates Time Travel

Heroes Across Time Abridged

0

I would like to get a shout out to Adamswestlapdog from Youtube. A lot of the material here is based off his abridged series, so credit goes where credit is due. But of course with a female link it couldn't be all that much.

0

Warning

0

This will be far more perverted and violent. Meaning random Lemons, some small, swearing and violence. No one under 18 should be reading this.

0

Naruto xHarem

0

Story Start

0

Ganondorf turned into the monstrous beast. With his two massive swords had broke the Biggoron sword and formed a massive ring of fire.

''Well this sucks,'' Naruto said as Lina took out the fairy bow.

''I got an idea, I'll blind him with Light Arrows and you smash his tail with the Megaton Hammer.''

Both of them dodged and rolled out of the way of a slash. ''Wait why his tail?''

''Well it's glowing like a damn rainbow so I assume it's a weak point.''

''Huh that's convienent,'' They ducked under another attack.

''Alright you bastard prepare to...'' The Megaton Hammer was knock out of his hand over the ring of fire.

''DAMNIT NARUTO WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU HOLD UP LIKE THAT AFTER WHAT HAPPENED TO THE MEGATON HAMMER!''

''Damnit Lina get off my back!'' Naruto cried out as he dashed and slide between Ganon's legs, taking out a kunai and jabbing it into the beast's tail who roared in pain.

The creature turned his attention to Naruto as it raised his foot and attempted to stomp on him. Doing a series of back flips Naruto drew Ganon's attention as Lina drew an arrow and focused her magic. After a few moments of concentration she let it loose as it hit Ganondorf in the face and blinding him.

After two hours of epic fighting that could not be described Ganon was finally hit by a ray of light.

They both looked up to see it was Zelda and that the ring of fire had dissipated.

''Quickly Lina use the Master Sword and finish that monster once and for all…I hold it as long as I can using my power.''

''Wait a minute...why the hell didn't you do that earlier?'' Naruto cried out as Zelda scowled.

''Well I kept on telling you I had an idea, but when do you ever listen when it's convienent.''

''I swear you two! Can we kill the king of evil now and worry about this later? I mean really!'' Lina snapped as the Master Sword began to glow

with the color of each of the crests given to her.

Lina then went about slashing at the creatures face and with one last thrust shoved the Master Core into the creature's brain. Ganon flailed about and fell to the ground.

'' Six Sages... Now!''

0

In the Chamber of the Sages

0

'' Ancient Creators of Hyrule! Now, open the sealed door and send the Evil Incarnation of Darkness into the void of the Evil Realm!'' The Sages become spheres of light and merge together, forming a portalthat consumes Ganondorf and drops him into an abyss.

0

Abyss

0'

' YOU... CURSE YOU...ZELDA! CURSE YOU...SAGES! CURSE YOU NARUTO!CURSE YOU...LINIKA!'' Someday... When this seal is broken... That is when I will exterminate your descendants! As long as the Triforce of Power is in my hand…''

0

Unknown Location

0

Naruto and Zelda stood side by side facing Lina who stood on the other side.

''Thank you, Lina ... Thanks to you, Ganondorf has been sealed inside the Evil Realm! Thus, peace will once again reign in this world...for a time.''

''All the tragedy that has befallen Hyrule was my doing... I was so young...I could not comprehend the consequences of trying to control the Sacred Realm. I dragged you into it, too.''

''We all make mistakes…Though we have to move forward.'' He said grasping her hand.

''I know…which is why now it is time for me to make up for my mistakes... You must lay the Master Sword to rest and close the Door of Time... However, by doing this, the road between times will be closed…''

''Wait a minute. How the hell does defeating Ganondorf in the future save the world when it's pretty much gone to hell?'' Everyone stared at Naruto. ''What!''

**''I hate to say it but Uzumaki is right. That doesn't make since. Neither does the whole master sword in stone and reverse time trick. That's just needlessly complicated.'' **Navi said voicing her own opinion.

''Well if we go back in time and not open the Sacred Realm then Ganondorf can't gain the Triforce of power therefore Hyrule will me saved,'' Zelda replied wisely.

''Uum ok...so in other words were responsible for all the shit that has happened in seven years. Couldn't we have not gone after the stones? I mean were heroes who well, broke it. Damn what is it called? Nice Job Breaking it Heroes. Yeah that's it...oh well screw it I might as well stay and try to score with, er I mean help rebuild this Hyrule.''

''Wait what...then what about the past?''

''Oh were sending you back Lina.''

''Wait what...why?'' She demanded as Zelda replied.

''Well you lost seven years of your life so it's only right if you got it back.''

''But I don't want to go back to being a teen. It sucked!''

''Well you're still 14 in mind so...it's just going to be wierd.''

''Well that didn't stop you from...hey what the hell!'' She cried out ineveloped by blue energy. ''Aah you bastard!'' Lina cried out as she threw the bag of holding at Naruto and missed. ''Damnit!"'

''Hey...I'll come find you!'' he said as he held up his hand against hers as Zelda continued playing the song of time.

''What if I don't want you too?'' She replied with a scowl and folded arms as she started to cry.

''Is that how you really feel?''

She sighed, ''No I don't you Ass-hat. Just don't take to log... Naruto I….'See you later.'' She mouthed to Naruto.

0

After wards

0

Peace and a new age of prosperity rained over Hyrule as the races came together to celebrate the new peace. The party was held at Lon Lon Ranch…The Kokiri could once again travel the world as the new forest guardian influence spread out and flourished. The reawakening of the temple and purging of the evil had gave and renewed great strength into everyone. Everyone in Hyrule was happy…everyone but one person.

''Do you think…I did the right thing?''

''I know you did…we'll see her again soon enough.''

0

A Month Later

0

The solidification of the treaties between the races as well as a whole new celebration spread all over. Word got out about one of the two heroes engagement to the Princess and it was the hottest topic.

0

Hyrule Castle

0

''How are you doing my Koishii?'' He asked the Princess as she walked into his room into her nightwear. Basically a pink flowing gown.

''I'm fine Koi…We still haven't found her yet?''

''I don't see…'' Sigh ''Nothing.''

''I'm sorry…I must have messed up and sent her someone else it's all my fault.''

''There's no reason for you to believe so…I been thinking…I want to go find her, so…''

''I'll wait a little longer.''

Din: ''I'm afraid it's not that simple.'' She spoke as her, Farore, and Nayru appeared out of a column of the light.

''Goddesses of Hyrule…it's been awhile.''

''My Goddesses…I uum it's an honor to meet you I um.''

''Calm down princess there's no reason to be flustered.'' Farore said with a grin.

''Maybe there is…from the look of things, looks like we were 'interrupting' something.'' Din teased.

''Yes! I mean no!'' She finally started to relax as Naruto started to massage her shoulders causing her to purr, then gasp, follow up with turning red.

''Ok, so before you guys cause the poor girl to die from embarrassment what is it that' so important that you three your selves had to show up.''

''Alternate reality.'' Nayru spoke the two words as Naruto winced.

''Fuck my life.'' _No no no no no No! I had enough of this damn confusing talk of alternate and beings and worlds from Kuiinshi I don't want to hear…''_

''That's where Lina is…''

''Wait, what?'' Both Naruto and Zelda echoed.

Farore: ''Two time lines were created due to an event in the past and with this latest one they have broken off even more. The only way to fix things is to destroy the mediator or conductor of this problem I should say and merge the time lines…..you have such lovely hair.'' She said looking and poking at Zelda's hair.

''This might cause some changes but all those who are strongly connected through Naruto will retain their memories and abilities. This merging of events and people will cause the current world of Hyrule to ascend into a future of anywhere from a decade to ten. Though by doing this you will all be reunited in the end. Some of the girls will have to take part to solidify certain events in the other time line making the merger easier.''

Din: ''Ok enough talk we delivered the message…Now that you know I suggest you get a move on.'' She said and just as they appeared the goddess were gone.

''Hey…you ok?''

''You mean if I'm ok by embarrassing my self in front of the creators of Hyrule then no.''

''Do you want a cookie?''

'' Do you want to get thrown in the Iron Maiden.''

'' No…no I don't…'' He said as he kissed her neck causing her to moan. ''Though I do know one thing and that's I'm not going to leave without saying good bye in my own special way.''

0

Lemon

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Naruto picked her up bridal style and carried her over to her bed. He laid her on the bed as he kissed her passionately. His fingers run through her hair as he ran his tongue over her lips as he pulled up and latched onto her neck. He could feel her arms wrap around his back as his lips travel around her neck leaving a small love bite every few seconds.

Zelda moaned as she felt Naruto's hands slid down her body massaging her body through her gown. Her breathing became quicker as she felt Naruto's trail down her body and slide up her gown pulling it up. She sat up and let him remove it from her revealing her pink under garments. She unclasped her bra and laid back down.

Naruto brought his hands to her breasts kneading them, brushing his thumbs against her soft flesh , massaging the breast tissue as he captured her lips with his on once again. He pulled off her panties and toss them aside as he brought his face to her crotch and began to finger causing the woman to arc her back and let out a scream of pleasure. He inserted a second finger and teasing her clit leaving her panting and consumed with lust. He pulled out his fingers and pulled out his harden member rubbing it against her lips. ''You ready Hime?''

''Yes…please.'' She pleaded in want as the feeling in her legs was driving her wild.

''This is going to hurt for a second so just squeeze my hand if you need to.'' He said

"Just _please_, be gentle," she begged.

Naruto smiled tenderly. He ran his hand over her thigh, up her stomach, and over her bare breast as if to reassure her. He picked up her hand and kissed it.

"Of course," he said softly.

Zelda glanced down at his member again, blushed, and looked away. "Really," she said with concern, "I've no idea how you're going to fit inside of me."

Naruto shook his head and breathed out amusedly. "It'll fit I assure you,'' He said as

he leaned into her and took her right breast into his mouth gently flicking his tongue over the nipple eliciting a moan. He continued this as he brought his other hand to her breasts inducing Ecstasy into her. Hopefully at this rate by the time he was done over loading her senses that the initial penetration wouldn't be painful for her.

His eyes then stared mischievously into hers as his hand wandered down between her thighs. He softly stroked the outside of her maidenhood and she threw back her head, shuddering.

Leaning down, he kissed her as he slipped his fingers back into her warm and wet slit.

He knew he found her spot when Zelda arch her back as her body jolt.

She gasped as she breath out causing her chest to rise then fall as Naruto pulled out his fingers. ''Looks like I have you exactly how I want you,'' He teased as he stroke her clit with his thumb causing her to pant and squirm. He kept this on for a minute until he decided he tortured her enough. When he was about to slip inside her she suddenly grabbed his manhood and stroked it up and down rapidly. She smirked at him as he had at her only moments before.

"See how you like it then!"

Naruto's eyes snapped shut as a deep and guttural groan erupted from his mouth. His animalistic side was awakening as he brought his hands to her thighs massaging them. The pleasure shot through Zelda causing her to slightly let loose of his member.

He then brought his hand to her opening and parted it using his one and middle finger.

''Aishiretu,'' Naruto said as he pushed forward slightly pushing the tip into her folds.

Zelda moaned in delight as she moved down slightly to give him better access.

Naruto thrusted in a couple of more inches until the tip met with her resistance. He kissed Zelda passionately and thrust forward causing her to scream against his lips then whimper from the pain. He used his hands to wipe the tears from her eyes as he slowly pulled out and thrust back in causing a moan to escape from her lips. They broke the kiss and looked into each other's eyes with love.

Naruto then placed kisses all along her jaw and neck line as he slowly sped up.

Zelda stroked the back of his neck as she wrapped her arms around his neck pulling him closer to her.

"Faster," she encouraged.

He looked into her eyes and picked up the pace not wanting to disappoint her. ''Damn Zel-chan…so wet and tight,'' He groaned as her walls squeezed around him.

''Oh Nayru! Naruto! F-Faster!'' Zelda screamed as her legs closed around his waist in a vice lock like grip.

Naruto kissed her deeply and then propped himself up with his hands. He gazed into her eyes and pumped into her furiously. When he felt her body shutter and tense he knew she was coming close.

She wrapped her arms about his shoulders and brought him into a searing caress. They moaned together as she contracted and released around him over and over again. Letting himself go, his member jerked slightly as he shot out his seed into her then collapsed on top of her.

Collapsing on top of her, he kissed her lightly. Zelda smiled softly at him and brushed his hair off his forehead before she kissed it.

"I love you so much," she whispered.

"And I love you," he told her as he took her hand and kissed her fingers.

0

Lemon End-An hour later.

0

''It's not funny you know.'' She pouted as Naruto carried her to one of the private royal was rooms.

''Sorry…didn't mean to take away your ability to walk for the rest of the night.''

''I feel so sore…''

''You'll be ok once you take a nice hot soak.'' He said as he suddenly sensed a presence. He spun and came face to face with. ''What the F-''


	15. Majora's Mask Abridged

Heroes Across Time Abridged

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Another Kyuubi16Parody.

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''Normal Speech''

_Inner Thoughts, Dialogue, or reading passages from books and scrolls_

(Quick Notes and Messages or Echoes.)

**(Dark over lapping echoes)**

**''Boss Summons, Demons, Dark beings speaking, Demonic/Angry characters Speaking as well as extremely Dark spells and Magic.''**

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Author's Note

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Rating R for strong language, sexual situations, drug references, and just plain ol' insanity.

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STORY START

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''Oh Kami my head, feels like I Kuiinshi hit me in the back of the head with a pipe. Where am I?'' The blond thought as he sat up. He didn't recognize the room at all despite how familiar it felt. A month had passe since he began his epic journey to track down Lina in this mysterious land which was Termina. So far he had beaten up some bandits and tracked through the forest. Thankfulluy enough he hadn't come across any of those damn temples.

He thought as he sat up.

''You shouldn't move or your reopen your injuries.'' Voiced a young red-haired woman entering the room.

''Malon?'' Naruto voiced in surprise. The woman was a carbon image of Malon down to her style of dress.

''Who?'' She asked confusion evident on her face.

''No nothing, never mind.'' _Idiot that's not Malon…Her scent is different. _He thought to himself. ''Besides I'm fine...I heal quickly so I'll...'' He clutched his ribs. His brain was still a little scattered so he had a tough time recalling how he injured himself.

''See , told you need rest.'' the woman said making a Malon-like gesture as she placed her hands on her hips.

''I guess you're right. I'm Naruto by the way. Do you mind telling me who you are and where I am?''

''Very well, my name is Cremia and this is Romani Ranch.''

''Romani ranch...'' he repeated the words softly. ''Thanks for helping me out. I owe you. If there is anything I can do for you let me know.''

''You continue to rest up and we'll worry about that later. I hope you're hungry, my sister should be putting the finishing touches on tonight's supper.''

Naruto nodded, not saying anything as his mind drifted to other things. Over the next few days he began to reflect on things. How the farm was so similar to Lon Lon Ranch and how quite and docile things were. Well maybe not so similar, Lon Lon didn't have a problem with bandits. But a few explosive tags to the face had fixed that problem. After a very warm and greatful 'thank you' from Cremia that went on til the sun rose Naruto once more was on his way.

As he continued his journey Naruto found himself hanging out with a Zora band for a few weeks. After Naruto finished performing the Uzumaki special on the sexy female lead he remebered he had a plot to continue and once more went searching for his missing companion.

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Journal Entry

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_Several more weeks have passed and I haven't found her. I've been searching the ocean when I came Aveli who is always trying to 'steal away with me' in a matter of speaking. Once I returned to land I took residence in the Stock Pot inn in Clock Town where I met Anju whose family rented out their rooms and that they used to be a cafeteria. I been spending my days here waiting deciding that she would eventually have to show up so I spent my time here with Anju. I remember her in Oot…Damnit , now Kuiinshi has me doing it too. In Hyrule I remember her having a half a dozen Cuccuko and raising them. Apparently they got lost or something. Sometimes I wonder if I can consider myself sane after all the crazy shit that's happened._

''Oh sir I'm so terribly sorry,'' Naruto heard from the other side of the inn followed with a shout. It was customary to say the least sense that was one of Anju's habits along with leaving things to the last minute which Naruto contributed to her bad memory. Naruto sat down the book and walked to the front ending any following confrontation that would have happened. A few months ago some unruly customer criticize Anju to the point where she got upset and the man was damn near beaten to death by Naruto, though no one know why he got off with a warning(Genjutsu maybe?). Ever since then the two gotten close and Naruto have been helping her cook.

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Some time later

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''I'm going into town be right back,'' He told her as he went for a walk around the town. For the past few years he had been going between the ranch and inn and grown accustom to relaxing. The carnival was still going on so Anju was determined to keep the inn open to house travelers despite her mother's protest. On three days time during the carnival supposedly the moon was suppose to fall on the town. It had yet to happen but in a world where magic and demons exist you would be weary of rumors. ''Hey there Anju come to see how things are going?''

''Yes…it's such a nice and sunny day,''

''Miss Anju!'' They heard a voice yelled. The two turned around to see who was calling her and if it was as if time stopped. Blue eyes met Blue.

''N-Naruto…''

''Lina…'' the blond voiced in disbelief as he found himself unable to act because of the sudden shock.

''Hey Naruto, isn't it great! You finally found your companion!''

''Yeah! Hey! Where the hell have you been?'' the blond demanded with a playful smile. The next thing he knew he was tackled to the ground as said girl began strangling him. In other words it was Tuesday.

Naruto was fidgeting at his neck brace as his fellow blonde began telling him everything from the Majora's mask, too the moon following, to becoming human again and everything.

''Damnit Lina! Why must you break everything! First the incident in Hyrule and now this! You're bad luck you know that!''

''Oh kiss my ass Naruto! You're just as responsible! Besides the little bastard was possesed before I met him so don't put it on me.''

''Well look at this. you and me together again on another world wind adventure. Just like old times!''

''But...but that's not fair! You're an adult and I'm a chibi again! This is nothing like old times!'' she exclaimed then pouted.

''Yeah...the Moral Guardians would object to any happy fun time in this situation.''

''Wait...what?''

''Hey so where's Tael at? I have a score to settle with that little bastard!''

''He's with Skull Kid keeping an eye on him.''

''Tael...you sent Tael to keep an eye on someone? Tael? To do something important? Were you drunk at the time?''

''Well it's not like I sent him. He just...you know what...shut up!''

''How are we supposed to save the world in three days? Hell it took us over seven years the last time. One adventure makes us pros it does not. Well I am...you technically haven't grown since then.''

''I swear to the Goddesses if you start those damn short jokes again I'm going to cut you.''

''Yeah, yeah, now let's begin this epic journey where I shall undoubtly be laid multiple times.'' Naruto declared as he ran out of the hotel.

''Tatl...please remind me again why I put up with him?''

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Time Skip-to a Swamp

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''Those damn natives didn't have to chase us off,'' Naruto declared in annoyance as he took another bite out of his monkey on a stick.

''Well you know...maybe it has something to do with saying 'I'll do her!' when they asked us to rescue her princess wasn't the smartest idea.''

''Don't blame me...blame my imagination!'' he said as he began fantasizing once more what the Deku princess must looked like.

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See Link Below

(Http:/browse(dot)deviantart(dot)/?qh=§ion;=&q=deku#/d2mfsuc)

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''Are you sure this will work?'' Lina asked him pulling out the Deku Mask as they arrived to the Temple Entrance.

''Im telling you I sent my Kagebunshin ahead and we'll definitely need that mask's ability to get through,'' Naruto explained as he began to search his person. ''Damnit! I think I misplaced my Chuck Norris Mask.''

''I shutter in sympathy for people's insanity due to the fact you may in fact have numerous children running around one day and how they might inherit your need to drive people crazy.''

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Locaton Dinolfos Room

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Lina made quick work of the Dinolfols with the Kokiri sword.''You ever wander why chest mysteriously appear when you kill an enemy?''

''No not really I just accept that's how things are…'' He said opening the chest. ''A bow and arrow…we can use this to shoot any golden eye switches since obviously there will be some…there always are.''

''You know switching between forms is a pain in the ass.''

''Yes for you it is but I'm so awesome I defy the rules of logic.''

And at that Moment Lina's sword met Naruto's spleen.

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Some Time later

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''I…Hate…Skulltulas,'' Lina muttered darkly still feeling soar from being knocked out of the air by one.

''Hey I know….Well even though there's probably no one cursed it's still fun to kill them right?'' He asked healing her.

''Is that chanting?''

''Oh hell…it's a sacrifice.''

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Boss Fight

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And sure enough sacrifices were performed the appease the deity Woodfall Odolwa. Naruto tossed the monkeys the jar containing the princess essence as he and Lina fought the deity. _''I don't have a blade so I'll distract him.''_ Naruto mouthed to Lina then proceeded to leap into the air and attempt to kick the creature only for him to be block by his sword. His shinsei clone took off the mask and formed a Rasenshuriken connected it to the blade with a enough force causing a crack in it. The real Naruto dropped back and shot a ball of fire at it fully breaking the blade. ''Now Lina!'' He shouted as she leaped up. ''Kaiten Giri(Sword Attack)'' She shouted slashing at the creature's chest. She dropped back as it let out a howl of pain and summoned several creatures mainly scarabs. Naruto created Kagebunshin to deal with them. Then pulls out the Hero's Bow and shot Odolwa between the eyes stunning him allowing Lina to get off several sword strikes killing it.

''What's this?'' He heard her mumble and pick up something.

''Is that?''

''Yes…It's a mask.'' She told him showing the mask. When they left the temple a giant was released from the mask.

''Call'' Tatl stated' 'That's what he said,'' Answering the question that was obviously about to be asked.

''That temple…was hard…Not as hard as the Water Temple but still…I have a feeling things just got tough,'' Naruto commented his eyes heavy. ''We got one day left and it's not enough time…Let's find what we can with the waters purified then head back in time.''

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Clock Town- 71 Hours 44 minutes

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''Well that last day which we will never mention to anyone to avoid being arrested and charge with 20 different crimes didn't help a damn thing. ''Anyway you get to meet Anju again. How fun...'' Naruto said as Lina tasting some of Anju's soup.

''It tastes…kind of salty,'' She commented pushing it away.

''She's trying you know….I've been teaching her and she's made a lot of progress. So it's safe to say we have to manipulate time in the past but now only to an extent of three days and no one remembers afterwards.''

''Well it's better this way right, I mean I wouldn't want to put people through the anguish our last adventure brought.''

''I know…I'm going to go see that HMSG to see if he knows the location of the Zora mask.''

''Well I'll be outside practicing my new super Kaiten Giri.''

'' It needs a better name!''

''Oh go #$! yourself.''

Naruto entered the tower, glancing at the 'Mask of Scents' and chuckled. If he was a normal human these masks would be of great interest to him but he wasn't normal. He figured there might have been a secret chamber and low and behold their was. Shooting crystal switches and going through stair ways was what was necessary for this treasure. ''Hey Happy Mask Guy I got a question for you.''

''Oh a customer eh! Well what can I do for you?''

''I need to know if there has been any rumors of a Zora mask that can turn their wearer into a Zora.'' _Maybe with some help the same can be true in reverse. _

''Interestingly enough I found that mask yea…''

''500 rupees,'' Naruto said pulling out a bag of rupees. ''I really need that mask.''

''Sold!''

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Snowhead, First Visit

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''These teleportation powers we picked up sure has came in handy,'' Lina commented as they arrived at Snowhead.

''I wander why your health deteriorates when you use this mask?'' He asked as Lina put on the Blast Mask. ''Infinite bombs are the business, but dying while using them is not the business.'

Suddenly jumping ice spiders descended towards.''

''' Tektites head just basic sword attacks will do.'' Tatl told them.

''Well like always I'll take care of the Mooks and Lina...you can blow some shit up.''

''Yay! I like burning things!'' she said materalzing some bombs.

''_And she says I have problems!''_

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Snowhead - Mountain Village

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The duo headed towards the exit to the Mountain Pass until they reached a wooden bridge, half buried in snow. They moved forward then right of an Owl looking statue and moved along the frozen lake seeing a sign that said "Goron Village ahead," So they entered the pass.

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Snowhead - Mountain Lake Run

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They ran forward to reach a wooden bridge extended over the dried up lakebed, and ran along the bridge to the first of three small islands. They then stepped on an island for a White Wolfos to appear but only for it to be kicked off the mountain by Naruto. They continued on to the islands until they reached Goron Village. Once further in they see Gebora so Naruto casted an invisibility jutsu and continued on in but not before silently stealing some feathers.

''Hey wh…''

''Lens of Truth…'' Naruto commented pulling out the artifact. ''I never said ''all'' the items were stolen now did I?''

''But...but that doesn't make any damn sense! I thought I had the items? Damnit Naruto did you rob me and replace the items with copies again!''

''Of course not...why would I... Holy crap…'' He said as a spirit materalized. It was the ghost of Darmani who was the Hero of the Gorons in his time. They followed him to his grave and used the Song of Healing so his spirit can pass on and the result was that they got a mask. '''A nice hot spring…Think we should fill our bottles with the water?''

''I say it be a good thing if we do. You never know when we might need it…though it did take seven years for the blue fire I got to be put to good use.'' He said as they returned to the city and purchased equipment they couldn't get.

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A day later

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''Man gathering all these masks is becoming time consuming, not to mention consoling the dead ones' family and friends is just so disheartening,'' Naruto said as he added the Don Gero Mask to his collection. ''Good idea on the water,'' He complimented Lina.

''Thanks'' She said as she practiced the Goron's Lullaby. ''Something about these songs are so peaceful and calming.''

''I know…I like to sing and write music because of that…well here we go you ready?'' He asked as Naruto saw the shadow of the creature terrorizing the Goron's.

''Always,'' She said donning the Goron Mask. '''I'm still pissed on how hard that temple was so I got plenty of anger to work out.''

''Yeah, though it was the fact there was Lava in a snow temple that confuses the hell out of me…Though who would have figured we would find elemental arrows…I'll stun it with them and you bash it's brains out.'' He said as the creature finally revealed itself. Between the power of Lina's strength and Naruto's aim and magical prowess the creature was weakened to the point where the two of them used their combined strength to knock it over the cliff killing it. Shortly after Naruto retrieved the mask it left behind. ''It seems to be four seals or something if I'm remembering the legend right. ''Were halfway done then.''

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25 Hours- Great Bay

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''Wow this is amazing I never seen an ocean the ocean before,'' Lina exclaimed.

''Like a kid in a candy shop.'' He said rubbing her hair teasingly.

''Stop that…''

''Alright alright sorry…Though we can put these Gilded swords to the test…those damn Razor swords kept on braking though and the last thing we need is weapons like those in a boss fight…unless we happen to get a mask before each fight which I doubt it…''

''Ok what's wrong?'' She asked him hearing the neutral tone in his voice.

''You see theres this Gerudo…''

''I heard enough…she's trying to steal you away to sate her desires right?'' She dead panned.

''Well…when you joke, ask, and pray for something enough it eventually happens you know,'' He said shrugging his shoulders. ''Maybe we won't run into her if were lucky though she does have a nice ass.''

''Eyes on the prize pervert let's keep moving.''

0

Two Player Punches and a midget toss later

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''I'm sorry Mikau I should have been there.'' Naruto said looking at their newly acquired Zora masked of his shortly departed friend.

''Naruto…will get the egg back and will help Lulu get her voice back as well,'' She comforted him.

''Arigatou…''

0

Three epic battles and a confrontation later.

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''Navel...you...you were the one. I can't believe you!'' the blond grounded out in restrained anger. When he and lina infiltrated the pirate ship the last person he expected to have killed one of his friends was another ally.

''Naruto I…''

''I don't want to here it Naveli…'' He said coldly as he sealed the egg. ''One of my friends is dead because of your crew…the one's you sent to steal the egg from someone precious to me…Regardless of how it came to be...I can't be around you from the time being. '' He told her as he walked towards Lina leaving the Gerudo woman in despair at the fact that the man she sought hated her.

''Naruto…'' Lina started to say but he kept walking past her. ''I can sense it…the Giant in the water.'' He said as the Sea Turtle arisen from the ocean.

''The power of this egg has strange powers…we need to hurry up we only have 40 hours left.'' He said boarding the Sea Turtle.

The two dived into the water to face the fish cyborg. Using the power granting through the Zora's mask the two were able to channel electricity through it and pierced the creatures skull.

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Some time later-38 hours

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''You guys are becoming effective in defeating these spirits,'' Tatl told to Lina who sat by and watch the reunion between Lulu and Naruto. ''At least Naruto's not sulking anymore. I hate angst. There's too much angst in animated media, especially characters in DCAU that are defined by it. Hey they look happy.''

''I know…they seem so happy,'' She sighed. ''This is bullshit. ''

''It's because you haven't gotten laid in months isn't it?''

''Which is complete and utter bullshit you know. At this point I'm considering tying him up and having my way with him.''

''Lina! You're joking right?''

The Herione of time sighed, ''You're right Tatl. I mean where would I find rope strong enough to bind Naruto?''

''The fate in the world is in the hands of a perverted pyromaniac that likes to stab things and a perverted idiot who might not be completely sane. We're boned!''

''Hey! To be fair we saved the world once already!''

''Which doesn't make sense! How does defeating Ganondorf in the future save the world?''

''You know...that sounds familiar. I feel as if I have forgotten something. Oh well it's probably not important.''

''Now on to see the Great Fairy! '' Naruto cried out holding up a new never before seen Kokiri mask.

''That's it! When this journey is over I'm getting myself reassigned! No amount of doom the world that befalls the world is worth the insanity you two draw in.''

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7 Hours

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_This was one hell of a journey and once again we come to a close. We collected items that once aided us such as the ice & fire arrow, hookshot and even the lens of truth. We learned new songs such as Healing and Awakening while learning old ones such as storms. New weapons such as the Gilded sword graze our arms while we found items such as the Mirror shield. All and all the journey allowed us to get our hands on several items including several peculiar masks._

_I had thought the giants have forsaken us when the moon nearly crushed the town. I was surprised that they brought the people we've met on the journey to this location…Lulu and the Indigos…Cremia and Romania…Anju…Even Aveli, seeing them all again renewed my hope and strength and sure enough the giants appeared to stop the moon. When Skullkid told us what happened the mask soon separated it self from in and the final battle would begin._

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The Final Battle

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''As far as the eyes can see a plain,'' Naruto said. He looked over at his companion who was in the form of an Ogre Deity, a Kami. ''That blasted mask is insane and we have no choice, I hope your ready. The moon…the spiritual plane of Majora…All the things he's done it's nothing more then a fucking game to him.'' He said angrily as Majora arrived. Due to height from the new mask Lina was able to mercilessly strike down Majora with her sword onto the mask until it sprouted arms and legs. Using his claws and fangs Naruto was easily able to disable the limbs slowing it down enough for Lina to continue her attack until he transformed into his final form. (Seriously this boss was lame (Even in the Game) so yeah sorry.) In the matter of minutes the creature known as Majora was defeated and his masked destroyed.

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After the battle

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''You know what. I quit! No more epic journeys! I'm still pissed off because of those last two temples!'' Naruto declared as he Lina traveled down an unnamed Meadow.

''Well at least Hyrule and Termina are both safe. Anyway, so what do we do now?''

''Who knows...all I know is that I'm done. All we have to do is wait for the Goddesses to merge the realities and everything will be how it's supposed to be. Peacefully and no problems at...''

(Join Naruto and Lina along with Link as they fight against the Twilight King and save Hyrule that has once again apparently fallen into danger several centuries from now in the Twilight Princess story Arc coming out in Four Weeks!''

''WHAT!'' Naruto cried out. ''SON OF A BITCH!''

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Chapter End

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Aah yes...I have abridged an abridged. Man...I can not believe how much of a better writer I am now then I was then. I realized that I can not read Heroes Across Time without cringing which is why I'm rewriting it. Though I might just post new chapters at the end or something in the old version. I haven't decided. Anyway a lot of people have clammored and asked for Lina to be in the Twilight Princess story arc, so she will for the abridged version.


	16. The Start of new Insanity!

Heroes Across Time Abridged

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Another Kyuubi16Parody.

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''Normal Speech''

_Inner Thoughts, Dialogue, or reading passages from books and scrolls_

(Quick Notes and Messages or Echoes.)

**(Dark over lapping echoes)**

**''Boss Summons, Demons, Dark beings speaking, Demonic/Angry characters Speaking as well as extremely Dark spells and Magic.''**

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Author's Note

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Rating R for strong language, sexual situations, drug references, and just plain ol' insanity.

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STORY START

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In the realm of Twilight there was three kingdoms. The one most prominent ruled over the world and was lead by the Twili Princess Midna.

Beautiful with long flaming orange hair, pale blue skin, D-cupped breasts, and orange eyes. Wearing a black blouse slightly open so her breasts were showing slightly, a black skirt that showed off her legs, and a black hat.

That was the description of the Twilight Princess. She leaned over the balcony as she gazed out of the expanse of her land. The serene landscape eased her wandering. She was still un at ease due to the this year's early event. How Zant made proclamations of her undoing during her coronation. The Twili like the Hylians, Gorons, Zoras, and other races of Hyrule once resided in Hyrule. Though the ancestors of the Twili were banished after one of the two Hell goddesses son…Majora…if she was right was his name tried to lead an army and overtake the world. The Twilight realm was supposed to be a world of torture to punish those of Twili descendant but the people had learned to adapt.

She dismissed the thoughts as she thought about what she knew of Zant. He was neither powerful or cunning or even all that brave. Her thoughts were interrupted as a noise echoed throughout her ears as she finally realized what it was.

Footsteps.

She turned around and froze in shock. Zant was standing there behind her, it was nearly impossible to mistake his form even with the strange mask he was wearing. She was able to barely pear behind him to see one of the guards unconscious.

'**'Well Princess,'' **Zant hissed through his mask. "**Your reign as Twilight Princess ends now…I Zant will be taking my rightful place as king. With the power of a god no one will oppose me.''**

''You're a fool Zant! I don't know what your talking about but I won't stand by and let you ruin this land.''

**''What makes you think you have a choice? You are nothing compared to me now.''**

''Well she about that,'' Midna said as she conjured a sphere of black energy with a quick chant and launched it at Zant. It impacted and did nothing. ''W-What!'' She and stepped back unconsciously. She could sense the vast amount of Magic coming from Zant…It was foul…evil.

She automatically raised her hand by instinct as she staggered back but Zant continued to advance raising his arm in front of him giving a careless flick blasting midna back with a powerful energy.

She landed hard on the balcony floor, letting escape a high-pitched grunt as she hit the ground. She pushed myself to her hands and knees and she saw her hands. Her eyes widened in horror and she raised my hands and stared at them.

Zant, somewhere above, laughed cruelly. "**As I said you are nothing now! Your not even worth me killing…I think tossing you into the world of Light to leave you to the mercy of the light dwellers is a more befitting punishment for the one who dared got in way as ruler!''**

Midna could only remain sitting on her knees in shock, numb with shock.

0

Hyrule- Sometime Later

0

''You know we should have these diplomatic meetings more often,'' Naruto commented as he finished dressing.

''I would enjoy that but I don't think Rutela would be happy if I kept her husband away so often.'' Zelda commented fixing his shirt.

''She wouldn't mind, at least I don't think. I gave her quite the goodbye before I came here

''I swear is that all you do or think about?''

''Yep, Fighting , Fucking, and Feeding myself is what I'm good at.''

''Oh Goddesses,'' Zelda groaned shaking her head. ''What am I ever going to do with you?''

''First you tie me up and get a saddle,'' He was interrupted.

''Not literally,'' she snapped.

0

Some time later

0

''You know you could have at least told us where you were heading?'' Tatl scolded the Kitsune. He had managed to sneak away from his fairy guides.

''Oh come on give me a break Tatl I was having diplomatic relat-talks with Zelda and…''

''By talk do you mean bow-chicka-wow-wow,'' Tael suggested and was then whapped by his sister. ''Ow..sis!''

''Quiet you…I swear I'm surrounded by perverts.''

''Oh come on give me a break of course I came to see how Linika is doing too? Where is she by the way?''

''She's seeing her psychiatrist. You dressing up as a Redead and scaring her three months ago was the straw that broke the camele's back.''

''Oh for heaven's sake! It wasn't that bad!''

''She set fire to the hut and cackled madly into the night. What the hell would you define as bad if not that?''

''You know what...forget all of you guys. Anyway I wanna go visit my great, great, great grandson. I heard he was getting married,'' Naruto sniffled. ''That's my boy. Making the family proud. I remember that conversation we had all those weeks ago.''

0

Flashback

0

'' Tell me...Do you ever feel a strange sadness as dusk falls?'' Fado asked as Link replied.

''Depends on what you mean,'' Link answered.

'' They say it's the only time when our world intersects with theirs...The only time we can feel the lingering regrets of spirits who have left our world. That is why loneliness always pervades the hour of twilight... But enough talk of sadness...I have a favor to ask of you, Link. I was supposed to deliver something to the royal family of Hyrule the day after tomorrow…''

''I thought….''

'' Yes, it was a task set to me by the mayor, but...would you go in my stead?''

''Sure why not,'' He said shrugging.

'' In the kingdom of Hyrule there is a great castle, and around it is Castle Town, a community far bigger than our little village. ...And far bigger than Hyrule is the rest of the world the gods created. It is getting late... We should head back to the village. I will talk to the mayor about this matter.''

0

Flash back End

0

''Wait...how the hell did you have a flashback to an event that you weren't part of?'' Tatl asked as Naruto paused and scratched his goatee.

''Hhm...you're right. Perhaps I have been drinking too much Loquoa as of late.''

''Hey nevermind that! Let's go do something stupid!'' Tael suggested as Naruto readily agreed.

''That's it! After whatever insanity that hits us next is over with I'm going to do what Navi did and get the hell out of here.''

0

Ordon Province

0

''Damnit a tunnel…one of my worst enemies,'' Link grumbled emerging into a small pond seeing Epona and Illa.

''Oh, hi, Link, I washed Epona for you!''

''Thanks Iila but that wasn't necessary.''

''Not necessary! Epona is a girl too, so you have to treat her nice like one! Oh, but listen, Link... Could you do something for me?''

_Crap,_''Sure what is it Iila?''

'' Can you use a piece of grass to play that song for me? You know, the one that Epona likes? I tried to play it for Epona, but I just can't seem to play it the way you can, Link.''

''Sure''

Plays Epona's Song.

Epons runs towards him.

'' It's such a nice melody...Epona looks happy. Well, she's all prettied up now, so I suppose you can ride her back. But don't you make her do too much, OK?

''Ok….I got to go see you later,'' He said kissing her cheek and riding off into town.(Yes this is a LinkxIila pairing story)

O

Ordon

_0_

_'_'Ah, if it isn't young Link. Are you going to close down the ranch for the day? I just closed the shop, myself.''

''That I am Sera.''

'' I'm sure you know all about the mischievous monkeys that've been coming into the village lately... Those things worry me a bit. I'd better lock up tight here... I couldn't stand to have any more goods stolen... Can't trust that good-for-nothing husband to do anything right…'' ''C'mon, Dad! You can't catch a silly little monkey?'' The girl known as Beth asked the man known as Hanch.

''Uhh... Well... No. No, I can't.'''' Oh... Listen to us babble on. I didn't mean to keep right, off to work with you.'' Sera said.'' Why don't you stop by and do a little shopping some other time?''

''Well... Have a good time at work, Link!'' Beth told him.

''...And be careful out there!'' Hanch warned.

0

On the way to the Ranch

0

On the way there Link runs into Colin one of the village's kid who befriended Ralis, Naruto's son on one of his visits.

''Oh... Hi, Link. I'm making you a fishing rod, y'know! All I have left to do is paint it, so get ready for fishing! I just need to finish painting it today... Then I need my dad to look it over... My dad, he always has to stick his nose in everything, y'know…''

''Well uum thanks and you do that,'' Link said continuing to the Ranch.

0

Path to Ranch

0

''Ah, great timing, Link! There was something I had forgotten to tell son Colin is making a fishing rod so the two of you can play should finish it today, so you come get it at the house , it is Colin's first fishing rod, so it may not be the best one out there...but you will be kind and use it anyway, right? See you tomorrow!'' Rusl said as he left and this Uli appeared.

'' Good evening, Link. This is a lovely sunset, is it not?''

''Indeed.'

'' It is kind of you to spend time with my husband, you know... It gives me time for myself! Oh, do you have to go put the livestock to bed now?''

''Yeah I do''

''Well, you should go to the ranch before the sun goes down. '' She said as sure enough Mayor Bo showed up.

''Oh. Link. Looks like you're goin' to help Fado. Good job. He headed up to the ranch ahead of you. You go finish up your chores before the sun goes down. Go on. Get up to the ranch and help out.''

O

Ranch

0

''Sorry to get you over here in such a hurry, Link! These guys have been awful skittish lately. They won't listen to a word I say. Sorry to ask, bud, but how's about you an' Epona herd 'em into the barn real quick? We ain't got much time, so you think you can do it for me?''

''Sure.'

'' Much obliged there, bud! OK, then, go on an' herd all these little scamps into the barn for me! Dang, if it ain't a good thing y'all came! OK, then! Herd them goats into the barn with Epona!(Link herds the confluence of goats into the barn)Link, Epona... Much obliged to both of y'all! I can cover everythin' tomorrow without havin' to trouble you, so just sit back an' relax, bud. Oh... But, uh, how 'bout today? Wanna practice with fences? Just wait a spell, bud. I'll get them fences set up.

0

An Hour Later

0

Hoo, sorry that took so long! OK, then! Y'all ride all you want!Y'all get tired of ridin', just jump the gate an' head back into the village, OK, bud?

0

Next Day Hyrule Castle

0

Naruto jumped up from the guest bed startled by his vision ''TATL! TAEL!'' He shouted to the fairies that arrived shortly.

''Dude what's up?''

''Something wrong?''

''I had a vision….I want you guys to go to Rutela and tell her to send Ralis and several guards to the castle and also tell her to go to Kakariko village with the 'items' I told her about and make haste.''

''Right.'

''Were on it'' The two fairies said as they took off.

''Damn…it felt so real, that darkness was suffocating and if I'm right Hyrule is in danger. I got to warn Zelda.

000

Chapter End

000

At long last! Twilight Princess Abridged!


	17. Twilight Madness

HAT Abridged 17

0

Another Kyuubi16Parody.

0

''Normal Speech''

_Inner Thoughts, Dialogue, or reading passages from books and scrolls_

(Quick Notes and Messages or Echoes.)

**(Dark over lapping echoes)**

**''Boss Summons, Demons, Dark beings speaking, Demonic/Angry characters Speaking as well as extremely Dark spells and Magic.''**

00000

Author's Note

0

Rating R for strong language, sexual situations, drug references, and just plain ol' insanity.

00000

STORY START

0000000000000000

The Imp Midna limped in pain as she staggered away from her palace. Her kingdom was in the hands of a madman like Zant. She fell to her hands and knees.

'_What am I suppose to do now? I can't enter the world of Twilight I'll be nothing more then just a shadow. '_

Anger and hatred for Zant filled the Twili as a suddenly an tingling sensation filled her body. Something ripped from her body which caused her to scream. She looked up with one clutched eye to see what it was. A mask…a fused Shadow which was one of the powers of her ancestors. One of the pieces had been passed down the royal family for centuries.

'_That's it…if I gather the fused shadows then I can blow Zant's pompous ass to hell! Ungrateful bastard! Should have never gave him his own seat on the short bus…''_

The remaining fused shadows were still in the world of Twilight. Stranded in that world when the Twili were purged into this realm.

0

Ordon

0

"Hey, wake up, Link! It's morning already!"

Link peered out of the window hearing the voice. It was Talo, along with his little brother Malo, and Beth. They were the village children along with Colin(who was secretly the love of Naruto and Uli). Talo and Malo were Jaggle and Pergie's sons. Talo was the oldest, and very mischievous, obnoxious, and loved having fun. Malo was the youngest, having the appearance of a baby. Despite that, he spoke very sternly like an adult.

Beth, as mentioned before was Hanch and Sera's daughter. She was around Talo and Colin's age, and thought of the other children as "babies".

He was the constant source of the children's amusement other then Colin who they often teased for being shy. Every morning they would come to his house waking him up to play with them. He could have said no but he was too much of a kind hearted person unlike Naruto. ''Be right there,'' He answered.

0

Else where

0

Midna found that with the fused magic she had new powers. She could float and warp, not to mention lift Objects with her hair shaped out of a hand. Not to mention moving through objects like a phantom and this was just one mask. This was excellent Mindfuckery potential in itself. After screwing with a few people, which incidentally led to suicide and insanity Midna remembered that she was going to seek vengeance on Zant for eating the last Twinkie! Oh and taking over her Kingdom and transforming her into an Imp.

The place was gorgeous in her opinion due to it being covered in Twilight. Seeing this she figured Zant already took over and was looking for the Princess. She saw a tower and made her way to it.

"Hello, Princess," Midna said, grinning at her.

"Who-who are you?" Asked Zelda.

"I'm Midna. I'm from Twilight, just like Zant, the bastard who did this to your world. Long story short we both see him as an enemy…What is your name, anyhow?"

"I am Princess Zelda," she replied slowly, wondering what the hell was wrong with the very random creature before her.

"So, how is it that he was able to defeat your armies?"

Zelda did not reply for a moment. "He attacked the palace with strange creatures. One of my guards is very important to me…his name is Naruto…I'm not sure how, but it must have been the effect of the Twilight hampering his abilities. _Or all the damn beer he was drinking last night during his midnight ramen run_,'' she grumbled. ''Anyway, Zant told me he would surrender or he would kill him then turn his site to my people… I surrendered."

_That bastard. _Meant thought as her heart twinged. _He's using my people to take over the world of Light. And he didn't even think to ask if I wanted to help?. That's it! He has to die!_

''Princess what if I told you about I'm on the search for the person who can save the world this world of yours?''

Zelda was quite for a few seconds. ''You mean Naruto right?'' She asked as Midna reeled back slightly.

''Wait…your talking about the guy you said was captured…what can he do?'' Midna asked as Zelda sighed and looked out of the window.

''This isn't my first time as the Queen of Hyrule…in my hand lays the Triforce of Wisdom…to keep this story short I was born in the past as the Princess with my parents ruling over Hyrule. I had visions of a madmen brining ruin to the world. Naruto was one of two people that defeated the six temple guardians, freed the sages, and defeat the man who held the Triforce of Power,'' Zelda started as she explained exactly what Naruto was capable of.

The tale seemed to entrance Midna as the part about him able to transform into a Golden Kitsune caught her attention. He fit the description of the Twili legend of a Devine Beast that would save their world if it ever fell into ruin.

''Where can I find this…Naruto?'' Midna asked curiously. _Maybe he's good looking. I always wanted an exotic boytoy, but mother was convince I wouldn't be able to take care of one. It's not my fault my last five pets died from heart attacks._

''He should be in the dungeons below deep within the castle…I'm not sure if he has escaped or not…he's tall…a little below six feet with Golden bright Blonde hair. He also has serene and calming cerulean blue eyes that…''

''Whoa settle down…so he's that short of 'special friend,'' Midna said as Zelda blushed.

''Well I…I'm only human,'' The Princess mumbled in embarrassment.

''Ok so I'll get this Naruto guy and we'll be off to kick Zant's ass so you can rule back over your kingdom again and I can go back to having mine. I'll be damned if I'm denied Cheesecake Friday!''

"Very well, Midna. I wish you well and good lick on your journey.''

0

Dungeon Below-Some Time Later

0

Naruto groaned as he held his paw over his head. Those damn creatures blind sighted him and took over the castle. Zelda? Was she safe? What about Rutela? Ralis? A million questions literally flew through his head as he tried to pull at the shackles? Wait shackles? He looked and see that his ankles were chained. ''Today is not my day,'' He asked seeing a figure on the other side of the wall. ''A wolf? Damn, there's only a few people who could have survived the Twilight with an animal form…Link wake up I know that's you, even the scent is the same regardless it being more bestial.'' He then inhaled a breath of air and blasted the wolf awake. ''Good your awake,'' He said gazing the reaction, which seemed to be a dead panned expression. ''Don't give me that look I did what was…''sniff sniff ''ok someone is close by…ok before were probably eaten want to explain how you got here?''

A few minutes later

''So some fat monster by King Bulbin is responsible…Now my advice is…''

''I found you!''

''The hell,'' Naruto commented as an Imp with an unusual crown appeared. ''Who the hell are you?'' He asked but didn't get an answer. ''Answer me!'' He barked out still irritating about early.

'' Oooh! Aren't you scary! Eeh hee! Are you sure you want to be doing that? Snarling and glaring at me? ''

''Yes,'' He answered smartly.

'' Well, that's too bad...I was planning on helping you...if you were nice.''

'_Naruto just be nice so we can get out of here.' _

''Screw that,'' He replied reading Link's thoughts.

'_Aren't you worried about your family?''_

''Low blow Link…Low blow.'' Sigh ''Excuse me um whoever you are could you please help us I'll be grateful,'' He said as his eye twitched while he did so.

'' Eeh hee! That's much better! You humans are obedient to a fault, aren't you?''

''I…''

'' Oops! But you AREN'T a human anymore, are you? You're a beast! Eeh hee!'' Jumps out of the way as Naruto lunges at her.

''There, there. You be a good boy and calm down. No need to bite!''

''How the hell…''

''You look kind of surprised! Eeh hee hee! So! I bet you're wondering, where exactly are we? Well, I'll make you a deal. If you can get over here, maybe I'll tell you! Eeh hee!''

Naruto sunk his teeth into the restraints tearing them off. He did the same with Links and then body slammed the door…bad idea.

''Oow...''

''Come on! What's the matter with you? Get over here, now!'' Midna ordered.

''Damnit! I got this Imp,'' He yelled from the floor.

'' If you can't force your way out, why don't you see if there's some kind of hole you can squeeze through? I mean, places like this are always full of holes, right?''

'_She does have a point?'_

''_Screw her point, how do we know it's a her?''_

''_Well for one there's no visible slung, thank god and she sounds like a woman.''_

''_Can't argue with that logic.'' _

He said traveling through the tunnel. ''Now Oomph,'' He said as the Imp sat on his back. ''Uum can I help you?'' He asked her.

''Yeah…Listen, I like you, so I think I'll get you out of in exchange for my help, you have to do EXACTLY as I say!''

''What! You mean become your bitch? No way screw that.''

''It's either stay here and become someone else's bitch.'' She pointed out with a toothy grin.

'_Oh the hell with that…Naruto were going.'_

''Oh like that scares me…It'll probably happen to Link but not me…I can change sizes.'

_'Goddesses damnit Naruto! If you don't take her deal I'll tell Rutela about the time you forgot her birthday and had to be reminded and that gift you got her was at the last minute.'_

_'You wouldn't!'_

_''Try me.'_

''Fine,'' Naruto said in a defeated tone since for some reason he couldn't take his human form. _'Oh this is some ol' bullshit. I'm a grown ass Shinobi I shouldn't have to deal with this shit!'_

''So if you need anything from me, just bark or yell or so, are we all clear?''

''Clear!'' Naruto said still irritated.

'' Good. Now, come on! Get moving!'' She said landed on his back.

''I'm not a horse damnit,'' He said trying to shake the Imp off.

'_You're acting like one.' _Link thought.

_''Oh go f*ck your self Link…''_

0

One tred to the sewer later

0

''Huff... Huff... Can't...run...any...farther... That's...far enough...right? I'll be safe here...I think... What was that noise? Don't... Don't anything come near me!'' Some strange man shouted.

'_Oh great people fear you Link wait ago.'_

''_Me? What did I do?''_

''_Foxes kick ass and well you don't hear us attacking people so obviously your at fault.''_

''What are these black things... Where are they coming from...And how do we get out of here?''

''_You think he means us?'' _Naruto asked Link. ''Hey Imp, Link can't fight in this form,'' He whispered to her.

''All he has to do is think about the enemies he fought in his human form.''

''That doesn't make any sense…Link…bite and scratch at them like an animal…I'm sure by some logic that'll work.

000

After Dispatching the Shadow Creatures

000

''No…The world…it's as it's been frozen in time.'' Naruto said with despair looking at the area.

''So , we were finally able to get out. And look at the sky! Isn't the black cloud of twilight looking beautiful today? Do you know where this is? You STILL don't know? Eee hee hee! Look, there's someone I want to introduce you to...but I'll need you to go to that tower to do it!'' The Imp said while Naruto said nothing.

0

Tower

0

''...Midna?'' The woman said.

''Eee hee! You remember my name? What an honor for me…'' The Imp now known as Midna said.

''Zelda!'' Naruto said running forward.

''Naruto!'' She said kneeling embracing the Golden Kitsune. ''Your ok, for that I'm glad.''

''Same here Princess, I should have been done better I'm sorry.''

''It's not your fault.''

''Not to spoil the cheesy moment but this guy and the wolf! I guess their whom I'm going with. Poor thing, he has no idea where this is or what's happened…'' Midna points to Wold Link. '' So, don't you think you should explain to him what you've managed to do? You owe him that much...Twilight Princess! Eee hee!''

''I been lax on those details as well I'm afraid,'' Naruto commented.

''Very well,'' Zelda turns to Link''Listen carefully...This was once the land where the power of the gods was said to slumber. This was once the kingdom of that blessed kingdom has been transformed by the king that rules the twilight...It has been turned into a world of shadows, ruled by creatures who shun the light.''

0

Flash Back

0

'' It is time for you to choose: surrender or die. Oh yes, a question for all the land and people of Hyrule... Life? Or death?'' The Twilight said holding up his fingers for two of his men to edge their blades to Naruto's throat.

''Wait stop!'' Zelda pleaded seeing the man she loved life's in danger. ''I-I surrender just please spare him and my people.'' _Naruto-kun please wake up soon Hyrule is in danger and we need you and the Chosen Hero once again._

0

Flash Back End

0

'' Twilight covered Hyrule like a shroud, and without light, the people became as spirits. Within the twilight, they live on, unaware that they have passed into spirit forms... All the people know now is fear... Fear of a nameless evil...The kingdom succumbed to twilight, but I remain its princess...I am Zelda.'' She told Link.

''You don't have to look so sad! We actually find it to be quite livable! I mean, is perpetual twilight really all that bad?'' Midna asked.

''Midna... This is no time for levity. The shadow beasts have been searching far and wide for you. Why is this?'

'''Why indeed? You tell me! Eee hee hee!''

''Ignoring the Imp,'' Naruto spoke up. ''We have to do something and fast. I can use most of my abilities and more then capable in my fox form of fighting but we don't have the time to bring Link up to speed not to mention I don't have my equipment either.''

'''I know Naruto-kun but time is scarce and the guards will make their rounds soon, so please leave quickly.''

''Not that way! The guard's coming! Boy, he's prompt!'' Midna said as Link jumped out of the window.

''I'll be back for you soon Hime,'' He said licking her cheek. ''I promise,'' As he jumped out of the window.

''Well I guess a promise is a promise, so I'll let you go back to where you first tumbled into twilight... ''Midna said airily.

'' Link it's your choice if you want to return to Ordon or not.''

'_I have to know if Iila and the others are ok.''_

''Well he wants to return.''

'' But...are you really sure you should we should head there? Are you sure you aren't forgetting anything important?''

Do you want to save them? Well, in that case, little Midna would be happy to help you!But... Well, you'd have to be my servant...and like a servant, you'd have to do exactly as I say! Why don't you go back, take a little time, and give it some thought. Eee hee hee!''

'_Screw that.''_

''_I knew that Imp couldn't be trusted but, lives are on the line. Were going to have to swallow our pride and do it.'_

0

Ordon Outskirts

0

''So, um, what next?''

''Jesus!'' Both animals jumped. ''Didn't you transport us here how in the hell are you here?''

''Eee hee hee! Did you think I'd disappeared? Listen, there's another thing I forgot to tell you... Don't think you can just run off and save your friends, because you can' beyond that bridge, the land is covered in twilight. Last time, a shadow beast pulled you through the curtain of twilight...But if you want to go that way this time, you'll need the cooperation of someone FROM the twilight...like me!''

'_My wife…my son are in danger, there's no time for foolishness. I've got to relax for seven years which Is an ironic amount of time since that same amount of time split me from 'her.' Don't worry guys I'll be there soon._

'' So you really have no choice but to do what I your friends and all that... Well, that'll depend on your actions...Because you never can trust words, you know. Right now, I want a sword and shield that'll suit me. You do understand me, don't you? Eee hee hee!So, what do you plan to do? While you're here dawdling, the twilight continues to expand. Come on! Hurry it up''

''Ok Midna if that's what you really need.'' Naruto said in a neutral tone. He lost his family enough times already. He didn't want to loose them again.

''Uum well, ok then glad you know,'' Midna said somewhat confused as why he referred to her by her given need and wasn't fighting with her on her orders. They went to Link's house and defeated the Bokoblins that inhabited the area and spoke to the squirrel who told him that the animals are always willingly to help one of their own. They got within ear shot of the people who weren't affected by the Twilight. They could hear the mayor giving orders.

'' _Hoo... Hah... I think they scattered... We gotta hurry before the monsters find us again... You bring the shield that's at your house. I'll go to Rusl's place and get the sword we were to present in Hyrule. Hurry! I'm gonna have to go search for those children in Rusl's stead. He's too injured to move quick…''_

''Link you go get the shield and I'll get the sword,'' He told the wolf as they went their separate ways to get the items.

0

Some Time Later

0

_Wait...Come...to my spring...You have...been transformed...by the power...of shadow...Come...to me...Beware...A shadow being...it approaches..._

It didn't take long for them to dispatch the shadow being. Though maybe full body slams wasn't the smartest approach to the situation._O brave youths… I am one of four light spirits that protect Hyrule at the behest of the gods. I am Ordona. The black beast you slayed was a shadow being. It had come to seize the power of light I brethren in Hyrule have already had their light stolen by these fell entire kingdom has been reduced to a netherworld ruled by the cursed powers of darkness. The blight will not stop with Hyrule. Before long, the entire world of light will fall into the hands of the king who rules the twilight. To save this land from the king of twilight, the lost light must be recovered. The three light spirits who have lost their light must be revived. There is but one who can revive them and redeem this land...You too who have still not discovered your true powers…_

_Those transformed by twilight usually cannot recover their original forms... Unless... If you were to return where you were first transformed... If you were to revive the light spirit... There, by the power of the light spirit, you may find the means to regain your other state of being_

0

New Location

0

Naruto and Link appear on the other side of the portal Midna teleported them from. ''You look ridiculous,'' Naruto said to Midna whose small frame couldn't steady the weapons correctly.

''Shut up!…Hmm! So these are the weapons you use in your world? You really think this thing can slay the creatures of twilight?''

''Midna give us a brake it's not like we were warned about said creatures before hand.''

''...Well, I won't use these, but I'll hang on to them for you! All right, a promise is a promise... I trust you enough to help. In exchange for my help, though, I need you to gather some things for me.''

''What kind of things?'' Naruto asked as suspicion was the first thing he was thought to refer to when someone asked him to gather a few things.

''Look, I can't tell you all the details now, but it'll be easy, trust me... But enough about that. Do you hear that noise? It's the lamentation of the spirit that had its light stolen... Where in the world could it be? Eee hee! Better get going, don't you think? Don't blame me for your world's fate if you don't hurry up and find that light! Come on! Snap to it!''

''Alright alright were going.'' He said as Shadow creatures showed up.

'' Aww... We're penned in again! Pffft! Who do they think they're dealing with?No need to take these little pests on one at a time, right? You can take them all at once! So... You can handle this by yourself, can't you? Good luck! 'Bye!'' Midna said as she merged with Naruto's shadow.

''Screw this we don't have time for this,'' Naruto said growing to forty feet and stomping the creatures to death before going back to the size of a normal fox. ''What?''

_''You're an ass-hole…that wasn't necessary…did you have to…''_

''If the question is give them the business like that then the answer is yes…yes I did…Wait what's that…a voice?''Please...be careful... These woods...have changed...The dark clouds of dusk cover this land... This drape of shadows is called... this twilight, those who lived in the light...become as mere spirits...it is a place...where the dark ones and evil creatures dwell...I...am a spirit...of light...Blue-eyed beasts…

_Look...for my light... Retrieve the light stolen by the dark beasts...and keep it...in this the shadows of twilight...the dark insects are as...invisible...as normal beings are here...Let me use the last of my power...to reveal the locations of the dark insects...that consumed the light...Find...the insects of darkness...The dark insects... They are the form taken by evil...once it has latched on to...our scattered light...Mark...these words... In the shadows of twilight...the dark insects are as...invisible...as normal beings are here...Please...look in the places I have marked on your map and recover the Tears of Light from these...insects of darkness.._

_._''So we have to kill bugs now, great,'' Naruto said sarcastically. ''Well do it this way I'll cover North and you south,'' He said as they split up. Naruto killed the bugs with swift attacks ignoring the Keese and Deku Babas that got into his path while dodging the fog. Soon they cleared the area of bugs and gathering all sixteen light Vessel of Light is full of tears, and light has returned to this area!

''Aww, but it was so nice here in the twilight... What's so great about a world of light, anyway? Eee hee hee! See you later!'' She said as she vanished into Naruto's shadow as a Spirit of Light appeared. My name is Faron. I am one of the spirits of light who dwell in Hyrule. I use the life force of the gods to protect this forest.

The two had once again retained their human forms. The Light Spirit disappeared and Midna appeared.

''Well, well…seems like the wolf is chosen hero and all that, huh? So THAT'S why you turned into that beast!…Though why did you turn into a fox?''

''I had that abilities for years.''

''Hhm…What a shame... I mean, maybe you'd rather just wander as a spirit like the rest of them, totally unaware of what was happening for all eternity...right?Eee hee hee! So... What do you want to do? Do you want to head to that temple?''

''Of course we are,'' Naruto answered.

''Well, isn't that convenient! I was about to head there , look... You want to help your friends, right? The way I see it, maybe they're in the temple, waiting for you to rescue them... Well, good luck, Mr. Important Hero! Mr. Transforming Fox Eee hee hee! See you later!'' (Long story short when she says see you later obviously she merges with Naruto shadow.)

_O brave youth...In the land covered in twilight, where people roam as spirits, you were transformed into a blue-eyed beast...That was a sign...It was a sign that the powers of the chosen one rest within you ...and that they are at your awakened form...The green tunic that is your garb once belonged to the ancient hero chosen by the gods...His power is yours. His is the true power that slept within you. Your name is are the hero chosen by the Link...A dark power rests in the temple deep within these is a forbidden power. Long, long ago, I and the other spirits of light locked it of its nature, it is a power that should never be touched by any who dwell in the this world weeps beneath a mantle of shadows, and so there is no choice... You must match the power of the king of you would seek this forbidden power, then proceed to the temple in the forest depths._

''Well '' Sigh ''Here we go, The Forest Temple…for the fifty damn time,'' Naruto muttered. _''I fucking hate temples! At least things can't get any...''_

_''NARRRRUTOO!'' _

Naruto's head shot up to see a very pissed, very golden wolf formed Lina.

''_Fuck my life!''_


	18. Temples Again! Yay!

HAT Abridged 18

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Another Kyuubi16Parody.

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''Normal Speech''

_Inner Thoughts, Dialogue, or reading passages from books and scrolls_

(Quick Notes and Messages or Echoes.)

**(Dark over lapping echoes)**

**''Boss Summons, Demons, Dark beings speaking, Demonic/Angry characters Speaking as well as extremely Dark spells and Magic.''**

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Author's Note

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Rating R for strong language, sexual situations, drug references, and just plain ol' insanity.

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STORY START

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''Hey, what's this monkey's problem?'' Midna asked as a monkey stole their lantern. They had just got to the Forest Temple Path after getting in thanks to Coro who gave them a key.

''You idiots! While you were both staring off into dreamland, the lantern got stolen!''

''Calm down Midna will get it back,'' Naruto reassured her creating several Kagebunshin sending them out in all directions. Eventually one of the clones returned with the lantern. ''See it,'' Light goes out. ''Darn monkey used all the soil.''

''Aah yes...thanks to Major dumbass who once again keeps forgetting his abilities when it's useful.''

''You know what Lina you already mauled me and now I'm stuck with a limp. Besides if you weren't off in theraphy when the castle was attacked we wouldn't be in this mess.''

''My fault? How the hell could you have possibly losed to a demented...''

''And retarted,'' Midna added, interrupting Lina.

''Right and retarded Twili?''

''I had a cold ok. And I was hung over. And I had just finished the medication the doctor gave me for that itch.''

''Which you deserved for sticking your slong into anything with a vagina.''

''Oh let's not start this again.''

After hours of arguing, with Lina mauling another one of Naruto's legs they finally arrived to the North part of Faron Providence.

''I think I smell more oil so there's probably a shop let's go. Like two seconds later they materalized in Trill's shop.

''Welcome! Hey! Buy something! Anything!'' He pleaded only for Midna to headbutt the shit out of him.

''Quick! Grab everything we can before he wakes up!''

''Great...so she's insane and a klepotomaniac. Great job Naruto,'' Lina snarked as stuck out his tongue.

''Oh hush you! She's the only one that really knows about the enemy. Let's just get to this damn temple and get everything over with.'

_'I should have never gotten out of bed,'_ Link thought with a sigh.

''I'll take two red potions and some lantern oil,'' Pays Rupees.

''Thank you! Hey! Thank you! Come back sometime! Hey!''

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Temple's Entrance

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''It's not just me right? You guys can see him too right?'' He asked his companions as an Golden Wolf Appeared. It suddenly attacked them and everything went white and when they came to they were at a place that seemed to be a cloudy version of Hyrule.

''_A sword wields no strength unless the hand that holds it has may be destined to become the hero of legend...but your current power would disgrace the proud green of the hero's tunic you must use your courage to seek power...and find it you must. Only then will you become the hero for whom this world you do find true courage, and you wish to save Hyrule from the horrors it now faces...Then you will be worthy to receive the secrets I hold !Enemies that are filled with energy will quickly recover and attack again even when stunned by a powerful ending blow is a secret technique you can use on stunned enemies to end their breath before they spring back into an enemy lies collapsed on the ground, stunned, without delay to leap high into the air and deliver a final strike. When the opportunity to end their breath is before you... appear vividly before your , try it on me!_

The green clad hero then attempts a strike with his blade.

_To stun an enemy and knock him down, you must strike repeatedly with powerful moves like the jump attack and spin attack, or rapid and repeated sword strikes are most effective. _Link then brings the weight of his weapon down into the warrior's chest.

_Hmm. That was a pinpoint first hidden skill, the ending blow, has been passed on!_

_There are still six hidden skills for you to are only for one who carries the blood of the hero...the one whose spirit is that of the sublime powerful. Test your courage. And when you find that you need another skill to overcome the threats that face you...Search for the statues that howl with the sound of the wind. Seek the sound that calls to the spirit of the beast to awaken me again. A sword wields no strength unless the hand that holds it has courage. Remember those words...Farewell!_

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The Forest Temple

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''Hey! That's the monkey that stole your lantern! Doesn't it look like she's beckoning you? Aren't you the popular one? Eee hee!''

''Midna must you always be so cynical?'' Naruo asked her as Link lit the torches with his lantern. 'Then again it's better then you being insane and incoherent.''

''I like cupcakes!''

''No way! Me too!''

''Hmm... What are you doing, turning the lights on? You might as well light them all and make this place really bright!''

One of the monkeys severs the cords of the bridge with his boomerang

''Oh! What's going on? Has there been a monkey fight? Oh no! Now we can't go any farther. We might as well go back. I don't know what's going on, but it seems like she wants to take you somewhere, so maybe you should just follow her.''

(They follow the Monkey)

They entered the room as the monkey ran forward a rickety bridge.

A Baboon will suddenly appear and uses a Boomerang to destroy the bridge.

''Damn monkeys,'' Naruto muttered. ''Let's go back to the other room.''

''Wait...don't you have some sort of power of something. That can fly us over there?'' Lina asked as Naruto raised an eye.

''Uum...not while I'm a fox.''

''Oh for Goddess's sake you transform into a damn Fox all the time! Just change back!''

''Well I could but what if the item we need to kill the boss, because there's always a boss at the dungeon is back there somewhere?''

''You better be right.''

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Central Chamber

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They ran back towards the altar In the center of the room. The monkey climbs up onto suspended rope on the east side of the altar. ''I think the monkey will catch you if you jump,'' He told Link as he jumped forward and spun forward after letting go of the monkeys hand , using the momentum to reach the other side. ''Try it.''

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The Forest Temple - Water Chamber

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They head north where they run into a stranger spider-like creature which Links slay with a sword only for it to blow up in their faces. They continued to where Naruto shattered the boulder with a punch sending pieces of the rock into jars where a strange chicken like creature appeared.

''Phew! Out at last! Gracious... Once I got in there, I couldn't squeeze back out! You were a big help... Thanks! I've been looking for something in here, you see. Gracious, yes! You must need something here, too. Shall we try working together for a while, fellow adventurer? You may not think I look like much, but I can be quite helpful! I can even warp you out of here if you want to leave! So don't think of me as a burden! Now let's get started! '' Introductions were made as they were explained the mechanics of the teleportation and about Oocoo Jr.

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Sometime later

The Forest Temple - Wind Chamber

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''And that's why his mother hasn't spoken to me since,'' Naruto finished as they entered the wind chamber.

''Didn't we see the Baboon here?'' Link asked him.

''Don't remind me...if we catch him I say we shank him.'' He said as the bridged aligned with the platform. They killed the Keese guarding the bridge and continued onward to the other side.

''What is with you and trying to kill everything?''

''I know miss let's see the last five rooms on fire isn't talking about my need to kill things. ''

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A couple of chambers later

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''Ok seriously how the hell do these people manage to build these places?'' Naruto raved from the complexity and headache of solving temple after dungeon after temple. ''It's that damn Baboon quick let's kill it.'' Naruto said as it used the Gale Boomerang to knock boko babas from the ceiling. ''Din's Fire,'' He shouted as a sphere of fire erupted around him burning all the monsters. The Baboon throws the boomerang which Naruto dodges it using Farore's Wind and kicks the creature down onto the ground where Link stabs it in the head. Naruto picks up the boomerang and It started to speak.

''**Thank you for freeing me. I am the Fairy of Winds who resides in this boomeran. You have freed me from evil, and I now have my true power back. Giving this boomerang the ability to make winds when thrown. If you focus power in your boomerang before releasing it, it will unleash the power of wind, aiding you in unforeseen ways. ''**

''No way! This kicks ass! Ever since I was a young boy with a boy that transforms me into various beings I always dreamed about meeting a hot fairy. At long last! My life's mission is complete.''

''**That's not all...I can sense it within you, the wind running through your veins.''**

''It's always been my most natural and complimented element so I guess will work well together.''

''**I ask of you to be your companion, to marry me as you are the only that can bring out my true potential, and wield me and be my master.**" There was a slight blush on Naruto's face, because of her choice of words.

''Ooh Kinky.'' '

''**No need to be embarrassed Master I am forever within your debt.''**

''Very well I accept you as my partner in ways of the old.''

''So...master huh?''

''Shut up Link!''

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After freeing the Monkeys... Boss Fight- Twilit Parasite DIABABA

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''Giant Five-headed Deku Baba huh that's new...let's blow some shit up,'' Naruto said as he, Lina and Link toss the Spider Bombs into the Diababa's mouths or arms as they were the only ones in reach while Naruto's Kagebunshin drew it's attention so they would be hit by it's poisonous slime.

''**Master I can hit the heads of the creature that are father away.''**

''Very well,'' He said jumping over one of it's heads charging his chakra into the boomerang threw it at Diababa stunning it. ''Link Now!'' He shouted to the Hylian that ran forward with the Ordon blade and slashed at the creature horizontal and vertically until it turned to dust. A' Fuse Shadow' then appears.

**''Eee hee hee! Well done! That's...what I was looking for. That's a Fused 's what the light spirit called dark power... Do you remember what that spirit said? About how you had to match the power of the king of shadows?Could it really be so easy? Is this all there is to it? Eee hee hee! There's a total of three Fused Shadows. I think the other light spirits have the rest... If you want to know exactly what Fused Shadows are... Well, maybe I'll tell you if you find the other two.I guess you'd better do your best to find them, huh? Eee hee hee!So let's not waste any more time here when we could be looking for the other two... I'll get you out of here... ''**

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Outside the Temple

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''_Heroic Heroes...Do not think that Hyrule is now saved from the spread of twilight...Leave these woods and go to the west, where you will find the land protected by the spirit Eldin. There you will find those you seek... But know that these lands lie in twilight... They are now a dark realm covered by the clouds of you set foot beyond the curtains of twilight, you will revert to your beast form, so be prepared. Heroes chosen by the gods, leave these woods and go west, to the land of the spirit Eldin.''_

''So a few more of these things to go...God this feels like searching for the Spirit Stones all over again...Before we continue we need to go to Kakariko village I need to find my wife.''

''A wife huh?'' Midna suddenly spoke up, but Naruto was so concerned he didn't catch the disappointed tone in her voice. That would make kidnapping him to make him her sex slave all the more challenging.

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Faron Province

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**''That's better. Searching should be much easier now. ! I guess you guys didn't so bad after all.''**

''What's this I'm hearing? Midna the imp is actually complimenting us.''

**''Stow it Fox...I have a heart, I just don't feel like using it.''**

''Whatever you say but if the other fuse shadows your looking for are in areas with Twilight does that mean will loose our humans for again?''

**''Don't worry about it when you guys turn into beasts again , I'll take good care of you. The first thing you need to do is find the land covered in twilight. Once you do, I'll help you out. Eee hee hee! See you later!''** She said disappearing into Naruto's shadow.

''No matter how many times she does that it creeps me the fuck out!''

''Well captian Ass, come on, we have to head to Hyrfule Field now.

The distant continuity land meets sky without sinew, beyond the rim at the top of the hill, Hyrule Castle stands bathed in the tangled gloom of twilight under the vast veneer of the Twilight King.

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After Meeting the Mail carrier

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**''Hey, it was much closer than I thought... You remember, right? You know what this is? If you set foot in there, you might be animals again for quite some time... For at least as long as it takes you to save the light of Eldin from the twilight, anyway...So, shall we try to go see the light spirit Eldin? Want me to let you into the twilight?''**

''We don't have much of a choice. And why does your voice keep changing?''

''Ahh, look! How lovely! The black clouds of twilight are so fetching today...I feel so much more at ease here...''

'''You're not going to answer my question are you?''

**''Hey! I have you know I was once a beautiful woman...the most beautiful of all Twili.''**

''Yeah right and I was once a monkey.''

''I'm being serious...''

''I am too...I was a monkey for about twenty minutes but whatever you say Midna.''

'_She could be telling the truth.'_

'_If I had a rupee for every supposed beautiful woman I would have 200 rupees.'_

_'And if I had a rupee for everything I went to the healer's to make sure you haven't passed on something to me.''_

_'I know miss let's use the tree branch isn't trying to say I caught us something!'_

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Time Skip

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''Great the freaking bridge is gone...I could leap it but then you two would be stuck.''

''Oh for the love of all that's above stop being an ass-hat and use freaking alchemy or something to fix the bridge.''

''I don't think I learned that skill yet. ''

**''Anyway I wonder if this is the work of those shadow creatures... Ugh... What a pain! Ah well, let's look for it... You! Get your map out! The yellow arrow marks where we are. You knew that, right?''**

''Yes Midna I made the maps...if you give me a few minutes I could focus on the creatures signature and fixate them on the map and when I kill them their signatures should disappear.''

**''Whatever...I'll use my power to take you to the location of the open portal... Pick where you want to go. ''**

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Time Skip-After killing some insects.

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''_To the hero...who was transformed into a blue-eyed beast...in the realm of shadows... In twilight... ...This way... ...I am...a spirit...of light... Hero...chosen by the gods... Look for...my light... Gather the light stolen by the shadows...into this...The insects of darkness... They are the form taken...by the evil that attached itself...to my scattered light... In this shadowy twilight...the shadow insects are invisible, much as the people from your light world are... With the last of my power...let me mark your map...with the locations...of the tears that have turned into...shadow insects...But...be careful... The darkness...now hunts you...''_

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A few minutes later

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''Will you stop giving me that look,'' Naruto said to the other two blonds still in their animal forms. '''It's not my fault I stored some of the energy to help retain my human form. ''

_''As you see Link. It's times like this I'm glad you take more after me then this idiot.''_

''Is this because of the whole you being annoyed by my comedic insanity? I thought we put this behinds us? Like the me being laid epically through a series of adventures.''

''Get laid,'' Midna interjected. ''Whoa what's this all about...''

''Well back several years ago,'' Explains what happened in the spirit temple. ''And that's how I ended up riding Twinrova,'' He finished as they arrived at the KakarikoVillage. Specifically Renado's house.

''Cripes! I don't see those black brutes anywhere...They've gotta be hidin' somewhere, waitin' for their helpless little prey to come out! Then they'll FEAST!'' Shouted Barnes.

''We are safe as long as we remain in here, child. Be at ease. ''Renado comforted Barnes.

''Oh yeah? I wonder if the monsters out there agree with you...They sure didn't seem impressed by my bombs! How long do you think we can hold this sanctuary against beasts that strong, huh? Once they attack, it's OVER! Remember that lady from the general store? Just one of those things attacked her, and a whole gang from town went to save her! And what happened? She was already gone, and there were TWO monsters waitin'!'' He said as Beth started crying.

''Don't cry, Beth! It'll be OK! Link and Naruto are coming to save us all! ...I can feel it!'' Colin(Naruto and Uli's secret love child) comforted her.

''These kids knew you'd come to save them! What heroes!''

**''How sad, to be right in front of someone and not be noticed at all... Eee hee hee!''**

''Midna do you mind?''

**''Sorry,''** She apologized as Naruto looked up her not expecting that. He blinked and figured he must have been hearing things.

''Anyway if we light the candles we should be able to break the barriers, trust me after some of the confusing puzzles I solved in the past I can pretty much spot one a mile away.''

(All candles are lit.)

''What sorcery is this? The entrance to the cellar opening on its own...Could these beasts have engineered even this?'' This question came from Barnes.

''Guys I trust you to finish the rest I'm going to find my family.''

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Few seconds later

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Naruto not so subtly drops out of a portal startling everyone. ''Sorry about that but as you can see this stuff is not so easy to navigate through.

''Dad!''

''Naruto!''

Rutela and Ralis ran over to Naruto pulling him into a hug. ''I missed you guys, I'm glad your safe. What happened to the others?'' He asked as they explained how the creatures attacked and how the guards were killed. He then explained the situation and told them all to wait there and he would return to them as soon as he was done.


	19. Lina the Badass!

Heroes Across Time Abridged

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I would like to get a shout out to Adamswestlapdog from Youtube. A lot of the material here is based off his abridged series, so credit goes where credit is due. But of course with a female link it couldn't be all that much.

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Warning

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This will be far more perverted and violent. Meaning random Lemons, some small, swearing and violence. No one under 18 should be reading this. Also this one of the few stories who I will write an extra chapter for and update along with the rest of my stories. So please be grateful and review and praise my awesomeness. IF YOU'RE A FAN GO SUBSCRIBE TO MY COMMUNITY PLEASE! I'M NUMBER 10 IN THE RANKINGS AND I NEED MORE SUBSCRIBERS! ALSO GO CHECK OUT MY NEWEST STORIES AND REVIEW THANK YOU!

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Naruto xHarem

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STORY START

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''Aah yes the dungeon for the Gorons... last time I did this, a dragon was killed.'' Naruto explained as they entered the dungeon. ''Though they weren't such asses...It was a good thing I beat them. ''

''Wait wasn't it Grandma Lina that laid the killing blow, did most of the fighting, and solve most of the puzzles?'' Link asked as Naruto's eye twitch.

''Shut the hell up and listen to my tells of awesomeness.''

''Your awesomeness? I did most of the damn work. Hell Link was the one who defeated that Goron what did you do?''

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Flash Back- After Link beats Gor Goron

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''Young warrior... You have a strong will...and sharp eyes. Fine traits... Want to see how well you can use them? You have seen it, I would bet... The mountain, erupting without pause... When the mountain began to rage, all four of us elders and Darbus, our patriarch, went inside to investigate its anger. We have a treasure that was entrusted to us by the spirits, and we must protect it. Do you understand? But the moment Darbus reached out and touched the treasure...everything went wrong. He collapsed...and before our very eyes transformed into an unspeakable monster! He began to rage through the mines, trailing ruin behind him...and the eruptions grew more frequent and more severe. We used all of our strength to seal him deep inside the mountain... It...grieved us to do this to our patriarch...but we had no other course of action. I ask this favor of you, young warrior... Go to the aid of Darbus! Make no mistake, the spirits have guided you here. I, Gor Coron, need your help...On behalf of my entire clan, I ask of your aid!...You two! Let the young warrior pass! The mines are full of traps, all placed to protect the treasure from thieves. And worse than traps... Since the eruptions began, foul creatures of all shapes have settled into every corner of the mines. Getting to the patriarch's location will not be easy. I would prepare your blade, young warr...aaah!" the goron fail to one knee. ''Damn...my horoscope warned me to be aware around swords. Bleh!''

The group turned to Naruto who dropped the items he was juggling. ''Ganondorf did it!''

''I still stick to my story that it was Ganondorf!'' Naruto said as they continued their journey.''

''It was your sword! That you used to kill monsters no more then fifteen minutes ago!'' Lina argued as Naruto feverishly shook his no.

''No god damnit it was Ganondorf! It's always Ganondorf! Just like it's always Doctor Robotnik! Like it's always Dr. Wily or Sigma! Just like it's always Bowser or Ridley! I know what I am talking about so stop arguing with me woman!''

Next thing Naruto knew he got a boot to the gut.

''Great grandma Lina why did you marry Greatgrandpa Naruto again?'' Link asked as Lina paused and sighed. She folded her arms as she reflected back to why did she marry Naruto.

''I could have done a lot worse Link. The men in Kakiriko town were either effeminate pussies or morons. The other man species were Gorons, Zoras, and the Kokiri. So between a rough rock cock that would tear me apart, one that wouldn't get hard, and a small one that would give me the label of a pedophile I really didn't have much of a choice! That and our relationship is more of a physical thing.''

''I'm going to need therapy before this is over aren't I?''

''Yes indeed Link. Lots and lots of therapy.'' she said as she turned to Naruto. ''And for god sakes use some of your damn shadow clones to solve the temples you lazy bastard!''

''You know what...'' Naruto said doing a head snap. ''We come across a Like Like I'm tossing you in ass first.''

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The Clones completing the Dungeon

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The first couple of clones jumped across the platforms over the pools of lava below while dodging the erupting pillars. Using their strength they smash the boards and continued forward and around the corner they found an oddly-shaped tile in the floor. Two of the clones stood on the switch deactivating a pillar of fire blocking the next passage. The rest of the clones continued on and repeated the process leaving two more clones behind. After many confusing trail and error attempts with the switches they manage to climb onto a platform , jump onto the opposite ledge of it and unseal the door.

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Goron Mines - Crane Chamber

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Using some lightning Jutsu they killed the Bokoblins and opened a chest to find the first key.

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Goron Mines - Sliding Wall Room

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They continued along the catwalk to a series of platforms to encounter a Dodongo below. They hit the creature with an earth Jutsu and continued on south then head east crossing the pool of lava to end up looking back and heading west. They jumped through the lava geyser and continued on south. Climbing along the platforms and killing the dodongo. ''Uum guys why don't we just walk on the walls?'' A clone suggested as the rest of them groaned and face palmed.

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Clones memories transferred back to Naruto.

Gor Amoto

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_Ah... I thought I felt a presence...but what a surprise to find a young human...Word has come to me of you...and if Gor Coron has faith in you, then your heart must be true. ...I am one of the four Goron elders. Gor Amoto is my are heroic, young human. Please, you must lend this tribe your is one of the key shards that, when merged together, form the key to the room where Darbus is being held. He is our key is split into three pieces. Each of us elders keeps a must hurry to the other elders! The other two elders are at altars in the mine. They are praying...Collect all three key shards and save our tribe's patriarch! He suffers under the power of evil..._

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Clones memories transferred back to Naruto.

Gor Ebizo

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_Oh... Ah... The young human. I am pleased to see you make it this far, Brudda... I am one of the four elders of the Goron tribe. I am called Gor have heard of the plight of our patriarch. Otherwise you would not have come to see me. Here, take this, Brudda...Now... There is one more shard, but seeing you has reminded me of the dangers that line the path to it...There is something that may help you... A weapon said to have been left in this mine by a hero of is beyond price, and so we have protected it through generations...Now, when our tribe balances on the brink of ruin, it could aid in our salvation. The Hero's weapon is stored safely up ahead...Talk to the guard and take it with you, with the blessing of the are limits to what we elders can do to contain Darbus now that he has been overcome by evil..._

_0_

Clones memories transferred back to Naruto.

Gor Liggs

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_Ah! You are here at last! I've been waiting_

_0_

_heard that you might pay a visit, young human. I am farsighted in all things. Here you go...the last key shard! Combine all three shards! If you use that key, you can open the room where Darbus, the tribal patriarch, is being held. Who knows how powerful Darbus is in his new grotesque form...But I suppose I should trust your power, considering you came this far...Hurry, now! To the patriarch's room! The Hero's weapon you claimed... That weapon is said to have defeated the most powerful evils this world has ever known. It might even work to calm Darbus...You are probably not used to it, so before going any further, you should work with a little._

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Transference of Memories End

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''See only took about an hour and since my clones took your appearance they didn't have any problems getting the keys.''

**''A lazy bastard who sends others to do his work for him. You wouldn't have happened to been a Congressman in your past life would you?'' **Midna asked, finally making her presence known.

''No...nothing that terrible.''

**''Republican?''**

''Hey! I actually care about children's education, poor people, and not giving people a hard fucking time because of their race or social status! I also don't support people of lower intelligence in important government rules because they would be easy to manipulate and make more money for my private interests thank you! I proudly don't discriminate and manipulate smart people to do things for me thank you very much.

And finally they came across the boss fight! A BIG FUCKING DRAGON!

**''Twilit Igniter Fyrus (Awakening Fire Beast Magdoflamoth) '' Is the creatures name and his weak point is the red jewel on his head,'' **Midna told him.

''Holy crap...she's like an imp like possibly evil version of Navi!'' Naruto pointed out much to Midna's annoyance.. ''Ok so Kakusei Kaenjū Magudofureimosu is the creature's name huh?''

''That's not...''

''In my language Midna before you get all pissy.'' He finished as the creature roared. They turned to see Link had shot it with an arrow and was dragging it down by pulling down it's chain while wearing the Iron Boots.

Then of course Lina leapt up in the air and stabbed THE BIG FUCKING DRAGON in the face with her sword.

''God damn Lina makes me hot when she's being all badass like that?''

**''UUm aren't you going to help them?'' **Midna asked as Naruto chuckled.

''No they got this cover! If there is anything I'm hot for besides a girl with legs, buxom breasts, ass, hips, hospital hotties, hourglass hotties, gothic lolitas, pirate babes, ninja babes, fish chicks of humanoid shape, foreigners, french foreigners, latina chicks, dark skinned bootylicious babes, magic girlfriends, red heads, blondes, pale skinned chicks, brown haired chicks, violet eyed chick, grey eyes chicks, and all of the above then it's Amazons.''

''**What did I do wrong? All I did was wake up to start my day by going for a flight before going to visit that orphanage I single handily built! **'**' The boss thought as he was being repeatedly stabbed in the face.**

''See look they're done already.''

''**Frynia...Fryica...Fyrus-Jr. Daddy won't be able to come pick you up from daycare today. Good bye my children.''**

''And that is that.''

**''Actually I think that might have been the wrong dragon!'' **Lina said as the three blonds's heads snapped up.

''Wait...what!'' Lina cried out horrified.

**''If my Dragonic isn't too rusty I think this might have been the cousin of Fyrus! And I think he might have had kids!''**

''Yeah nice job breaking it heroes! You orphaned dragon babies you dicks!'' And somehow Naruto missed the uppercut Lina had set up as he sent flying into a wall.

After spending a few minutes grieving over the fact they murdered an innocent dragon the group continued on and killed the real boss.

''Ok , you know what you know more then your letting on obviously so Midna could you please tell us why were collecting something that's obviously pretty evil.'

**''Ok sure no problem my little fox.''**

'_Is it me or is she flirting with me?' _

''I once laughed at the idea of you fucking an Imp! But then I realized this was you we were talking about and remembering all the sick and kinky shit we've done over the years that this is not above you! So Naruto...if you fuck her; at least have the common courtesy of letting me know so I can be there the first time.''

''Kick...ASS!''

Link began to wonder if it was too late to go back and take up that fairy's offer and grow up as an orphan? After all orphans grew up with very specific issues that tend to vary on experiences in life. There was nothing in Hyrule or any world else that could prepare one for relatives like this. Considering that they were his great grand parents and they reincarnated themselves and were his grand parents as well with memories of their past lives; it was safe to say Link's entire parentage was pretty fucked up!

**''Zant. That's the name of the King of Darkness who cast this pall of shadows over your world. He's very strong. The kid over there... would be nothing to him in your current state... ''**

''Hey!'' Link yelled indignantly.

**''But the chick seems to kick ass! Anyone that can stab something that many times in the face ozzes badass!''**

''Hey! She's only that good because she had practice with me!'' Naruto replied a little miffed. ''And no I am not going into the specifics.''

**'''Aaw don't be jealous Fox, you seem more resourceful , probably more then most I've seen.''**

''So this guy, Zant is your Ki...'' Naruto started to say but was cut off.

**'' Zant will never be my king! I have nothing but scorn for his supposed strength. Not that your Zelda is much better...''**

''Take that Back!'' Naruto shouted. ''Zelda is a wonderful person and a great ruler, you know nothing.''

''It still appalls me that this world of light is controlled by that princess. A carefree youth, a life of luxury... How does that teach duty?''

''Not everyone is going to live by the same rules or lives. If I had lived by everyone else's I would have died a long time ago.''

**''I see...I guess I shouldn't begrudge her the circumstances of her life. She didn't choose it, after all. And I would never wish harm on her...''**

''Then why do you have much disdain for her and this world? What have we ever done to you?''

**''It's...a sore subject...maybe someday I'll tell you, but, as long as I can get my hands on the Fused Shadows, I'll be just fine. Well, just one more left... Shall we? Eee hee hee!''**

'_Becoming my shadow as always...if my inner darkness was like you, cynical...then maybe he wouldn't have been born. _''Let's go Link, happy fun time partner, we got another fuse shadow to find.''

''Yeah um about that...I think I need a doc...'' Falls over unconscious.

''That can't be good.''

''Naruto quick hand me a potion.'' Lina said as Naruto raised an eyebrow. ''You forgot to get a potion did you?''

Naruto opened his mouth to replied only to be hit by the grip of Lina's sword.

0

Some time later

0

''Ok he should be coming too any second now,'' Naruto told the Imp after casting the Cura spell. Something he learned from being sent into the future to gain a rare potion when Lina was poisoned and ended up dicking around. He knew that he eventually saved her as the world wasn't controlled by evil; thank god the goddesses were all powerful apparently. But that made him wonder why depend on mortals? After much thought he finally came up with an answer. Every story that included gods had to make them dicks, lazy, or the bullshit excuse that mortals had to fight to protect their own world instead of giving well thought out and reasonable answers for why these all powerful beings had to rely on regular beings who often couldn't survive a bullet to the head or a sword to the heart.

''Midna , I'm not going to leave Link 'The Chosen Hero' behind just so you can freely torture me.''

**''What! Why would I torture you?''**

''You did try to strangle me with that hair of yours a few hours ago.''

**''Ok your point? I mean I actually have helped!''**

''Yeah ok so you been killing monsters left and right when Link is a wolf I'll admit that. Though without you boosting his jumping abilities we probably been screwed over some time ago.''

**''See I'm invaluable.''**

''Yeah but that doesn't mean much against enemies with those Fused Shadow pieces now would it?''

**''Pfft please, I'd handle my self just fine.''**

''That hair of yours may be able to make a fist and smash enemies but can you use it to propel your self into the air to deliver the punishment.''

**''The punishment?''**

''Yeah um that didn't come out right...screw it let's just go. I'll take Link's form until he wakes up.''

0

Spring in Kakariko

0

''_Heroic Link...North of here, across the plain and past the great stone bridge, in the lands guarded by the spirit Lanayru... You shall find one who you seek...''_

0

Lanayru Province

0

''And that's the second aspect of Hirashin no Jutsu...After you master the part of self summoning or Human summoning which even most seal masters can do you can do the aspect or opening a rift in time to allow you to move from one spot to the other. Getting those two downs allow the user to use Flash Step...I'm still working on an even faster and more powerful third version that has no counterpart in any world or dimension...Hey Link's finally awake.''

''Uugh where am I?''

''Long story short Colin (Naruto and Colin's mom secret love child) asked me while I was transformed as you to save your fiance Iila so yeah, were at the province...That kid is awesome though...those other ones are douche bags for knocking him over even if they were excited to see us; your grandma left the other day to get rare potion ingredients to heal you but it's no longer necessary now. Oh yeah by the way you're a wolf again.''

''Son of a Bi...''


	20. Snack Cake Master

Heroes Across Time Abridged

0

I would like to get a shout out to Adamswestlapdog from Youtube. A lot of the material here is based off his abridged series, so credit goes where credit is due. But of course with a female link it couldn't be all that much.

0

Warning

0

This will be far more perverted and violent. Meaning random Lemons, some small, swearing and violence. No one under 18 should be reading this. Also this one of the few stories who I will write an extra chapter for and update along with the rest of my stories. So please be grateful and review and praise my awesomeness. IF YOU'RE A FAN GO SUBSCRIBE TO MY COMMUNITY PLEASE! I'M NUMBER 10 IN THE RANKINGS AND I NEED MORE SUBSCRIBERS! ALSO GO CHECK OUT MY NEWEST STORIES AND REVIEW THANK YOU!

0

Naruto xHarem

0

STORY START

0

'_Zelda I hope your ok...I hope your ok too Ralis, Rutela...I know how strong you are and if this bastard is like Midna depicted then he would have executed you as an example to those who defied him. _

0

Flash Back-Lemon

0

_A Grey outfit that hugged her body with creamy angelic skin and golden hair and dark blue eyes. It was Queen Rutela in human form. A blade strapped by her side; one Naruto had crafted for her.  
_

''Husband, care to join me for a nice morning dip,'' Rutela invited as she loosened her clothing, letting it fall to reveal her curves_._

''I find that a divine idea my queen.'' Naruto agreed as he followed his wife who was shaking her behind enticingly. Naruto took off his clothing as they got to lake's edge and let the cold water brush again his skin. ''Your beautiful, human or Zora, your beautiful.'' He said kissing her hand.

''And you handsome,'' She said pressing her lips against his. ''Honey,'' She said as she bit her bottom lip. Naruto could see she was waging an inner battle within her self.

''Yes what is it?'' He asked her soothingly.

''No never mind forget it,'' She was interrupted as Naruto captured her lips against his own.

''What is it?''

''I want to have a baby,'' She whispered softly rubbing her stomach. ''I want to raise little Zo...'' Naruto interrupted her again and took off the mask she was wearing to reveal her natural form. He then slipped on the mask taking the form of a Golden Zora with brown spots.

''I want that too,'' He said pressing her against the edge of the land. He let his member which was leaner in size and was shaped like a fin. He let his hands travel her bosom as he planted his mouth on her neck. ''Aah! Ooh!'' Was what he heard from his wife as he brushed the tip against her opening. ''You ready Rutela-Koishii?''

''Yes...please...complete me my love,'' She moaned as Naruto penetrated her opening with his member.

Naruto groaned as he slipped his member into her wet opening which instead of having fleshy wall like most human girls or girls in human forms her walls had several folds compressed together that seemed to massage his member as if her vagina was that of a mammalian species. Pressing his weight against hers he rapidly thrust in and out of her causing her to moan and scream in pleasure. He gripped her firm bottom with his hands as he picked up the pace and pressed his lips against hers firmly. The splashing of the water reaching their ears and the cold temperature cooled their hot bodies.

''I...I...Naruto,'' She whispered bucking her hips wildly onto his erection..

''Rutela,'' Naruto groaned as he filled her body with his seed. Spurt after spurt filled her core as their bodies mess as they continued to rut like wild animals in heat until both of them were exhausted and sure that she was filled with enough of his seed to guarantee one child.

_0_

Flash Back End

0

''So what are you thinking about?''

''A lot of things...my family; mainly sex. Man I'm going to be pissed if there isn't an orgy party in my honor when this is over.''

''**Master I'm sure that you'll have a nice big orgy when it's over.'' **The Fairy of the Winds cooed to Naruto.

''Thanks...you know Fairy of the Winds sounds complicated as a name so I'll call you Kaze-hime which means Wind Princess.''

''**I...thank you master.''**

**''Geesh is every girl you meet a princess or something**?'' Midna asked in a jealous tone.

''You don't here a hime at the end of your name do you?''

**''Now come on is that any reason to treat a woman such as my self in such a harse tone,**'' Midna said tracing her fingers in Naruto's fur. For some strange reason he was a wolf again and then he was human.

''Stop that...I told you before, hips or not I don't do imps. At least not after that one incident or maybe it was the fact I spent so much time drinking.''

''Stop that...'' Naruto could see Twilight up ahead. ''I'm going to go explore the Twilight. You guys wait here until Lina catches up. She should have found our note and directions by now.'' he informed them as he took off ahead.

**''Ok seriously, you said he wasn't dunce right Wolf so how come he can't tell I'm flirting with him?''**

**''Because you're mean and hit people,'' whap '' like that and there was no reason for you to hit me.''**

''Wow so can speak more then just phrases.''

''This light energy has left me strangely revitalized...anyway there's more to the story then I told you.''

After hearing Naruto's long, complicated, and crazy backstory Midna resolved to be a little bit nicer in her attempts to get into his pants.

And now they transitioned to the part of the their journey where the castle was under siege or maybe it always had been.

''Hey Naruto you ready? The sooner we get the Fused Shadow the sooner we can help your family.''

''Ready Midna sorry for the hold up.''

''All right then...''

''What the fuck?'' Lina said as she ran up, out of breath. ''You ass-holes left me.''

''Sorry about that. Let's go kick some ass!'' Naruto exclaimed as he ran forward.

''After this...I'm filing for a divorce.'' Lina grumbled as they continued on ahead. Soon enough Wolf Link picked up Iila's scent.

**'' You smell the girl, don't you? I can tell by the look on your face. Well, good. It's another clue, then. But this scent could be quite old... I**...'' _you teased and poked fun at us when you first met us remember Midna? That's not a good first impression if you ask me. _''Think we might still be able to find her if were quick enough.'

**''Midna you okay?''** Naruto asked her confounded by her new behavior.

''I'm fine...''

''Oh ok then if you says so; I was expecting you to say something mean and highly inappropriate that's all. .Let's head this way,'' Naruto led onto they made it to the stonewalls surrounding Hyrule Castle. Well after an hour due to Naruto getting them randomly lost until Lina finally snapped and yelled, ''Orb the fucking gun! I mean use the Lens of Truth!''

''There seems to be something going on at the fountain...'' They heard one Hylian Guard say. Another said.

''Phew... I'm gonna go put my feet up at Telma's bar when I'm done with work.''

''Aww... How long do I have until this shift is over?'' he asked as the other guard said nothing.' 'Um hello?''

''Phew... I'm gonna go put my feet up at Telma's bar when I'm done with work.''

'''Uum you already said that dude. When is my shift over?''

''Phew... I'm gonna go put my feet up at Telma's bar when I'm done with work.''

''What the fuck? Why do you keep repeating the same thing?''

''Phew... I'm gonna go put my feet up at Telma's bar when I'm done with work.''

''I need to go into a new line of work. ''

The three continued on listening in on more conversations for clues this time an old woman, a hylian man, and woman spoke.(In that order)

''The water level of Lake Hylia has gone down, and you can't cross to the spirit's cave.'

''If the people who came to worship from far away heard that, they'd be very disappointed...''

''It must be hard on Grandma, too, because she can't do her tours...''

''Hhm interesting but not enough for me to figure out a solution...let's go into that café over there!'' Naruto pointed where a barrel in front of the establishment randomly exploded. ''Dude what the fuck?''

''Oh no... I wonder why the water's out...'' The clerk from inside worried.

''I know there's no water in town right now, but...the more people fret, the less it concerns me. It seems only the gossips are truly worried... I wonder, is it better to worry aloud, or to keep silent? People are interesting...'' Said a Hylian man.

Some time later Naruto stated the obvious. ''So we can surmised theirs an water outage, to the point where people can't even bath them selves. Something has happened at like Hylia which is under the jurisdiction of eastern Hyrule...We got to see if we can find a solution without talking to somehow there, though let's not forget to mention...uuaaaaghhhhhhh...Wait...Iila's scent it's in Telma's bar...''

''Grandma why is grandpa talking to himself?''

''It's called Dementia Link! It runs in the family unfortunately.''

0

Sometime later down at lake Hylia

0

'The drop in water has been faster than predicted...At this rate, Lake Hylia will dry up. It's a race against time...'' A Zora said as Naruto approached the lake in his human form. ''Then we need someone who has a penchant to change time.''

''My King! You're r alright...''

''Yes me and my family are alright but before we get to any celebrations round the others I need to know the situation at hand and figure out how to fix it.'' he said as half an hour later the Zoras had gathered.

0

Zoras gathered.

0

''We've had absolutely no water flowing from upstream...'' One Zora said.

''There's no mistaking it. Something must have happened at the water's source in our home, Zora's Domain.'' The second one said.

''Yet how are we to return upstream to our home? With the way things are now, we can't even walk back there...''

''There must be a way... For now, we just need to find a way back upstream, to Zora's domain...''

''I'll head west of here and investigate it , the rest of you stay here.''

''Yes my king!'' The Zoras said.

Naruto and Link kept heading west until they came upon a house. It was the clown man known a Fyer so decided to listen In on his thoughts.

''Hurrrm... I'm too old for this... Fyer and Falbi's Watertop Land of Fantastication...It's our grand reopening at our new lake-bottom location... ... Yeah, nice lake... Don't lakes have more...I don't know...water?Did the Zoras who live upriver do something?Or is it a curse from that spirit that floats around up there?Whatever. It's not like I can go up and complain... That's way too , a costumer? YIKES! IT'S A MONSTER!''

''A shadow bird huh?'' Naruto mused as he cast Nayru's love on him self. ''I'll body slam the archer you cut up his arms!'' Naruto shouted as he ran forward and leapt up into the air body slamming the archer. ''On second thought never mind.''

'' Hey! Stop it! I'm your new master now! Settle down! Hey! Why don't we use this guy to get us all the way to the lake's water source? '' She asked taking control of the Shadow Bird.

''Ok let's do that,'' He said hopping on the bird but shrinking to the size of a chibi kyuubi. ''A word from either of you and I'll bitch slap you with my tails.''

''Ah... We're already here? That bird turned out to be more useful than I expected.''

''My domain isn't too far from here let's go,'' He said leading them to his domain.

0

Some time later

0

''What...the...Hell! My People! What happened?'' He yelled and asked seeing his domain frozen over. ''What the hell is it with bad guys and freezing or burning things? This is bullshit.''

''I think all we need to do is thaw them out...It does us no good to just stand here thinking... Let's leave and come back later. The portal should work for us. We need to find a way to melt the ice and then come back here...''Midna said.

''Death Mountain...That's where we need to go,'' Naruto said as Midna warped them to death mountain. They returned to Domain melting the ice and freeing the Zoras while the water flows once again reached out to Lake Hylia.

''My people are ok,'' Naruto assured his companions. ''The armor I gave you will allow you to swim like a Zora in even the roughest waters...let's continue onward.'' He said as they killed the bugs and cleared the dungeon in the domain which thanks to Naruto's experienced changed it to where the puzzles could be done by him in a matter of minutes.

''Damnit where is that last bug?'' Midna fumed as they had just killed another one underneath a box next to Telma's bar.

''Lake Hylia,'' Naruto suddenly spoke. 'Take us there.''

0

Lake Hylia

0

''And then there was one,'' Naruto said as he watched Link slice off the last bugs head with his sword. ''I give it an 8,'' The Kitsune said from several feet away as the spirit would soon appear.

''_My name is Lanayru. Your efforts have at last restored each of us light spirits in Hyrule.O hero chosen by the gods... The dark power that you seek... It waits in a temple set in the bed of Lake Hylia. ...But before seeking it, you must now bear witness to something...and never forget it. You must know that it was the will of the goddesses that we lock away the forbidden power...When all was chaos, the goddesses descended and gave order and life to the world. They granted power equally to all who dwelt in the light, and then returned to the heavens. The lands where the goddesses descended came to be known as the Sacred Realm. For ages, the people lived at ease, content in mind and body...But soon, word of the Sacred Realm spread through Hyrule, and a great battle ensued... Among those living in the light, interlopers who excelled at magic powerful sorcery, they tried to establish dominion over the Sacred Realm. It was then that the goddesses ordered us three light spirits to intervene._

0

Some Time Later

0

**''What's wrong?'' **Midna asked a sighing Naruto.

''You remember when we fought that giant frog?''

**''What you mean like twenty seconds ago?''**

''Yeah... it was ridiculously easy. My clones kill the tadpoles. Link would stun it with a Bomb Arrow and Lina stabbed it in the face! I think she has some pent anger issues she has been repressing for the past few years; or she really likes to stab things in the face! Anyway as I was saying this temple was harder then even it's predecessor and the boss was whack just like it's predecessor. After this is over I'm going to need some down time,'' Naruto yawned as his eyes met with Midna's for a few seconds reflecting how tired he was. ''We've been up for nearly two days and my mind just needs some rest.''

''Uum Naruto this isn't the enemy containing the Fused Shadow...if so where's the Fused Shadow?''

''I'' looks around ''Mutha Fuc-''

0

Boss Fight-Twilit Aquatic MORPHEEL

0

'_Oh great Morpha but on steroids' _Naruto thought as he and Link sunk to the bottom of the chamber. Naruto sent Mizubunshin to keep the tentacles busy while Link struck the eyeball with the clawshot stunning it. Naruto's clones then flung the creature forward by it's tentacles as Link slash it's weak point.

The creature let loose several bomb fish which Link destroyed with a spin attack. They continued this until the creature emerged from the water so they followed after it. Naruto propelled him self into the air bringing down a powerful blow to the creature exposing a spot where Link could use the clawshot to pull him self close enough to attack the eye stabbing it until the creature was dead.

**''There it is! The last Fused Shadow...I'll just take that, thanks! Thank you...all three of, hopefully you, don't resent me for all I've put you through.''**

''Midna, long ago I accepted that it was my destiny to be tortured with temples until the day I die.

''Of course not, if you can't defeat this guy with then as long as this land is saved I was glad to help.''

**''Your right we have to do something about Zant, the one who thinks he is the king of shadows... His power is a false one... I'll prove it using these!So... I've done everything I needed to. I'm sorry for dragging you all over the place with me... So... Shall we go?'' _I'll kill Zant, secure the Twinkies and then I'll trick Naruto into being my sex slave. My plan is full proof! There is no way it can go wrong at all. _**She inwardly cackled as they entered Lanryu's cave!

''Lanaryu! Hey Lan...Uugh.'' Naruto was blasted and sent flying several feet.

''Naruto!'' His companions shouted only to see a hooded figure defeat Lanaryu and summon Twilight, then for him to extract the Fused Shadows from Midna

''Zant!'' Midna shouted. **''You Twinkie stealing bastard?'' **

**''Did you honestly mean to take an ancient and withered power like this and turn it against me? You are a foolish traitor, Midna. Why do you defy your kin**g?''

**''My KING? You, who do nothing but abuse the magic of your tribe? You must be joking!''**

''How dare you? Are you implying that my power is...our old magic? Now THAT is a joke! This power is granted to me by my god! It is the magic of the King of Twilight, and you WILL respect it! My Midna... Did you forget? Those beasts are the light dwellers who oppressed our people. No matter how much you may desire otherwise, you will never be more than a shadow in their world. You cannot consort with their kind!But if we can make their world ours, Midna...light and darkness will meet at last. Our tribe will take back their realm...and sweet darkness will blot out this harsh light! And that, Midna, is why...I need you. Not just for me, but for all of our people... Lend me your power.''

**''I rather die then you help you,''** She hissed at him.

**''Then it is I who shall be master of all snack cakes!'' **In a flash a series of things happened. Midna was exposed to the Light world and hit with a curse and before the evil king could set their sights on Naruto and Link Lanayru transports them out of there.


	21. When Tensions Run High

Heroes Across Time Abridged

0

I would like to get a shout out to Adamswestlapdog from Youtube. A lot of the material here is based off his abridged series, so credit goes where credit is due. But of course with a female link it couldn't be all that much.

0

Warning

0

This will be far more perverted and violent. Meaning random Lemons, some small, swearing and violence. No one under 18 should be reading this. Also this one of the few stories who I will write an extra chapter for and update along with the rest of my stories. So please be grateful and review and praise my awesomeness. IF YOU'RE A FAN GO SUBSCRIBE TO MY COMMUNITY PLEASE! I'M NUMBER 10 IN THE RANKINGS AND I NEED MORE SUBSCRIBERS! ALSO GO CHECK OUT MY NEWEST STORIES AND REVIEW THANK YOU!

0

Naruto xHarem

0

STORY START

0

Naruto felt pain jolt through his leg as he landed through the window, Louise, Telma's cat showed him. It wasn't enough to cause any noise thanks to Naruto casting a float spell on him self for maximum movement but it still left him stunned. On his back was none other then Midna who was stoned out of her fucking mind. It wasn't a natural high as it had been three days so far and her insistent ramblings were really starting to piss Naruto off.

''I heard that an acquaintance of Telma's defeated the beast that had been attacking tourists on the bridge. His name was Naruto... It sounds as though he brought Telma and her young ward to Kakariko Village.'' He heard the man known as Aura said. Naruto remembered that as it wasn't all that long ago.

'' You mean the showoff blond from some time ago? '' Ashei remembered the blond quite vividly if not for the fact she caught him and a woman with a suspicious accent doing questionable things out in public. ''I didn't think anyone from Hyrule had any Valor left...''

''Oh, no, I don't believe he's from Hyrule proper at all. No, my understanding is that he's from Zora's Domain.''

''What? That doesn't make any sense...I'm great friends with the Zoras and I never heard or seen any humans among them.''

''That just the thing...he's the King of Zora's.''

''King Zora?'' Ashei never had the privilege of meeting with the actual king.

Elsewhere with Naruto and the others. Naruto had brought Midna to Zeld while Lina and Link were epically fighting off Twilight creatures who all for some reason wearing helmets now. That and they refused to get within a close proximity of Lina for some reason. Then again who would want to get within the close proximity of someone whose first instinct was to stab you in the fucking face.

''And then she won't shut up about twinkies and cupcakes. Damnit Zelda it's driving me crazy! Make her stop.''

**''Man I am so fucking high! Look at all those colors! I have no idea where I am? And why the fuck is there a purple parrot in the corner?''**

''You see Zelda! Who the hell acknowledges how fucked up they are? I just want to rest in peace.''

''You know there is this new spell I'm trying out. Something about killing the caster if it's not performed perfectly, but I'm sure that's just some tagline meant to scare children. That and I'm going to need the blood of a virgin.'' Coincidentally Link jumped through the window. Before he could react Naruto drew out a kunai and cut him, gaining the necessary blood much to Link's non-speaking annoyance.

''Now this shouldn't be too difficult.'' 5 minutes later Zelda exploded into a sea of sparklies that entered Midna's body for some reason.

''NOOOOOOOOOO! WHYYY?'' Naruto dropped to her knees. ''We were suppose to sleep together when she became Queen. Just as the prophecy foretold! WHYYY? Now I have endless rage I need to take out on somebody!''

''**You know if Zant didn't invade this wouldn't have happened. You should totally kill him!''**

''Just as the gods foretold! Zant must die! For Zelda!''

''For the snack cakes!''

Link at that moment considered getting a DNA test, but the thought of being undeniably related to Naruto made him want to weep. The quartet then wondered around aimlessly as they realized they forgot to ask Zelda where the Sacred Grove was and Naruto had just smoked a blunt so his memory wasn't very trustworthy at the moment.

''You know Link your grandma wasn't always such a badass! Back then I was the epic hero and she solved the puzzles! Damnit that woman was crazy then and she is now! What were we talking about?''

''Speaking of back then,'' the blonde started with tempered annoyance. ''You know your grandfather was actually nice to be around. It seems like his intelligence is proportionate to my fighting skills. That and he used to touch me. '' the last comment was directed at Naruto.

_'I really shouldn't have heard that! Goddesses they argue and throw the same comments back and forth, over and over again! I don't think I can take it anymore! Goddess above someone put me out of my misery!'  
_

''Well damnit woman what would you think happen when you started punching me in the head when you climaxed? What sort of sick shit did you develop an interest for?''

''Well whatever it was it has me punching you in the head when you sleep as well!''

A gasped of horror echoed from Naruto's lips as his eyes widened. ''That was you? I thought the tooth fairy was angry at me!''

Five hours later the group finally arrived to the sacred grove where Link obtained the Master Sword.

''The sword accepted you as its master...This thing is the embodiment of the evil magic that Zant cast on you. (Refers to Shadow Crystal) It's definitely different from our tribe's shadow magic...Careful... If you touch it, you'll turn back into a beast! This thing is too dangerous... It's probably for the best if we just leave it here, huh? But on the other hand...if we kept it, you'd be able to transform into a beast anytime you wanted... Yes, since Zant was kind enough to give this to us, we should be thankful and use it all we can! If you need it, just call me. I want to keep a low profile, so I'll hide in Naruto's shadow when you guys are human, but I can change you whenever. You can be an wolf anytime you like! Also, thanks to this thing, you can warp whenever you want by switching into wolf form... ''

''Sounds good doesn't it Link?'' Naruto asked. ''Though where do we go from here?'' He asked looking up at the sky.

**''I have something to ask,'' **Midna spoke up. **''Would you guys mind coming with me to find something called the Mirror of Twilight? It's hidden somewhere in Hyrule...Yes, the Mirror of Twilight... Our last potential link to Zant!''**

''I'll pay that bastard back ten-fold for everything he's done.''

''As long as I get to kill something I don't care.'' Lina added.

''Let's go to Telma's Bar...I'm hungry and I think we need to rest for a few days before we continue,'' Link said as they traveled back to Town.

Naruto, wracked with confusion glanced at Lina. ''Did...did Link just talk?''

''Just shut up and follow him.''

Naruto saluted. ''Yes one with boobs!''

Arriving to Telma's bar the group were introduced to the group whom Naruto couldn't be bothered to remember their names. Not even the cutie with the sweet ass.

''How's that Ilia doing, honey?'' Telma asked as she cleaned a beer mug.

''Not to well,'' Link said sadly at the fact that through everything his fiancé lost her memories.

''I'm sure that shaman will find a way to get her memory back. That Renado is a talented man, for sure! Anyway, honey, you've got your own things to worry about, so you just make sure you do what needs doing right now, OK?''

''Ok''

''Listen, honey, if you're puzzled about what you ought to be doing, why not go see our friend Auru? There's a man who knows things! He's out checking the eastern desert of you need detailed directions, just take a peek at that map on the old codger Auru is at Lake Hylia, studying the desert.''

0

Naruto with Shad and Ashei

0

''I'm Shad. Wonderful to meet you.'' He said shaking Naruto's hand.

''As I recall we already met.''

'' About that, sorry about the ribbing I gave you the other day, old town is rather teeming with odd sorts, so I was just being told me all you've been up to. You're rather formidable! I'm rather NOT, I'm afraid. Well, I'm formidable at book reading, but I lack, shall we say, physical skills. That said, if the history and legends of Hyrule are your cup of tea, I'm your fellow! If you're curious, just ask away.''

''Any interesting finds lately?''

''At the moment I'm absolutely entranced by the sky beings known as the , according to legend, Hyrule was made by the Hylians, who, as we all know, are the closest race to the gods. But also according to legend, long ago there was a race even closer to the gods, and some say THESE creatures made the they created the people of Hylia, they simultaneously created a new capital, a city that floated in the heavens. They dwelt there...and some scholars believe that this race lives there still, somewhere in the great beings... Isn't that simply marvelous, old boy? What I wouldn't give to meet them!

''Oh hey, you're the girl from before.'' Naruto said as he turned his attention to Ashei.

''...It's Ashei. Listen, sorry I was so nasty the other day.I thought you were like those sorry excuses for Hyrule soldiers...but I thought wrong. I grew up in the mountains with my father, who was a knight in his own right. He taught me the arts of war as though I was his course, lessons in common courtesy were not part of the regimen, so forgive me if I come off as rude, yeah?''

''Sure why not...we all have our moments.''

''Listen, before I blab both of your ears off, I want to tell you , the mountain to the north of Hyrule... It's unlike any mountain I've ever known. I don't know much yet, but things happen there that happen on no other mountain I know of...Evil controls it...As soon as I know something more, I'll tell you. Until then, you should stay away, yeah? As soon as I have more information, I'll let you know, yeah?''

''Very well I'll head your advice.''

''So how about you and I get a hotel room and...'' Naruto was suddenly yanked away by Lina.

''Come on lover boy. We don't need you given another innocent person crabs.''

''You lying she-demon! You know I'm clean!'' Arriving to their hotel room Naruto was kicked into the room. ''You vile woman what the hell was that about? What is your problem?''

''You're my problem you son of a bitch! I don't even know why I put up with you? I can't stand you! You're rude, annoying, and an idiot who only thinks with his dick!''

''Yeah we'll your an ill-temper, psychotic, and just plain angry pain in the ass!''

''Why the hell do I even put up with you?'' Lina screamed as she got into Naruto's face.

''I don't know...why do you?'' he asked with a flare of his nostrils. The two of them stared each other down before savagely kissing each other and groping each other's body.

''Goddesses I want you...fuck me!''

''I'm going to tear that ass up!''

After knocking back a few brew-skies Link went to say goodnight to his feuding guardians. Big mistake..

_''Oh...that's it! Harder! Fuck me! Oh this feels so good! You feel so good inside me!''_

_''I miss this! I miss you and your sweet pussy Lina-chan!''_

_''Keep pounding into me baby! Cum inside me!''_

_''I'm going to fuck you all night!''_

And in that one moment Naruto and Lina did the one thing that Ganon, countless temples, monsters, and even Cuccoos could not do. They effectively traumatized the prophesied hero into a coma.

0

This is Psudocode_Samurai's message. Please spread the message, message the Admins in support of a MA rating and such. Email Support fanfiction which you can find by clicking help in the up right corner.

DO NOT ASK ME TO ADD YOU TO THE PETITION. ASK SAMURAI. THIS IS NOT MY PETITION.

0

Greetings to the fine folk that moderate our site.

I, along with many, have been writing and posting on your fine site for years now, some of the better examples of up and coming writers out there are are now suddenly finding some of the stories we've come to love at risk of being removed without the chance to even rectify our errors.

For some, that means the permanent loss of a story. While I don't have anything that (I believe) violates your terms of use, there are those out there that are never able to recover a story in it's original form, this is something I find to be almost worthy of a legal action, as while we cannot claim ownership of a character, the stories are OURS and simply destroying them is something that is inexcusable.

It's quite easy to simply add an MA rating, additional filters or even a simple requirement for a free membership to read the stories presented here, and would cut down on hateful anonymous reviews and posts at the same time, so I have to question as to why such a thing, in all this time, simply wasn't added.

If you're worried about falsification of a registration then have an appropriate disclaimer and then there can be no dispute, you took your steps and the PARENTS didn't monitor their children, if that is even your concern. If it is more of a personal view or desire then please at least let people know and give them a chance to remove a story that you and yours find offensive, most people on the site are actually rather cordial when it comes to such requests.

While I cannot say for sure if this letter will even reach those that may be willing to listen, of if it's more akin to a wide spectrum purge in preparation for something bigger, please understand that you are going to be looseing a LARGE number of your writers, and thus your income from a lack of readers if there is not some level of action taken to help with this situation.

For those that may agree with this, please fell free to sign on and send this to the support server, maybe we can get some movement on this.

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